Persistence vs. Stalking – Where to Draw the Line
I always say that there is a fine line between confidence and cockiness. Confidence is knowing what you have to do and cockiness is knowing what you can do. Similarly, there is a fine line between persistence and cyber stalking. However, how does one know when they have crossed that line?
Persistence is a good thing in life. They say that winners never quit and quitters never win. There is no such thing as luck. Instead, those that work hard and are diligent make their own luck. But when it comes to pursuing a woman, an overly persistent guy can be seen as a cyber stalker. Where do we draw the line?
When a guy sees an attractive woman’s photo on JDate, he should read her entire profile first before contacting her. Most guys will contact a woman regardless of what she says in her profile. In fact, many guys just write foolish things such as “You’re hot” or “I think you are beautiful”. Nothing will turn off a woman more than when a guy contacts her without reading her profile.
Instead, a guy should write her a nice note and mention some things in her profile that they have in common. Perhaps she mentions she likes sports or movies. A guy’s initial letter to her should somehow reference that.
Once the letter is sent, a guy should wait to hear back. Many guys give up right then and there while others bombard the woman with incessant emails with each letter being more vicious than the previous one. It might even get to a point where a guy finally writes “You aren’t as hot as you think you are!” or something even crueler.
What does a guy gain by doing something like that? He makes an ass of himself by harassing her. She may have a friend that this guy has contacted as well that might have been interested in him, but once the harassed woman tells her friend the story, she won’t respond. There is nothing to be gained by writing too many emails and everything to be lost. A bad reputation is tough to overcome.
Instead, feel free to give it a second shot a couple of weeks later. In the subsequent email, once again point out your similarities and common interests. You might want to preface the email by stating that she might not have gotten the first email and was hoping that she would read your profile.
If she fails to respond, move on. Anything sent to her after this second email will be harassment. Trust me, she received the email or just deleted it because she wasn’t interested. Move on. Maintain your self respect. Harassing her or writing vicious emails to her because she didn’t respond makes you a cyber stalker.
Remember the email Golden Rule. Assume that anything you write in an email will be read by other people as well as the intended recipient. Would you want other girls to read your venom and think poorly of you? Of course not.