I agree with Mike 100%. If he doesn’t show you off to his family you are nothing but a sex buddy! You have got to read the book: “He is just not that into you” All the signs were so clear you would have never missed it if you read the book!! You did the right thing to end it. You always have a right to ask about the future and his answer was so clear – all that was missing was to end it with a big no. He was actually SO clear.

After reading this book, I know the first date if they are really interested, and then a few weeks later they all say the same thing if they want you. Men say and do the same things when they are interested. If you know it, you are in control… go read that book!

You’ve got to be kidding–you’re 58 and reacting to men much older than 68 as if you’re in danger of being stalked. I find so many women’s thinly-veiled complaints about guys paying attention to them to be the zenith of hypocrisy. Most women crave attention, and when you get it from guys who don’t fit your ideal, you kvetch about them. The complaining only makes the complainer look immature and self-centered.

I just ended a relationship with a man I met on Jdate and dated for 20 months. It was a long distance relationship, and we had different backgrounds and experiences. He was formerly in the military, and somewhat observant. He is a retired Conservative rabbi. Although i wasn’t observant, I observed all of his customs at his level of observance, such as keeping kosher and observing Shabbat. We got along great, but we never seemed to move forward. It was a year before I met his daughter, and he didn’t seem to want to include me in many aspects of his life.

Every year he has large Passover seders in his home, and after dating 18 months, told me he wasn’t comfortable having me come also. I was not invited! I was very hurt, and his only answer was that he wasn’t ready to “present” me to his family and friends. He also continued to log on to Jdate, to just “look” around”, even though I told him it hurt my feelings and felt disrespectful to me. We stopped seeing each other after that, but got back together a month later.

The last time I saw him I asked him if he thought our relationship had a future. I have reasons to doubt that after all the months of waiting for him to act like we’re a couple, and make room for me in his life. His answer was that he wasn’t optimistic, and he struggles to be hopeful. He said he wanted to continue to be together, and we could “wait and see”. I ended the relationship after that.

I feel terrible and miss him everyday. My heart isn’t in to the dating scene at all. I understand that not all relationships are meant to be, but I’m confused by the mixed signals he gives me. I talk to other people who tell me that he hasn’t treated me as well as I deserve, and that I should accept that whatever his issues are, they are his issues, and I should move on.

What do you think?

Thanks,
Confused in Florida