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Still Hot, Why Not?

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You were a stunning 20-year-old princess with men of all ages falling at your feet. He was a pimply 21-year-old geek with bad breath and a serious shortage of dates.

You sat across the aisle from each other in college. He dared to shoot you the awkward look of yearning. You barely looked back.

But that pimply geek was smart. He became a doctor.

Now, he’s a single 61-year-old surgeon with a home in Riverdale and a second home in Boca Raton. You are a 60-year-old woman with an apartment in Brooklyn and a neck that’s starting to think it’s a necklace.

Who’s not looking at whom now? Ah, how the table doth swivel.

So, here I am today. Out in the hazardous shark (35 year old single women) infested waters, with my posse of similarly desperate—I mean desirous—girlfriends, standing on the courthouse steps throwing ourselves at men going through divorce. We don’t do that. We hang out at funerals, offering home-made kishke to the widowers. Ha ha just kidding! Who makes kishke from scratch? Do you know a place to pick up some cow intestines?

We may be desperate, but we’re still proud. That’s why most of us live celibately for eight, nine years in a row; ten in the case of my girlfriend (code name) Sheila. But let me say for the record right now:

WE WANT LOVE. WE WANT SEX. WE WANT, at the very least, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cuddle upon, a friend to confide in, a lover to grow old(er) with, and a key to that house in Boca Raton.

So, starting today, for the sake of women everywhere, I will bare my soul, my quest and, if you ask nicely and are single and still alive, my bosoms, as I reveal the true story of STILL HOT, WHY NOT? A Girl over 50 (60, truth be told) Tries to Find Love.

Diana Amsterdam is a published and produced playwright, screenwriter, scribe and branding guru; a single mom and grandmother of five exceptional children.

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48 Comments »

  • Mike says:

    Michele; Just a comment on reality. You say your 55 and going with someone 34 and men in their 30′s and 40′s are the ones mainly interested in you. Either you enjoy living in your fantasy world and preoccupied with romantic delusions or it is your form of reality. Younger men only go for older women for sex and mothering. And when your breasts sag further down and he goes on his way then maybe you will get it.

  • Well, I’ve heard such stories, so I know they are true. But you, Still Hot and his mother and a new relationship. Oh my gosh! I am glad you made such a wise decision so early into the relationship. Though I assume there was pain, your self-assurance and outlook are so positive that you continue to inspire strength. Keep it going for all those people (like me) who need such inspiration (and aspiration). Thanks Diana Amsterdam for more of “Still Hot Why Not.” Judith

  • Rico says:

    I think Rachel makes an interesting point, and yes, there is just a hint of shallowness in the article. However, I think the author was just using humor and sort of laughing at herself about how she has paid a price for that somewhat shallow choice in college, i.e., that pimply geek that went on to become a doctor.

    Who among us (especially here) has no regrets about love choices made and opportunities missed earlier in life that have led us to this point in our lives trying to find true love again. I think back on that nerdy Jewish girl that used to bake me cookies and brownies for my birthday that I tossed aside for a prettier, more poised (but less honest) shikse who in turn tossed me aside after her objectives had been met. Now I look around and I can’t find anyone like the brownie girl again. If they’re that nice, they’re usually happily married also.

    I would caution against making judgements about people without money as being unmotivated or un-interesting. That’s silly, really. What about academics who do research and make great discoveries – they may never be financially rewarded like the guy who runs a chain of payday loan stores charging usurious interest, but who would you rather have a conversation with? Maybe someone sacrificied their own chance for success so that they could take care of a family emergency or be the wind beneath someone elses wings. As a somewhat successful person myself, I am more interested in ‘who’ people are and what they have accomplished than how much material wealth they have accumulated. Gaddafi makes a lot of money too.

    Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who wants me for my money and not for who I am? Actually I think Rachel is a catch :)

  • Jan says:

    I was forty-one when I got my divorce,and I never dated men that were in their sixties even though I got invitations.I dated men a few years older than myself then, and I still do. The fact that this column exists only gives mature men a sense of entitlement that harkens back to Hugh Hefner, who has recently been left before the altar,by the smartest playmate that ever dated him! So I don’t know where all of these younger women are coming from that want to have relationships with men old enough to be their fathers…but I don’t think they’re in great supply. I wanted to be a balerina but I was too short…so I went on to a career at which I could excel.Eventually many of these men will revert back to women with whom they can be comfortable.

  • Mary says:

    I’ve been introduced to an older man who had cancer and was told by a mutual friend that he was looking for a younger woman. I go dancing weekly and see the older men asking really young women to dance. I have been asked by much older men or much younger men to dance.

    After reading peoples comments, I won’t hesitate to ask a younger man to dance with me.

    I was in a relationship with someone about my age 60, but I had to end it after he told me that a “friend” was staying with him for two weeks. He was also scouting dating sites to see if he could find someone better. After almost a year of continuous dating, he surprised me by telling me he didn’t love me and was looking for more. When I asked him what love meant to him, he said it was sparks flying–that he experienced it twice before in his life. He had me, someone educated, had a good job, was a great match for him personality wise, and most importantly I loved and cared for him.
    None of that mattered.

    I think there are good, available men out there, it takes patience to find one. As was already said, just find something you really enjoy doing — have fun in the meantime. I am happy and feel self-worth which is not dependent on having a man in my life.

  • linda says:

    Question:
    Why are all the men in the 60-75 age bracket looking for Barbie dolls? Then, they complain that Barbie does not answer them back. They need to take a qick spin on the reality train. When you see a nice looking gentleman with not the most perfect woman and ask “What does he see in her?” it might meaan that he looked below the surface,found her charming and intelligent. And visa versa. Remember Marilyn Monroe’s line in the Seven Year Itch about the quite guy in the corner? You want proof of this: Henry Kissinger and his wife, Allen Greenspan and his wife probably you next door neighbor and her husband. On and On. So men, give up on the Barbie doll, and women give up on Paul Newman. Intelligent and charming go a lot further.

  • Earther18 says:

    As a woman over 60 who is often told I look 20 years younger, I gotta respond. I’m hot, why not? But the truth is men my age probably can’t match my libido. They need enhancement drugs, they want younger women to make them feel younger and they want to be cooked for. Ok I’m generalizing but it’s based on what I’ve seen. My last relationship was with a man 19 years younger who was smart, educated, attractive, attentive and sexy as hell. But I left him for a dear friend with whom I became intimate in spite of the similarity in our ages. The author of the story shared here implies, no states we women of a certain age are desperate but I don’t see it. There is no reason to wait celibately for “mister knight” while refusing to settle for “mister right now” because we have options. The trick is to honestly evaluate what you want, negotiate with yourself for alternative possibilities and strategize how to get there. Then relax, enjoy being alive and get involved with living it. Happiness could possibly be in your backyard.

  • Debs says:

    Well I just love your comments – so funny!!! – I have to say I am 70+ healthy and fit and active and as you call it – yes? HOT!! I have met some great people on this site and I suppose it is a great compliment that so many younger men write to me but some of them are younger than my own sons! So to me it just doesnt feel right. As for the gent who mentions going dutch on the first date – well its a sad beginning if he cant afford a glass of wine or a coffee – it doesnt have to be dinner to chat and find out if you are compatable, I cant really agree with that, but certainly anything after that seems o.k. and the thing to do – especially if you discuss the situation before meeting. – The keys to his holiday flat????? I think that is pushing it a bit ladies!!
    Thanks for such entertaining columns!!!

  • Andrew says:

    I like your style: upbeat, funky, suffiently self-deprecative to be bone fide Jewish.

    A bit of a back-refernce to Rachel’s comment about money: In North America money is not merely a tool to promote trade. Wealth is a measure of a man, and this is a reality, not a subject of judgement by individuals. This is how it is. Any further arguments are redundant.

