Don’t let your ego get the best of you. You may think you have such a great attitude but if you’re turning off prospects then you may be coming across differently than you think. Humble yourself and look at your profile again and your way of communicating to see where you’re being misrepresented. Are you trying to show your confidence and instead coming across as cocky? Are you trying to show how smart you are or how popular you are or how funny you are or how successful you are by exaggerating those attributes? Then you’re probably coming off as overeager or fake or pretentious. Be yourself. If you have to think too much about what you’re writing in your profile then you should probably delete and start over. Once you meet your JDates you’ll be able to let them see for themselves how amazing you are.
I know “be yourself” sounds so cliche, but trying too hard is worse. There is a way to let people know who you are with words on paper (or rather, on screen) without having to actually say “I’m really funny” or “I’m really successful.” Write your In My Own Words in a witty way or discuss how motivated and ambitious you’ve been your entire life.
under Online Dating
No one wants to get their heart broken, and likewise, no one wants to intentionally break anyone’s heart. That’s why many of us decide that when it’s not quite working with someone, when the stars just aren’t lining up, instead of getting fireworks in our belly, we get indigestion — it’s easy for us to tip toe around the brutally honest truth and try to hide our true feelings behind polite one-liners that we hope will do the dirty work for us:
- It’s not you, it’s me.
- I’m terribly busy and this really isn’t a good time.
- I’ve started really, seriously, seeing someone else.
The only thing worse than throwing one of these sentences onto a person you don’t want to see again is having them not get the hint. There’s no trick when it comes to figuring out if someone is not interested in you, it’s just being able to accept the truth. Follow their words, but ultimately trust your gut.
Do: Follow up with someone you enjoyed going out with on a date. See how they are throughout the week, then ask them if they’d like to go out again. If you are feeling unsure whether or not someone would like to see you again… or you are getting too many wish-washy responses from them, pick up on their signs and swallow their constant “I can’t” as an indication that, unfortunately, they are not feeling this (Don’t fret, there are plenty of other people out there that will have goo goo eyes for you)!
Don’t: Be overly persistent or pushy with your follow-ups. Don’t sign off your text messages or emails with “Please go out with me one more time, I promise you’ll be impressed” or threaten them with a “I won’t give up on asking you out.” If you’re feeling that you are the only one who is excited to see you again, don’t force it. Bow out gracefully and search for someone else who will be your true match.