Comments on: When Your Friend Has No Taste http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2011/06/when-your-friend-has-no-taste/ Where celebrities, experts and JDaters come to kibitz! Thu, 23 May 2013 13:53:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: NimChimsky http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2011/06/when-your-friend-has-no-taste/comment-page-1/#comment-13532 NimChimsky Tue, 21 Jun 2011 22:03:59 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=24591#comment-13532 From experience, I can tell you that telling the person how you really feel about her partner is not the way to go. I have been in the same situation twice. The first time I told my friend how I felt just before she was planning to get engaged, and I lost a friend. The couple is divorced now, but no amount of reaching out on my part has been able to mend what was broken. I suppose she doesn't want the evidence that she had a choice and made the wrong one to be around her all the time, and I can't blame her. I miss her, but if our situations were reversed I believe I would have acted much the same as she. So when the same scenario arose with another friend, I took the other route. I smiled and congratulated her and was in her wedding party. We drifted apart, mostly because I didn't like spending time with her husband. But two years later when she got divorced (because yes, you're right, a person's friends are usually better judges, and so these marriages will generally end in divorce) we rekindled our friendship and it is as strong as ever. Once she asked me if I knew it would end badly and I told her of course. She thought for a minute and then said that it was a good thing I never said anything, because she would never have spoken to me again, no matter what a jerk her husband turned out to be. I strongly urge you to keep silent and let things turn out as they will. From experience, I can tell you that telling the person how you really feel about her partner is not the way to go. I have been in the same situation twice. The first time I told my friend how I felt just before she was planning to get engaged, and I lost a friend. The couple is divorced now, but no amount of reaching out on my part has been able to mend what was broken. I suppose she doesn’t want the evidence that she had a choice and made the wrong one to be around her all the time, and I can’t blame her. I miss her, but if our situations were reversed I believe I would have acted much the same as she.

So when the same scenario arose with another friend, I took the other route. I smiled and congratulated her and was in her wedding party. We drifted apart, mostly because I didn’t like spending time with her husband. But two years later when she got divorced (because yes, you’re right, a person’s friends are usually better judges, and so these marriages will generally end in divorce) we rekindled our friendship and it is as strong as ever. Once she asked me if I knew it would end badly and I told her of course. She thought for a minute and then said that it was a good thing I never said anything, because she would never have spoken to me again, no matter what a jerk her husband turned out to be.

I strongly urge you to keep silent and let things turn out as they will.

]]> By: viva http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2011/06/when-your-friend-has-no-taste/comment-page-1/#comment-13421 viva Mon, 13 Jun 2011 16:02:50 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=24591#comment-13421 Thank you for writing this. You did a great job of expressing what so many of us are thinking. Thank you for writing this. You did a great job of expressing what so many of us are thinking.

]]> By: nerdyand nice http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2011/06/when-your-friend-has-no-taste/comment-page-1/#comment-13302 nerdyand nice Sat, 04 Jun 2011 13:20:19 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=24591#comment-13302 Steve, I can't believe you don't know this but it is very hard for a decent woman to find a man that is her age and knows how to make her happy in bed. Your friend is not with this guy because he has money - you already said, she can support herself. She isn't with him for his intellect - she has you and other friends for that. She can always have a nice dinner with good conversation with her friends. But the most important thing that you can't give her, I am sure this guy you don't like, is giving her lots of, before she gets out of bed in the morning, to go to work. Men need a pretty face, women need more than the face. What you need to do, Steve, is give a lesson to the single men who don't understand why they can't buy love. they need instructions in the bedroom. I'm serious. Women learn all this from Cosmopolitan magazine before they walk out the door. The magazines for men don't teach them anything! they give them the pretty faces. Your next article should be asking all your single women friends how many men really know what they are doing in bed! I know what the answer will be. I'm looking forward to reading your research. thanks Steve,
I can’t believe you don’t know this but it is very hard for a decent woman to find a man that is her age and knows how to make her happy in bed. Your friend is not with this guy because he has money – you already said, she can support herself. She isn’t with him for his intellect – she has you and other friends for that. She can always have a nice dinner with good conversation with her friends. But the most important thing that you can’t give her, I am sure this guy you don’t like, is giving her lots of, before she gets out of bed in the morning, to go to work. Men need a pretty face, women need more than the face. What you need to do, Steve, is give a lesson to the single men who don’t understand why they can’t buy love. they need instructions in the bedroom. I’m serious. Women learn all this from Cosmopolitan magazine before they walk out the door. The magazines for men don’t teach them anything! they give them the pretty faces. Your next article should be asking all your single women friends how many men really know what they are doing in bed! I know what the answer will be. I’m looking forward to reading your research. thanks

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