    So wishing for a man with money is natural in North America, in the English speaking North America. It means status, accomplishedness. It means that the man had put in the work in his lifetime, he had paid his dues, to earn the privilege to date someone like our celebrated author of the article here.

    The money thing on this continent does not reflect shallowness or skewed judgement. It is just an integral part of the culture, very innocnently and unassumingly.

    P.s. I am a poor person, don’t get a cow. I live on welfare, I don’t drive, and haven’t taken a vacation in 20000 years. It seems.

  • Harvey Black says:

    Wading into such an emotional charged area-is akin to fools rushing in where angels-or at least sane people-might fear to tread.
    Recriminations, insults, insinuations are always possible.
    Nevertheless, here I am.
    At sixty -seven years of age, I weigh what I did in college, have a wide range of activities, have supported myself for the past 17 years as a freelance writer (Social Security and a pension adding to the mix for the past few years), and have Ph.D. in psychology.
    I am hardly interested in women of the previous generation.I don’t relish the thought of explaining Watergate or the Vietnam War to anyone.
    Yet I often find it quite difficult to get a response from women.
    One woman, in her early sixties, with whom I recently spent a pleasant afternoon with, following meeting on JDate and speaking on the phone several times, simply stopped responding to my phone calls and emails.
    Other women have simply ignored messages I sent via JDate.
    Yes, one reads of men behaving boorishly, but neither sex has monopoly on that.
    I would like all the things that women here say that want-a relationship,physical and emotional intimacy, and a shared life.
    One other thing.
    It seems that many women have an inappropriate sense of entitlement. I refer to expecting the man to bear the expense of a first date.
    This is the 21s century. If both people are gainfully employed or receiving a pension, or otherwise have disposable income, expenses should be shared. I can think of no rational reason for not doing so.
    OK fire away.
    Harvey

  • Melissa says:

    I think the culture is pretty creepy. Some of the ugliest guys are obsessed with age when they are fat, bald , and not even attractive- and have a sense of entitlement based on ignorant notions about age. It’s not really age that’s important – it’s health. Some people don’t take care of themselves and look old and bad as a result. In the end people who live for superficiality only end up alone and with empty lives.

  • Melissa says:

    This is an interesting section. I think people should judge people as individuals but mostly look at categories, stats, and make lots of assumptions about a person according to a number.

    Some people let themselves go when they are younger whereas there are older people who are in great shape and don’t fit their age at all.

    Sometimes people feel superior to those who are older than them. What a strange culture. It must come from liberalism, which is related to group think.

  • Melissa says:

    I think a lot of people are so focused on an age number because our society is screwed up. Age elitism is sad because some people don’t fit the stereotype or stats.

  • David says:

    Dear Diana

    Your comment about hanging out at funerals…to find men had me rolling on the floor laughing.

    A bit of advice, I have not done very well trying to meet women at funerals or when they just go divorced…seems their minds are on other things.

    Enjoy your writing.

    David
    Southfield, MI

    PS Wish you were closer.

  • Lois Goldberg says:

    I thought age didn’t matter – at least I told myself that. My husband of blessed memory was 25 years older than me. At the age of 57 I found myself alone and scared at the thought of navigating the single scene, but I was one of the fortunate ones. I met a man 12 years my junior for whom the age difference was not a problem. I am finding that is rare. Most men are looking for someone younger. They don’t know what they could be missing. Just ask my BF.

    Sixty and still hot.

  • judy says:

    Just remember that 60 year-old man with the house in Boca Raton is trying to appeal to a 40 year-old woman who wants marriage and children tomorrow. Of course, he doesn’t think about that until he’s already so involved he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. So he get another mortgage, diaper duty, grown kids who think he’s an idiot and are worried she’ll get the money, and the ability to work another 15-20 years to support all of that.

    Personally I think younger men are the answer. They may not be perfect but they appreciate that we’ve already had everything and now just want companionship, sex and fun. And you don’t have to deal with a 50 something guy with sexual issues who is afraid that Viagra may do to him what the commercials say it could.

