under Single Life
Here it is, the first day of Hanukkah. Remember this time last year?
“You mean when it was nineteen days after the first day of Hanukkah?”
It’s hard to conjure up a holiday feeling when the holiday never stays put.
Not that Christmas observers can’t be confused too. They may know all too well that December 25th is when they’d better offer up something more than Christmas spirit. But, what’s with those twelve days of Christmas? When we give a bad gift during our 8 measly days of Hanukkah, we don’t add insult to injury by giving five identically bad ones. One goose a-laying is enough.
Hanukkah cards generally don’t carry the same heft as the Christmas variety. There’s always the generically bland, politically correct version – “Season’s Greetings.” But in these sensitive times, even that could offend: “I don’t worship the winter – I go to Florida from December to March – I’m insulted!”
Those who celebrate Christmas enjoy something we Jews don’t – a sanctioned excuse for hitting on the opposite sex: Mistletoe. The only thing we make a point of standing under on Christmas is the sign to a Chinese restaurant. (How come Norman Rockwell never painted a warm and fuzzy holiday dinner at Chow’s?) I needn’t read the fortune in my cookie to know an unprovoked kiss isn’t in my tea leaves. But why wait for a dangling plant to dictate our moves? Guys, as my holiday gift to you, here is a sure sign that lady you’ve met is waiting for you to sweep her off her feet: She’d rather direct eye contact to you than her iPhone. Okay. I’ve not yet actually witnessed such a phenomenon, but if you ever do, let me know what it feels like.
I’m going to start right off the bat by admitting I’m slightly obsessive compluslive, a little neurotic, and get fixated on things that I really should not be fixated on. But then again, I’m a guy. We’re all a little nuts.
But sometimes I just can’t get over women that refuse to drink a beer. This makes me absolutely crazy.
Maybe its because I’m such a beer lover that I can’t accept women that will only appreciate wine and mixed drinks. Maybe its because I subconsciously want any woman I date to be one of the guys at heart, and this rules her out of fitting into this category. Or maybe I’m just crazy!
Regardless of what the case is, there is nothing sexier to me than a beautiful woman holding a beer. And those who refuse at all costs to ever drink a beer, you drive me crazy!
Just take a sip! =P
under Online Dating
So many men seeking online dating advice come to me with the same story…
They go out on a first date…
Everything seems to go absolutely perfect.
They have fun, enjoy good conversation, there is heavy flirting, some casual kisses, and even planning for a second first date that takes place..
And then NOTHING.
The girl disappears, never to be seen again.
So what on earth happened?
1. We may not be being honest with ourselves. But if the date resulted in kisses (Pending they weren’t over the top sexual) and plans for a second date were made, odds are that it probably is not that and the date did actually go well.
2. The female is just flaky, plain and simple. One of the problems that is inherit with online dating is that it creates a strive to find absolute perfection. Women just never ever stop getting new messages. They may have even received 20 new messages since the time your date ended, to when your first phone call was made. Some of these women just keep dating new people no matter how good their first date was because they are always looking for something better that may not be out there.
My advice, just go with the flow and don’t start building houses with white picket fences until you are sure you found one that is ready to commit! It may just not always be your fault!
What would you say if I told you that you could cause women to feel high levels of attraction towards you without even doing anything?
Would you be interested?
I’m going to let you all in on a little secret that most people don’t know about.
The human body is a complicated thing. We are constantly releasing hormones and chemicals that cause us to feel and experience different things that are beyond our control. And with that said, one of the things that we can’t control are feelings of attraction.
Attraction is something that men and women just feel. We feel it mostly when we see something visual. Women feel it for ten reasons that have nothing to do with looks.
With that said, one way to make women feel attraction is by scaring them. When women are frightened it releases many of the same hormones that cause attraction. And while we don’t want to scare them in the, I’m a creepy online dater way, we can find many fun activities that will provide our dates with a scare during October. Stay tuned to future blog entries for some great ideas.
I think the unwritten rule that once you leave college you can’t make a new friend of the opposite sex is complete bollix. I understand that, as a single male, I am much more apt to view every woman I meet in terms of her romantic potential but I am very sick of viewing woman, and our interactions, this way. Case in point, as I’ve mentioned numerous times in past blogs, I haven’t gone out on what I would consider to be a bad date in over a year. That being said, however, I haven’t been interested in going out on many second dates, which has left me in a bit of conundrum.
