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Avoiding the Trash Bin

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Let’s face it.  Writing an email to a complete stranger isn’t always the easiest thing in the world to do.   In fact, it can often be downright agonizing.   We only get one shot at a first impression so we need to make it a good one.  The following tips are the top three ways to avoid that all dreaded delete button.

#1 – Don’t write too much!

Keep your emails short and limited to one or two questions at most.  Most of us work long days and come home completely exhausted from the daily grind.  While all of us want to meet that special someone, spending long periods of time reading and responding to emails after work is often the last thing we want to do. Writing too much and asking too many questions may cause the reader to feel like they are being asked to do a homework assignment! This may result in your email being thrown in the delete pile no matter how great it is. On top of that, many daters receive an overwhelming amount of emails every day as it is. So make it easy for potential dates to reply and you will find yourself receiving more responses by the day.  Don’t make the rookie mistake of driving away what could be a great thing with an overwhelming email.  Keep it short and stay out of the trash bin.

#2 – Make it personal!

All your emails should look and sound completely personalized.  Many online daters write emails that sound as if they have been copied and pasted to dozens of people, using generic conversation starters such as:

“What do you do for fun?”

“What do you do for a living?”

“You seem interesting.”

Emails that come off this way often find their way straight to the trash.  Show the other person that you’ve actually taken the time to read their profile and that you are genuinely interested in talking to them.  They should feel original and unique as though you are writing this email for them and them only.  So put in that extra effort and find something interesting and specific to comment on from their profile.    While this may take a little extra time, don’t think of this as work, think of this as moving one step closer towards good times and happiness.

 #3 – Say something funny

Sense of humor is one of the most attractive qualities anyone can have.  Most of us dream of finding someone that can make us laugh all day and night.  Make your date laugh by throwing a joke or two into your email. The joke should be something that relates to her profile or interests.  Being slightly flirtatious doesn’t hurt either.  Be sure to use smiley faces to not only show a flirty/playful side, but to ensure she knows you are just joking.  Most online daters get asked the same boring questions over and over.  By making them laugh, you’re already two steps ahead of the competition. 

Joshua Pompey is an online dating consultant and enthusiast as well as author of the online dating book, The REAL Online Game for the REAL Online Dater.

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