From my own experience I can say that after a date I usually try to be the first one to follow-up with the guy. This takes care of a number of things. First, since I am in charge of the situation, there is no nerve-racking waiting game for me. Second, the guy is aware of my position. And third, based on his response, I’ll be aware of his position. As women, we shouldn’t sit and wait to be picked or rejected; we should be in charge of our lives.

Two recent examples. Last week I had two dates with two different guys.

The first guy was very interested in me and during the date was already proposing a second date for the following day. Unfortunately, I didn’t share his enthusiasm and had no interest in seeing him again. When I got home, I e-mailed him that he is a very nice guy and a great catch, but not the type of person I am looking for and I wished him good luck. He took it (almost) well, and said that I wasn’t his type either Case closed.

I liked the second guy much better, but I had some reservations about him based on what he and I were talking about. I decided that he is a “maybe” and if he asks, I’ll probably go on a second date with him, just to clarify my suspicions. When I got home I e-mailed him saying that I had a good time, and if he wants to he can reach me at my private e-mail address or call me. I haven’t heard from him again. Case closed.

None of this dates landed me my Mr. Right, but due to my proactive follow-up approach, I was very clear on where I and my dates stand – the first one “yes” for him, “no” for me and the second one “no” for him, “maybe” for me. No waiting around, no worries.

My approach might not fit well into the chasing game, but since I am not into playing games, it works well for me

But, you start paragraph 5 with the statement, “Many beautiful women often ask me why…” Do you imply that women who are not beautiful don’t ask. Or — crueler — non-beautiful women don’t have to ask. Or — more liberal — all women are beautiful and, therefore, “Beautiful women” is a conflation, perhaps even redundant.

I’m a philogynist in the kindest sense of the word. I enjoy being with women and usually find myself at gatherings standing with the women and chatting rather than men, primarily because I don’t follow sports.

However, there is a difference between the quality of beauty and that of attractive — the former being a passive trait, largely defined by societal norms and marketing media, and the latter being the ability to evoke the desire in another person for one’s company. G-d’s unfair joke on humanity is that beauty can be assessed at a distance, while attractiveness requires one to get up close and personal.

It is possible for a beautiful woman to be not attractive once a man gets to know here, i.e., at the conclusion of that first date. Sic, he does not call.

If he is an honorable man, he will suppress the urge to bed her anyway, and move on instead. And, yes, he should call and tell her that. I’d like to see an article from you discussing how a guy does that without coming off as a complete ass.

Just one man’s thoughts. Thanks again.

Not all men like the chase.

If you are interested in a guy and he hasn’t called you: CALL HIM.

Stop being so shy, and quit playing all these games.