Sara and Steve
UPDATE: Sara & Steve’s wedding announcement was featured in the New York Times’ vows section. Check out the accompanying video segment of the Hofstetters’ courtship below:
SARA: I had just finished grad school in Philadelphia and was moving back to New York to begin work in the theatre industry. I was very excited to be single, start a new job, and finally have a life in New York. I grew up in Manhattan, but never lived there as an adult. I dabbled on JDate over the years, so I figured I would sign up to meet some new people and go out on a few dates. I never expected anything serious would come of it.
STEVE: As a touring comic, it was incredibly hard for me to find a stable relationship. My social life was limited to women I met after shows, who were usually more excited by my profession than my personality. I was frustrated; finding a quality woman who could challenge me seemed impossible. I had been on JDate in the past, with little success to show for it. I figured I’d give it one last try – the odds of finding a Jewish intellectual from New York were a lot better online than they were after a show in Peoria.
SARA: Steve IM’d me the first week I was on the site. When I saw that he was a comedian, I was apprehensive. I was not a fan of stand-up comedians and certainly never considered dating one, but his profile intrigued me. It was so well-written, intelligent and funny. Two things stood out for me: First, when describing his ideal woman he wrote: “There should not be a height difference of more than 14 inches.” Second, he addressed that standard JDate profile line of “I don’t know why I’m doing this” with “Yes you do. Your mother convinced you to find a nice Jewish boy and this is much easier than asking guys at bars if they had a Bar Mitzvah.” Reading that made me smile.
STEVE: I had rewritten my profile with the express purpose of finding “The One.” To narrow the field, I was brutally honest – a strategy I recommend to anyone looking for anything more than maximizing their number of unsuccessful first dates. After fixing my virtual self, I began searching. The first day I was on the site, I was struck by Sara’s profile in particular – she was articulate, educated and beautiful. And instead of promising she was funny in her profile like so many other girls had, she simply was.
SARA: Steve and I IM’d the entire afternoon. When I had to leave for a work event, we said goodbye. But when I got home later that night, I purposely signed back in to see if he was online because I knew that I wanted to meet him. I didn’t tell him I did that until months later.
STEVE: When we finished IMing that night, Sara asked if we wanted to meet the next day. I was surprised! I thought the next step would be a phone call, but she said there was no point in wasting time. I was impressed and agreed by telling her we could meet between her workplace and mine. She got off at 6:30, and I had a spot at 7:30. The hour window gave us a time limit in case the date was terrible; it was her idea, but a good one. The only problem was the date was going so well that she came to my show with me. I did my 15 minute set in about 12 minutes and left immediately so we could spend more time getting to know each other.
SARA: We met on July 22nd. We went out for frozen yogurt, caught an impromptu concert in the park, went to dinner, just meandered around the city and ended the night with a romantic walk across the Brooklyn Bridge.
STEVE: That’s where I kissed her. In the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge.
SARA: That’s true, it was right in the middle. I’ll never know if he kissed me in Manhattan or Brooklyn.
STEVE: But she kissed me back.
SARA: Of course I kissed him back. That was the only time we stopped talking the whole date. Our one-hour date turned into a nine-hour marathon. It felt like we had known each other forever, yet we were discovering each other at the same time. We immediately made plans to see each other the following night.
STEVE: The date was amazing. We connected in a way I never had before. My brutal honesty was matched by hers and, unlike other girls I had dated, she made me laugh. When I got home, I was, dare I say, glowing. I called a friend and proclaimed that I’d just met my wife. And I didn’t just say that so my friend’s wedding toast would be awesome.
SARA: But it will be.
STEVE: Of course.
SARA: Three days after we met, we took our profiles off the site. Only 48 days after that, I was visiting Steve for his 30th birthday, while he gigged at a club in Sarasota, Florida. He told me he wanted to show me one of the most beautiful views he had ever seen. He took me to a secluded part of Lido Beach – where he had a friend write, “Sara, Will You Marry Me” in the sand before we got there. He dropped to one knee and said, ”I had always promised myself that I would be wealthy by the time I was 30. With you, I am wealthier than I could have ever hoped for.” Shocked and teary-eyed, I said yes. We are planning a winter wedding.
STEVE: From the first date, I was just waiting until it was appropriate to ask her to marry me. I knew the whole time that I wanted to spend my life with her and it seems she did, too. I guess that is what makes it perfect – both of us are equally head over heels for the other. I spend half my day wondering how someone so incredible could be hopelessly in love with me. And she tells me she does the same. People constantly ask us how we found each other. After telling them we met on JDate, my best friend, her aunt, and about 40 other people have signed up, hoping to find their Sara.
SARA: Or their Steve.
STEVE: Well, sure. I doubt my buddy is looking for his Steve.
SARA: Sometimes we will just look at each other in the middle of something fun, or a loving moment, and just shake our heads in disbelief and say, “JDate, huh?” I can’t believe that I met the man I’m going to marry on JDate. I also can’t believe that I met a 6’4” redheaded Jewish comedian that loves to dance, but that’s the package that he came in.
STEVE: So yeah, thanks guys. We owe you a fruit basket or something.
Sara and Steve
New York, New York