Still Hot, Why Not?
You were a stunning 20-year-old princess with men of all ages falling at your feet. He was a pimply 21-year-old geek with bad breath and a serious shortage of dates.
You sat across the aisle from each other in college. He dared to shoot you the awkward look of yearning. You barely looked back.
But that pimply geek was smart. He became a doctor.
Now, he’s a single 61-year-old surgeon with a home in Riverdale and a second home in Boca Raton. You are a 60-year-old woman with an apartment in Brooklyn and a neck that’s starting to think it’s a necklace.
Who’s not looking at whom now? Ah, how the table doth swivel.
So, here I am today. Out in the hazardous shark (35 year old single women) infested waters, with my posse of similarly desperate—I mean desirous—girlfriends, standing on the courthouse steps throwing ourselves at men going through divorce. We don’t do that. We hang out at funerals, offering home-made kishke to the widowers. Ha ha just kidding! Who makes kishke from scratch? Do you know a place to pick up some cow intestines?
We may be desperate, but we’re still proud. That’s why most of us live celibately for eight, nine years in a row; ten in the case of my girlfriend (code name) Sheila. But let me say for the record right now:
WE WANT LOVE. WE WANT SEX. WE WANT, at the very least, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cuddle upon, a friend to confide in, a lover to grow old(er) with, and a key to that house in Boca Raton.
So, starting today, for the sake of women everywhere, I will bare my soul, my quest and, if you ask nicely and are single and still alive, my bosoms, as I reveal the true story of STILL HOT, WHY NOT? A Girl over 50 (60, truth be told) Tries to Find Love.
Diana Amsterdam is a published and produced playwright, screenwriter, scribe and branding guru; a single mom and grandmother of five exceptional children.Email this post