    Would that be so terrible?

  • Ms. J. says:

    Am I bad? I’m 54; my last two boyfriends are, respectively, 45 and 39. They didn’t want to be “left” but I did the leaving. In comparison, a 56 year old I dated for awhile was much more critical and unaccepting of me. Re. celibacy, the two youngsters have given me standing offers (if you know what I mean). So, the word desperate has little meaning to me. Ladies, stop wasting your time with the ole geezers, and let the younger ones give us the love and admiration we so deserve!

  • carole says:

    Funny, after reading the above—I am in my mid 70′s and am amazed at how many men in their mid and late 70′s that i have gone out with that
    are looking for women 20-30 years younger. They claim they are much tyounger looking than their real age….very vital,healthy,handsome,wealthy(who cares)… are completely deceptive in what they want. I have spent from 3hour dinners to a dates that started with lunch and went on to a dinner and a nice evening, or so I thought, to be told,,,,they thought I was great looking and figure but, they really wanted a younger woman. Give crazy remarks, so why did they spend sooo much time with me?, I would have been happy to go home and not be led on. I’ve had two romances in the last year and half since I lost my husband, and each one used the most ludicrous excuse for retreating. Honesty would help, and frankly, their are things that should be discussed, and I certainly try that. Its’ their way or the highway. I’ll just hang our and enjoy until Mr.Special comes along-no settling for these jerks.

  • Kathleen says:

    As a woman who has been single now for several years (after an engagement gone awry) I too have found that men I am interested in want women who are about 10 years younger than they are. I prefer men to be younger than me because the men I have met who are older want to just sit around and do nothing. They say they dance, but they won’t take me dancing, they say they are not couch potatoes, but that is what they like to do. Sit around.
    I have met some really nice men, but they wind up adding themselves to my “just friends” list. Gee, just what I need, another male friend. I am still looking for the man who actually is sincere in his search for a woman and a long term relationship.
    I am a professional woman who has worked many years with men in industry and government and am combortable in my life. I look for a man who has a home, a good job and knows how to open doors and treats women with respect. Not all women are looking for a wealthy man, wealth comes in many forms, not just in income alone or how many houses he owns.

  • Jackie says:

    Ellen

    I like that you are targeting a particular audience of women. However, to use the word “desperate” or cater to promote that way of thinking only feeds into the sel-serving, sexist male myth that women “of a certain age” are not marketable dating-wise. Feeding into that mindset is a killer.

    We need to become empowered in our thoughts and embrace our positivity as part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle which only enhances a good self-image, and therefore good dating options at any age.

    I am still desirable and desirous and plan on remaining so.

    Jackie

  • Michele says:

    Hi Ellen – I think that you should have met up with the guy. And Jill – my experience has been excellent in terms of getting responses from men my age and younger (I’m 54). I think it has a lot to do with how you word your profile, and how sassy your initial approach is. If you’re confident and feel sexy, that will show, and you’ll get the replies.

  • Jill says:

    As a newcomer to JDate I was excited about the possibilities. Isn’t there anyone in their 50′s and 60′s who is finding this a positive experience? 50+ men have viewed me, but only 3 tried to contact me. Seems like the men I am interested in do not reply to me. I wonder if men in my age bracket really want to hook up. Seems like if you are not tall, athletic and slim they don’t want to know who you are? Maybe it’s been too cold and snowy a winter, Any hope for the Spring? :-)

  • Ellen says:

    Enjoyed reading all the comments.

    My 6 month (first-time) ever try on a dating site will expire in March. Don’t think I will renew? Have not been successful.

    Both of my sons in their 30′s found love and met their wives thru J Date, (my encouragement and inspiration).

    I am 65 1/2 yrs old (look 10 yrs younger) very active, but the NUMBER will always be with me and am divorced 11 years.

