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The Simple Truth: Why Men Don’t Call Women Back

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Women are complex and confusing creatures. Men, on the other hand, aren’t like us. You could say they’re more simple minded. They don’t spend hours obsessing over everything they do. Wouldn’t it be nice if they did? With men, they either like you or they don’t. If they do like you, trust me, you’ll know it. If you find yourself wondering if your man fell off the planet because he didn’t call you back, here are a few reasons why you never heard from him again.

1. Chemistry
Believe it or not, chemistry isn’t just important to women. It matters to men, too. A man can meet his dream girl but if he doesn’t feel a connection with her, he won’t call her again.

2. Mind Your Manners
Sometimes women forget their manners and are rude on a date. Perhaps the guy wasn’t what you expected, so you think it’s okay to be rude to him. Newsflash, this is never okay! Regardless of if you’re disappointed when you meet someone, rudeness is never acceptable. If you act horribly towards someone, there’s little chance he’ll call you back.

3. Tick Tock
Men can’t stand when women are late to a date. It’s a quality that just isn’t tolerated. When you’re late on a date you’re telling that person you don’t respect them enough to be on time. Be on time and don’t give anyone a reason not to call you again!

4. He’s Just Not That Into You
When this happens, you can’t take it personally. Your date could have thought you were beautiful and had a great time with you, but he just wasn’t into you. It happens all the time. And there’s no reason for it. I’ve gone on many dates with really cute guys who are great catches, but I just wasn’t into them. So don’t jump to conclusions and assume you did something wrong.

5. Your Words Matter
Men don’t cry over hurtful words, but they do get offended. So it’s important to always be nice on a date. Kindness is contagious and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. I certainly wouldn’t want to go on a second date with someone who hurt my feelings. Would you? Insults aren’t sexy, but compliments are. So, if you say something obnoxious to your date, don’t expect him to call you again.

Okay ladies, now that you know the main reasons why men don’t call you back, accept them and learn from them. There are plenty of other fish in the JDate sea.

Carly Spindel is a writer and hopeless romantic. Carly is a world traveler who has lived in Paris and London. She resides in New York and is currently looking for Mr. Right. You can learn more about her at www.carlysdatingchronicles.com
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5 Comments »

  • LIsa says:

    who cares if they don’t call back??? NEXT!!!:) Just means you got rid of one quick without all the hurt and endless disappointment. Better he go after one date then getting all emotionally attached to him

  • I am a man says:

    Here’s an honest list from a man:

    1) We simple forgot. I don’t mean forever, but a few days go by and other (non dating) parts of our life take over. All of a sudden it’s 3,4, 5 days later and our experience tells us that if we are to call we will be made to feel either like we committed some capital crime or that you (women) could care less.

    2) We lost your number. Men do that sometimes…would it hurt you (women) to try calling us if the vibe was certainly there? The author calls us simple…while I don’t 100% agree, I don’t think it is that hard to figure out if we were having a great time also.

    3) You (women) played too hard to get. Yes we want a challenge but don’t make it seem like you are disinterested. As a man I have to say that a good number of women who claim they “hate playing games” tend to be the best at them.

    4) We don’t know what to say. You know that guy who never does anything but talk about themselves? Well for us we have the woman who never tells us a single thing about herself. It is entirely possible to have a date that is fun and shows the promise of chemistry without learning a single thing about the other person. The call after the first date is supposed to be a little more intimate (not overboard, but at least a showing of some familiarity). This issue many times leads to a similar situation as point one as all of a sudden it is days later and we still haven’t figured out what to talk about next. P.S. please don’t do the exact opposite though…we like some mystery (some men like it a lot) and quite honestly telling us too much too soon can freak us out.

    5) Well there is the obvious…we just didn’t like you. It happens and I guess I’ll apologize for all men if we ever gave you the vibe that we did when we didn’t. But do you really want us to call, after just one or two dates, to tell you that? Sure, we could make up some excuse but whatever we say would be BS and we know you (women) are certainly more than smart enough to know that.

  • Jo says:

    May I site another reason, went out recently with a gorgeous man, he asked for a second date, it went very well, chemistry, laughs all good, when it came to dropping me home he didn’t ask for a third date!! All I can say is, I ticked all the boxes (I know because he told me) except I wasn’t shomer shabbat – that’s a biggie and there aint no way around it.

  • Doralee Sabol says:

    Why don’t men call back?????? Well, I think sometimes, they want to meet you, but perhaps are set in their way from being divorced so long.
    They don’t always tell you the truth if they are seeing someone or not.
    I don’t expect……………..but it would be nice to meet a “Mensch”
    who isn’t so into himself, that he barely asks you anything about yourself. Why don’t men call back………………..only they know the answers. It can be anything from: not being attracted, don’t find the chemsitry their, just as one guy told me, “Shopping.” I hate that expression. We are not clothes, furniture, shoes; we are human beings guys.
    I believe their are so many reason they don’t call back………………maybe they are afraid of getting involved again.
    I know this sounds crazy, but I believe men, as well as women are very
    caucious the second or third or even first time around. You never know what is going through their mind, only they do. One guy kissed me on the lips and said I’ll call you. I knew that he wouldn’t as we did n’t
    have one laugh throughout the lunch. I can read between the lines very
    well, at 55 I better be able to. Oh well, he is missing out on a great lady, but I belive he already has a lady.

  • diane says:

    I believe Carly Spindel makes a few good points about why men don’t call back, but her list is incomplete. I also believe a man, not a woman, should be writing an article about why men don’t call back…She’s the wrong species to be covering this topic.
    Other reasons men don’t call back (as quoted by men I know) are the following: Number 1- He is not sexually attracted to you. He may think you are cute, ‘not too bad looking’ or could have been completely not attracted at all, but if he can’t see himself sexually intimate with you, you’re not getting a call back. Reason #2 – Either he’s not in your league or your not in his. Men sum you up…The way you dress, speak, your education, background, your job, etc. If he feels he’s out of your league and won’t be able to provide you with the lifestyle you are accustomed to, he’s not going to call you again as his ego gets in the way of making that next call. The same applies if a man feels you are not in his league (some men have no issue on this, but some do…)
    If he’s flown around the world twice, speaks 2 different languages, etc.
    and you’ve never been out of New Jersey, you may not be getting a call back because he feels you will not relate well to one another. Men cite women as being more guilty of this type of snobbery, and I would have to agree with them…
    I hope the above helps to complete the list of why men don’t call back…

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