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Still Hot, Why Not?

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Lover: We Mop the Same Way!

I rent a furnished house in the country for the month of July.  Little do I know that the owner, F, is an attractive middle-aged man.  I soon figure this out.  There are photos of F and his two grown kids all over the place.   He has an open face and a nice compact body and some hair, and a very warm smile.

Hey, I’m already sleeping in his bed.  I like the mattress.  I like the wall color: apricot.  I like the rug.  The level of tidiness; on a scale of 1 to 10 (1=piggy/sloppy, 10=anal/clean) he is about an 8.   Me too, F!

The food in the fridge is to my liking.  It’s all Trader Joes.   He doesn’t cook much.  He’s got the spice rack directly above the stove.  One greasy hand reaching for the paprika, and yeow! you’ve got spice jars in the frying pan.  I do cook.  See, we enrich each other’s lives, F!  And, I like his books.  I like the tomato plant.  I like so much about F’s house, I decide F and I are meant for each other. 

F asks me to have the place professionally cleaned when I leave.  I consider saving the cost by cleaning it myself.  (If you could see my apartment after my grandkids have been here, you’d know I’m no amateur at cleaning.)   But, I decide I am too old.   I call a cleaning service, and tell them they need to wash the floors.  Is there a mop in the house?  If not, they will buy one and I will have to pay for it.   I search high and low for a mop.  I write F and ask if he’s got a mop somewhere.  His reply:

I don’t have a mop.  I get down on my knees and wash the floors with a cloth and a basin of water. 

Oh my God! F AND I MOP THE SAME WAY!  Are we meant for each other (rhetorical question)? Because who does this?  Isn’t this one of those details that tells everything?  WE ARE COMPATIBLE.   Both humble, hard-working, self-effacing, look-dirt-in-the-eye kind of people! Who don’t like to waste money on mops! This confirms beyond a shadow of a doubt that F AND I ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER. 

I immediately email F, tell him the good news—that we mop the same way—and ask him out on a date.  Here is F’s reply:

Well!  There’s a question I didn’t expect. I’d like to meet you sometime when you’re up here, but I don’t think I want a “date.”  I haven’t been very interested in dating lately.

But…but…I stare at the monitor.  And take a deep breath.   Okay! I’ll rent his house again next summer.  Next time, I’ll bring a mop.

Diana Amsterdam  is a published and produced playwright, screenwriter, scribe and branding guru; and former ghost writer for the Emily Post Institute. She is the mother of two brilliant sons and five exceptional grandchildren.

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5 Comments »

  • LLL says:

    No offense – but the guy sounds like a loser – insensitive, unimaginative and cold. I would move on fast – including finding a different house to rent next summer. He doesn’t deserve your money and he especially does not deserve you as his maid cleaning his floor on you hands and knees. I hope you were kidding about that !! We all have to remember that we deserve to be loved, respected and cherished by any man in our lives. Rent may be negotiable – but that isn’t. Good luck. PS – While I don’t agree with women asking men out initially – you might have saved yourself some disappointment – if you asked if he dated before you asked him out.
    After the response you described – you might have said that you were asking for your friend ‘Kevin’ – who is single. With his response – he deserved a good quick in the ‘a__’ by your insinuating he was gay……………..

  • Ruth says:

    Brother! Just going through this now. After 1 and 1/2 years of talking daily on the phone, 4 or 5 weekend visits, he’s decided he is not interested in romance. He says it is his libido.I wish he would give romance a try….But I guess I’m too old to look for someone since most of them do not want a relationship! Depressing….

  • Diana says:

    Beth–I totally agree with you. Men love to conquer, they have that hunt instinct, and they savor that which they cannot get. I have been told, however, that many guys our age are happy hangin’ out in the back of the cave watching Lakers reruns, so, they may not be able to get it up, their courage for asking women out that is, and so sometimes, we can help a little. P.S. You must be very pretty.

  • Dave says:

    Now that was a fun and intriguing read!

    As to the one comment thus far, it seems like the author did not deserve such criticism or that which might be described as a sexist remark. I would rather give kudos to her for having the courage to ask the man out and to try to complete her dream and the building passion she envisioned or hoped to become a reality.

    Langston Hughes: “Hold onto dreams
    For if dreams die
    Life is like a broken-winged bird
    That cannot fly.”

    The woman in the story was holding onto her dream; she was trying to find love and should be rewarded for her brave heart as opposed to a closed or timid one – - – she is continuing her search for love, for a better day, for improvement in life, for bettering herself and all around her . . . Such a noble effort for love, a concept or event, or intangible, or total mystery for most of us, is something that transcends gender, and deserves a reward instead of punishment.

    What a wonderful and inspiring story and most revealing of inner thoughts that are too often overly protected, hidden, or scorned. Whatever challenges exist for mankind, on an individual or global basis, we must always yearn for love . . . and always hold onto dreams, and without action or an attempt to make good things happen, no dreams can ever become a reality.

  • Beth says:

    Thanks for sharing your story. Although I think and believe that a woman shouldn’t ask a guy on a date and wait for a guy to express his interest in any age group!

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