    It appears that J Date older men, for the most part, do want a much younger woman to feel good, young and a sense of achievement, in their later years.

    But many of these older men are not active in mind, body and spirit that I have encountered, which have been less then a handful.

    A 34 year old local grad student did send me numerous emails to meet-up. I thought it was a joke or a dare by his friends to him? I said, “I am old enough to be your mother and have sons your ages”, he kept trying to pursue the situation………I let it go as a waste of my time.

    I have had many years living alone and taking care of myself by my self, enjoying life’s pleasures and the gratitude for good health and 2 wonderful adult sons.

    Like Mick Jaggger sings, “You can’t always get what you want!”

    I have learned thru the years that “It is better to be Single than Sorry”, a wonderful book written by Jen Scheft, which I recommend to all of you who are in or out of a relationship.

  • Michele says:

    I’d like to add to my previous comment by saying that I think that it’s good to be receptive to men as individuals, and to have no “shopping list” whatsoever, whether it be a second home in Florida or even someone who is “equal” to oneself. Equal in what way? Education? Money? Professional success? Who cares? At this stage in our lives, women in their 50s and 60s are not looking to have a family or to nest. Why not enjoy our lives, with whomever we find it enjoyable to spend time? And, as it happens, that attitude is the biggest turn on to most of the men I’ve ever met. Who wants to feel they’re being judged against a shopping list?

  • Michele says:

    Curiously, I’m 55 and have found that most of the men interested in me the past few years have been in their 30s and 40s. I’m currently involved with a man of 34. That generation of men seem far more interested in women as people, whatever their age, and then live more in the moment. I know I’m not the only one who is having this experience.

  • Linda says:

    So great to know I am not alone…..thanks for making it funny..look forward to more posts.

  • Renee Armand says:

    I had to laugh. I was given a 3 month subscription to a – supposedly – high end dating site by sweet friends after a suitable amount of time had passed after the death of my last husband. The four men who flew in to meet me were all very odd, and they talked compulsively about their prostate problems. There I sat, still beautiful, still wild-hearted, still alluring, looking around to see who the hell they were speaking to. That was three years ago; now I’m 65 and two romantic relationships later, and my yearning (which sounds and feels much better to me than search or need) has opened to encompass much more than another husband. It goes to the Escort to the Beloved, as Trebbe Johnson calls it. However that one appears, it is not about loneliness until he shows up. It’s about – for me – working at what I love, passionately engaging and diving into the world around me, remembering to ask for guidance all along the Path, gratitude for whatever is, and laughing. Joy is inside of you. And everyone is attracted to that. Trust your joy. Nurture your joy. It makes you irresistible. And don’t give up and don’t give in. You all sound fabulous!

  • Carol says:

    I’ll have to be a surprise as all I know how to do is email on this bloody thing. Until I find someone to download my picture you will just have to do with a description……..I am a pleasent surprise…………

    5’5″ 158lbs.
    Reform Jew, non practicing
    Widowed
    Brown hair
    Brown eyes
    Not bad looking at 54 if I do say so myself. I am
    building a new life looking for direction and love in life. I lost my family in Alaska where i have resided for the past 22 years. I am wanting to start a new life no bagge. I am good with both children and the elderly or disabled. I’m not the quickest in the bunch, but given a chance, I have a good sense of humor which I am trying to cultivate always. I want to learn more about the computer. I can be trained. I love to read walk, play music, anything but heavy metal or rap.I love staying busy cooking is my favorite. I love animals. i enjoy just staying home watching a movie. But also like to dine out when appropriate. I have a very green thumb and no where yet to use it. A garden is a goal of mine. Indoor hydroponics maybe. I just need the space. Mostly just like to simply laugh and live life to the fullest. I have traveled extensively and look forward to more travels in life.
    I have a cat, Lucky is his name. He’s got to be over 22 years old and chipper as ever. I love be the care giver in the family. Money is good, but not the most important thing on earth. I choose not to drive after being hit by 2 moose and living to tell about it. Alaska is a wild land but I’m looking for conventional steady, a grounded relationship. Simple and full of self made joy.

