Okay, I’m shivering…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

Usually, I’m the upbeat fairytale believing, “Sex in the City Jewish Ms. Bradshaw.”  BUT, I just read an article posted on Facebook® that has the hair on my arm standing up and I am shivering (and not in a good way).  The news article highlighted an alleged rapist with known histories in both DC and NY…. The scary part is he approached me on the Upper West Side just a few months ago.  The same young, charming, seemingly intelligent man stopped me on the streets (72nd street to be exact) and engaged me in conversation.  He portrayed himself as a sophisticated international journalist who lived in both DC/NYC and traveled abroad often (think male version of Christiane Amanpour) and proceeded to ask for my contact information and asked if I would be interested in grabbing coffee.  Not to sound totally self-absorbed, but this happens on occasion, and it is flattering but usually of no interest or consequence.  I generally applaud men who make such overtures as it does take guts.  Nonetheless, I routinely respond “I have an (imaginary) boyfriend.”   However, because of this man’s international journalist experience I was intrigued and I gave him my “junk” email address.  In our two email exchanges I found him aggressive and defensive, and I ended all communication and never saw him again.  He put me on his international newsletter distribution list, which I was unable to unsubscribe from after 50 attempts.

I have no idea who he really is or whether he is innocent or guilty.  Fortunately, I only exchanged two emails.  But this obviously serves as a constant reminder that I wanted to share: be very careful and trust your gut.  As my mom would say, “there are crazies out there.”   Unfortunately, this also applies to online dating, not to the exclusion of JDate.  Although most of our parents would celebrate us bringing home that nice Jewish boy/girl, this does not guarantee quality.  Be smart, be careful, but most of all have fun!

JDate Strangers

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under JDate,Online Dating,Relationships

It was a glorious weekend, taking a stroll on the upper west side to meet the girls at our favorite Sunday brunch place Isabella’s, very “sex and the city” as we toasted with our Bellini’s.  As I was walking, I locked eyes with a good-looking gentleman who waved hello.  He looked familiar but I could not place how I knew him.  I definitely did not know his name and I definitely had not gone on a date with him.  After racking my brain, I realized we had actually never met.  We only knew each other through cyber space and recognized each other from our photos.  How strange it is to recognize a familiar JDate face in a city of over 8 million people.  I guess strangers are only friends who have yet to meet.  To make it a little stranger, I saw him enter my building which I assume he lives in.  NYC for as big as it is, is amazingly small sometimes.


The Search…

by SWEETADVENTURE8 under Relationships

It seems most folks are in a constant search for one thing or another. As a recent NYC transplant, this week I have been engaged in an apartment search and honestly I’m not sure which is more challenging…finding the right apartment or the right guy to date? I’ve been pounding the pavement on the UWS (Upper West Side) for the perfect apartment and so far there is something always a little off…which reinforces that it is all about priorities/compromise (as with dating)…perfection does not exist…and maybe if it did, it might actually be a little boring. So, when does my search end for my apartment/mensch?I believe when I have an intangible “content” feeling that this is “the perfect fit” with all its imperfections.

Though my practical side is at odds with my romantic notions, reminding me that in both searches timing is crucial and out of my control, both with an apartment vacancy and finding that perfect-enough-for-me bachelor.