New resolutions abound and generally for singletons this involves a renewed focus on fitness routines and their love lives. Personally, I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. It is never a bad idea to reflect and make changes but shouldn’t these changes occur at the moment of recognition as opposed to Jan 1st? Though, Harry (Billy Crystal) in When Harry Met Sally made his proclamation on New Year’s Eve, his words of honest vulnerability is heart melting. “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” I digress, I guess the point being is that rather than waiting for serendipity to happen the real power is to make the “choice” to make it happen whether on January 1st or any other time. “Choose” to play relationships out and see what develops rather than going on the continuous merry-go-round of dating. In any case, come January 1st, gyms are a lot fuller now with a lot of folks on the scene hoping to meet their lobster. Here’s hoping that you build those buns of steel and, as for the merry-go-round of dating, you get off that ride as soon as possible.
Happy Resolutions and New Year to all MOTs.
In the 1989 classic film about love and friendship When Harry Met Sally…, Harry ponders the question of whether men and women can be “just friends.” As an idealist, I surprisingly fall on the less popular division line with Harry and believe that it is in fact most challenging, and perhaps naïve, for a heterosexual man and woman to believe they can be truly just good friends. No doubt there are some exceptions, and of course a casual friendship is common, but I do not believe you can have a truly “close” friend of the opposite sex without one person developing feelings. There will almost always be a phase of the friendship where one or the other (or both) person(s) is curious or interested in being more than just friends.
However, does someone wanting to sleep with you prevent them from being your friend if you never actually do sleep together? “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” The philosophical riddle raises questions regarding thoughts and knowledge of reality. Having sexual thoughts and following through are entirely two different things. If the frustration stemming from the unrequited sexual attraction does not destroy the connection, perhaps a friendship can develop with the acknowledgement that there is a physical attraction.
I’m heterosexual and I very much value quality men and their company. But as I get older I recognize it is harder and harder to maintain friendships with my male friends, either because they have gotten married or because we are both single and that in itself can lead to a host of compromising scenarios. In the unique scenario that you do have a “true” female/male platonic “close” friendship, it should be treasured because I believe it is truly a rarity.