You see, I’ve gone out on a bunch of dates with women that I didn’t feel a romantic attraction or connection with, though I would have loved to continue hanging out with them as friends. I know that this would be a much more reasonable request if I hadn’t met the women in question on a dating site, since then we wouldn’t have met under the sole pretense of seeing if we were romantically compatible. Yet, I still wish there was some wiggle room within this construct that would allow us the opportunity to become friends.
Recently I was on JDate scanning the list of women who were online and I noticed a woman that I had dated last year for about two months was logged on. Our relationship ended amicably with both of us agreeing that our schedules were too conflicting and that we just couldn’t make things work. However, I’ve always felt that, had we met under different circumstances, without the burden of expectations which dating someone brings, we could have become really good friends. Of course, when we decided to stop dating we both wished each other well. Still, I am someone who believes you can never have too many good people in your life, which is why I was tempted when I saw her online recently to say hello and ask how she was doing.
Of course I know that this is a big online dating no-no since, once you cease dating someone you’ve met online, you are supposed to cut ties and go back to the proverbial dating grind. Yet, I don’t like underlying reality to online dating. Having that been said I don’t know how I plan on changing it since I might be leading the way in this revolution without anyone marching behind me. I did want to get these feelings off of my chest. In the end there are many aspects of online dating that I enjoy and am thankful that it is a resource for meeting people which is available to me. Ultimately I know you can’t always have things just the way you want them when it comes to dealing with the uncertainty and unpredictability of dating. On this one subject, however, I do wish things were different even if I’m being way too idealistic in my outlook.
I am completely and utterly convinced that women can sense when a man who is interested in them is lacking in confidence. While some men are naturally better than others when it comes to pursuing and acting confidently around women I honestly believe that every male has the ability to boldly pursue a woman with the utmost poise.
While some men hold the attitude that they are “humanity’s gift to women” I think that for a majority of men we need to feel comfortable in a given situation in order to project the most self-assured version of ourselves. This is not to say that you won’t have success with a woman if on that particular occasion you brought your “B-Game,” but I do think that women can tell when a guy isn’t completely confident in what he’s saying and how he’s acting toward them.
Even though we’ve all seen teeny bopper movies where the stereotypically hot-shallow girl ends up falling for the nerdy socially awkward guy when she discovers his inner charm, this typically isn’t how things work in the dating world. Furthermore, how many times have you (men) heard your female friends say that they are, “looking for a guy with confidence,” or that, “they find confidence sexy”? In the end I may know very, very little about women, but what I do know is that most women are attracted to confident men and can smell fear on those who aren’t.
Guys, we’re in trouble. There are way too many of us. Not biologically. The ratio of men to women, in the world, is roughly even. That is, if you don’t count China. The JDate community is a lot like China. It’s large, the population generally shares a common characteristic, and there is an overflow of men. It is true that because the men of China are outnumbered, many good, eligible men will stay single. There really isn’t hope for many of them, unless they develop some sort of reverse-polygamy method, which doesn’t sound like it would be inherently popular. But in China, men outnumber women because of past laws governing the sex of children. On JDate, however, the overflow of men is de facto. Nobody forced more men than women to sign up. What has caused this unequal distribution? It’s simple: JDate is a microcosm of Jewish culture.
Men, if you are online and do a search for women that are online and in your area, you may find one woman. That’s fine because she seems pretty and friendly and there isn’t a reason she wouldn’t enjoy a conversation with you. What you sometimes don’t realize is that there are five other men in your area thinking the same thing. Though you are handsome, charming and funny, so are the other five men. You have to think strategically. You can’t start a conversation by saying “hi.” Do you realize how many ‘hi’s’ the average woman on JDate receives daily? I do not know the exact number, but it is probably in the billions. We are like undead zombies programmed to both message ‘hi’ to every woman we find, and eat brains. Jewish women have nightmares about random men saying ‘hi.’ They have probably been conditioned to the point where they can’t even deal with people saying ‘hi’ to them in real life. Their families have ostracized them so they must live in exile where they live out their years unable to begin conversations.
There is only one solution, in my mind, to this problem. It’s simple: Let’s start a campaign to get Jewish (or non-Jewish) women to sign up to this website. We can start by making posters on college campuses and community centers. Word of mouth will be essential. Go to your synagogue. Ask your rabbi to mention this growing problem in his next sermon; or you can become a rabbi explicitly to solve this problem. Call your senators. Let them know that they will be unelectable in 2012 unless they understand the severity of this disparage. Finally, find a mate and produce children. When the women grow up, introduce them to JDate. Tell your sons that they have to fend for themselves. They will be okay.