  • Ina Raye says:

    I agree with what Diana says about 60ish women and the men we, as accomplished, intelligent, attractive women expect to date. We are not looking for money, as was misread, I believe, by many of the repliers. but we are looking for men who are our equal and see us in the same way. We also have to deal with 60ish (many really 70ish or more) that are still “players.” I keep saying that “It just takes one – good one” but where I am now in my life, what I desire, and what I deserve. makes me wonder if I’d just better get used to being on my own. I would love to share with a man…but a good one sure is hard to find.
    Keep up this great column and as a 60ish woman I believe, as Diana seems to that there is someone “to grow old with me…the best is yet to be.”

  • Ronni Wadler says:

    I love it , Diana. I’ve been a widow for 3 years (married for 30, happily) and at this dating thing now for 1 year. OY! I too have had the 500 “Who’s been checking you outs” (wait, it was 499 and then 500 and then back to 499, someone took their look back!) I too am intelligent, funny, (too) well educated and attractive. And 60 ish. Is it too much to ask for the same in a man? In California? I’m a transplanted New Yorker, maybe it is too much to ask. Not giving up quite yet.

  • Hedie says:

    There is no me without you! When and where will I meet my match? I did give the key back to a lovely apartment in Boca, walked away from a membership to a fancy golf club and more. I left a man who turned out to be a sour lemon, hoping to trade it for a better person.Less is more as the money doesn’t buy happiness. I am almost 60, have had more than 500 e-mails on the Jewish site, yet haven’t met the one. He is out there, I have to be patient, but it will happen as there is lid for every pot! If you are optimistic and open the doors, something good will come. Life is too short! I am a golfer, sporty, fit, slim, intelligent and beautiful, on the inside and out. Where is this man who also looks attractive, keeps himself relatively slim, is intelligent, fun and easy going? Oops, I forgot to list: Honest!

  • franny1850 says:

    Yes, this almost 52-year-old agrees with all of the above! And I’m getting emails from 60-65 year old men, but they don’t want to meet someone with a 15-year-old at home…The 52-year old men want someone 40-45. And while I am not focused in any way on material things, I need a prospective partner to be more than solvent, not to take care of me, but so I don’t have to take care of him financially. Finding someone who is Jewish makes all of this even harder…met several nice guys on another dating site, but my committment to meet a fellow MOT and my age is making this tough!

  • Ruth Sklar says:

    Lee, you are right on. This column really hits home also!

  • Lee says:

    Everything you said, Diana rings true. I was not the princess, just an average girl looking for love. Now I am 60 and fit, slim, look a lot younger than my age, and men my age are looking for the princess they longed for when they were the handsome football player. Now that their chest is closer to their stomach, they are trying hard not to do the comb over, they still think they are the football star and want that princess 10-20 years younger.

    I didn’t think it would be this hard to find love. I thought men, like women matured with age, wanted something real, a true partner. Not finding that to be true however. You are right WE WANT LOVE, WE WANT SEX, WE WANT TO SHARE LIFE WITH SOMEONE.

  • Unconventional conventional says:

    Diana,

    You got it right… mostly.

    When I was that princess, I was friendly with the pimply geeks. They were interesting… and REAL. But now, though those former geeks remember me fondly, they say they want someone sexy and unconventional. (By that I understand wild and crazy. And I missed my chance at being that.)

    I never imaged that six years after the divorce was finalized, I would be desperate just for someone pleasant to accompany me to concerts.

  • Diane Broda says:

    Sounds great for us seasoned and more beautiful than ever singles …

  • crose20652 says:

    I enjoyed the column. I don’t think Diane is looking for a doctor with two homes. She is just making light of the fact that she still has a pulse and desire for friendship and intimacy even this late in life. I feel the same. When your children have a better sex life than yourself, it’s time to get out there and starting having fun again.

