JDate is Turning Me Into a Cougar!

by Tamar Caspi under JDate,Online Dating,Single Life

Dear Tamar,

Is it common for younger men to email older women because I’ve gotten more messages from men in their late 30’s than I’m comfortable with. Why would 39-year-olds be contacting a 58-year-old? Opportunists?

-Not a Cougar


Dear Not a Cougar,

Could a man 20 years your senior be an opportunist? Sure. Could it be that you are a pretty and young-looking woman who has a lot to offer and attracts men of all ages? Absolutely! Depending upon what you’re looking for — which I believe to be a companion for the next half of your life — you will need to review each man’s profile to see how he presents himself and what he is looking for before eliminating them. Of course, you can have a strict minimum to your age range and if that doesn’t start with the number 3_ or 4_, then so be it.

At the end of the day you need to be comfortable with the other person, and if their age is going to bother you then don’t lead these men on. Take it as a compliment and say so: “I’m so flattered that you took the time to email me and you seem really sweet, but I think I would be more comfortable with someone closer to my age. Good luck to you!”

May-December Romance

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I have been approached on JDate by much younger men and it confuses me.  I am widowed and, for me, the comfort of being with a widower makes wonderful sense so I’m sad to see that some of these men are this much younger than I and with a loss already.  There is someone that I feel a connection with at this time and I’m nervous that he neglected to see my age. Is this younger man/older woman (Ashton and Demi) becoming trendier?  I’m battling grey hairs and wrinkles!

Dear May-December Romance,

There is no way that age can be ignored on JDate, so believe me this guy knows EXACTLY how old you are and he likes it! Age is one of the first things people look at and next to location it’s probably the most utilized tool to separate your prospects.  It sounds like you’re a hot widow that looks young for her age and is doing a great job battling the gray hairs and wrinkles! Your youthful appeal is probably also emanating from the inside out, so enjoy the attention and be open to the possibility of falling in love with a younger man!

Age Before Beauty?

by Tamar Caspi under Relationships

Dear Tamar,

I just turned 79. I really look 69. I wrote 75 in my profile and found somebody who was exactly was I was looking for! He is 77 but when I gave him my email he wrote that I was deceiving him because he found out my real age and then he stopped all communication. If I put 79 in my profile I get all 80 year olds and up. I have nothing to do with that age range. I am very active and relate more to younger people and they respond to me. I am ready to give up my search. I have no hope. What can I do?

Dear Age Before Beauty?,

The guy doesn’t sound very nice. In fact, I’m appalled by his behavior. No offense, but at 77 can he really afford to be so strict? He obviously thinks that age is more than a number whereas you believe that it’s nothing but a number. He’s not your Beshert. Forget about this guy and move on.  You’re young at heart and that’s what matters! I don’t think a little white lie of 4 years is such a big deal and it’s not like you’re not going to admit your real age, right? Since you’re an active senior, be active on JDate as well. That means you need to seek out the guys that fit your preferences — age, activities, location, hobbies and so on. Then go ahead and write them an email and let them know exactly what you told me — that you’re 79 but look and act more like 69 and are not interested in men older than you. On the same note — don’t discount 80-year-olds, they could be just as young-looking and active as you!