Throw Out That List
Most single people maintain a list of traits, characteristics or attributes they desire in a future mate. Some people seek brunettes or blondes, and others refuse to date somebody older than a specific age. Many people prefer tall, while others don’t care about height. Others seek a mate employed in a specific profession or in a certain socioeconomic group, while others prefer somebody with strong character. Unfortunately, the list tends to get longer as we grow older, making it more difficult to finally find that “perfect” partner.
I suggest that all of you reevaluate your lists. Better yet, throw them out. You are needlessly limiting your choices. One never knows where your future mate might be and you might even be surprised with whom you would be most compatible. The longer you believe that you will find that one person that has all ten of your most desired qualities, the longer you will be single.
Here are a few suggestions:
First, widen your search criteria on JDate. Perhaps you increase the maximum age of your desired match in your search. Maybe you lower the height requirement by a couple of inches.
Second, expand your geographic range. Stop looking for matches that are strictly within a ten mile radius. Expand the range to the maximum. Better yet, if you live in New York, but would be open to moving to Florida, why not do a search in Florida?
Third, stop being so picky when it comes to a person’s occupation. Too many people will not agree to meet somebody because they don’t work on Wall Street or they aren’t a doctor or attorney. There are many other professions in the world where people can be successful. Give these people a chance.
Fourth, don’t avoid dating somebody because they don’t make $1mm a year. While money is important, too many people, especially women, will refuse to meet a guy who is not making a certain amount of money. People need to remember that relationships are built on love, friendship, physical attraction, trust, honesty, integrity and similar goals and values. Money is important, but it isn’t the foundation of the relationship. Instead, it is icing on the cake.
Finally, don’t think that you are going to marry a fashion model. Most guys want to marry the most physically attractive girl in the world. I have news for you guys. It’s not going to happen. Take a look in the mirror and see if you are the most attractive person in the world. If not, try to be a little more realistic in life.
While all of these attributes are very important, try not to refuse a date with somebody because he/she is one year too old, or a couple of pounds overweight. If they possess many of the qualities you need, it is worth a date. You never know what can happen.
I appreciate all of the comments and emails I have been getting over the past few months. Should there be a topic you would like me to write about in the future, please let me know. I look forward to hearing from you.