  • lovetolive says:

    I’ve read it all, & find validity in all your comments. The sad truth is that the 65ish year old men, don’t know what they are missing out on by ignoring we women of about the same age. It shouldn’t be just about age, but about personality, warmth, sexuality, spirit and a great desire to live. Interestingly, I have been contacted by quite a few men younger than myself, who are looking for just that. Men my own age, wake up, you are missing out on some great ladies.

  • Nancy says:

    I have to say that, as a widow well past 60, most men my age or generation ARE looking for women a lot younger than I am. This is somewhat exasperating, to say the least, but only mildly so. Fellow female seekers of love relationships, please remember that many women our age were reared with the notion, implicitly,or explicitly, that we were nothing without a man.

    We are important in our own right, and do not need a guy to complete us. Besides, the right guy is one that: 1)isn’t in denial about his own age, and 2)understands that age is merely a number, and has nothing to do with who you really are in terms of attractiveness, energy level, or attitude. In addition, I am not sure I want a guy who automatically looks elsewhere only because I have been honest about what year I was born. I am patient, try to keep my expectations realistic, and if I find someone I really like, so much the better. But if I don’t, I figure it’s their loss.

  • Cee says:

    Thank-you Diana. It’s about time this site finally expanded its content to address the trials, tribulations, hopes and desires of the over-50. And with a sense of humor to boot. Kudos.

  • Arline says:

    Right on, Diana! But what now? Those men who are the right age for me are somewhat unrealistically seeking to meet women 20 or more years their junior. Okay, maybe the 61 year old doctor with 2 homes has a shot at a woman of 40 but is she going to want him for him or for what he brings with him? And is he going to want young children at home again? I find it interesting and discouraging that so many, many men on JDate self report as being 65 years old. Can there really be so few remaining single men over 65? Hey guys, look in the mirror or at your photos! I’m sure that most of us, male and female, would like to recapture our youth, but let’s get real and have a chance at finding a successful relationship!

  • Lucy says:

    Ironic, isn’t it, that 20-something year old guys are now interested in older women, but the guys our own age sometimes are not. I wish there was a way to have a jdate profile without age being one of the essential factors in a search. what if they just left that off for a week and we were taken at “face value,” for who we are, not what number of years we have.

  • Michael says:

    You sound wonderful. If you’re ever in Ft. Lauderdale get in touch. 60 something widower, father of 3 and grandfather of 9 geniuses.

  • Jerry says:

    Rachel missed the hand/shoulder/friend/lover parts of the wish; she is the one focusing on the financial side when it is just one of a set of interconnected desires. I (69 yo happily married husband, father, grandfather) enjoyed the column and hope to read more.

  • Susan says:

    Rachel – You are either under 40, widowed by an extremely wealthy man or independently wealthy.

    The author is merely pointing out that if you are an average single woman of a certain age, while love, romance and companionship are what you crave, you are not looking for another mouth to feed. When you became single again, you were put through financial trauma either by divorce or death. You went from being totally secure with few fiscal worries to being completely responsible for the kids AND the bills in an instant. No one in their right mind would volunteer to do that again.
    Who looks for a man in his 50s, 60s who has not done anything with his life? Is that an interesting person? Is that a healthy person? Sad perhaps but like the geek in college, not someone you aspire to be involved with.

    So you can save the dream for a young man who hasn’t made his mark on the world yet With an older man, you get what you get.

  • Berry says:

    This column is hysterical, and so true – I bet you’ll get some proposals of marriage, Diana.

  • rachel says:

    You sound money minded – you dont mention whether he is a good kind man- you mention that he has two homes and what you are looking for is a key to that house in boca raton! i dont mean to be rude , but just letting you know you come across as money minded. would you be okay with a 60 year old blue collar guy who has an apt in brooklyn across the hall from you without a second home for the summer or winter? if the answer is no to that question, then my point is correct.

  • peter says:

    great fun and sounds very real

    cheers peter

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