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Abigail and Howard: “My daughter uploaded the pictures [to JDate]…”

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A few years ago, my teenage daughter took several pictures of me. At the time, I was not familiar with uploading pictures from a camera or to the JDate website for that matter. My daughter uploaded the pictures and I looked at the site occasionally, but never really became familiar with how the website actually worked.

A couple of years passed. My daughter went away to college and I took up various hobbies, but was extremely lonely. All the while, since my pictures were uploaded, I received these email notices which I continued to delete without looking at them. One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting around my house looking at email on my iPhone® and saw one of the messages. I decided to click on the link to see what the message was about. Unfortunately, I was no longer a registered member, so I immediately pulled out my credit card and joined again.

Well, lo and behold, I had several messages and so called ‘Hot Lists.’ Reviewing the list, I discovered that two of the women had emailed me when I originally joined a few years back. I looked at each woman’s bio and decided to contact them. I emailed the first woman and said, “It’s Saturday afternoon, I noticed you lived nearby, how about meeting me at Starbucks®?” She wrote back she “doesn’t go out on dates without talking to the men on the phone first, and she could not go out with me until the Monday after next because of her son’s birthday and activities.” I became frustrated and wrote back saying “I was not interested in being slot dated for a lunch on a Tuesday.”

I then proceeded to email the next woman who had attempted to contact me over a few years.  She responded and we went out that night for dinner.  We actually went out a couple of nights and continued to chat and talk frequently. However, the first woman was sending me emails advising me that I have not called her yet and that she cannot go out with me until I call her on the phone. 

I wrote back and said, “Fine, give me your telephone number.” I received a reply email with her phone number. I immediately called the number and a man’s voice said, “Hello.” I asked for Abigail and immediately heard several male voices mocking and laughing at me while inferring that I had intentionally been given the wrong telephone number by a woman who wanted nothing to do with me.  I hit the call end button and was now quite frustrated. 

I decided I would send a text message to the number that was emailed me to see if I had the right number. Well, that didn’t turn out well either. I received several replies from the same guy mocking me even more.

So, I got back online and wrote Abigail about what had happened and explained to her that I had not been in the dating scene and that she should not have given me the wrong number. She immediately wrote back saying she was sometimes dyslexic and she had made a mistake. I called her on the phone and we chatted. Actually, I chatted with her 11-year-old son who, like me, was an avid basketball fan.  We decided to have lunch on the following Tuesday at a Jewish Delicatessen.

Tuesday morning arrived and I was not feeling like I was ready to date. I grabbed my phone while I was still in bed and quickly wrote a text to Abigail saying I was unable to meet her for lunch as I was just not ready to date. I tossed my iPhone and headed for my morning shower. Midmorning while sitting at my office desk, I reached for my cell phone to see if I had any messages.

When I woke my phone from battery saver mode, the message to Abigail popped up. I had never hit the send button so the message was never sent to Abigail. It was 11:30 in the morning and I realized that Abigail was going to be at the restaurant in 30 minutes and I was not going to be there. I felt bad, so I jumped in my car and raced to the restaurant cursing all the way that I was losing billable work hours going to lunch with a woman I didn’t even know.

I got to the restaurant and Abigail was not there. A few minutes later the most beautiful woman in the world came through the restaurant doors. Now, I was really nervous because she was someone I really wanted to be out with, but I had not dated in a long time. To compound matters, the restaurant was busy and the hostess put us at a very small table with another small table to the immediate left of me.  The neighboring table was so close that I could have eaten off the table. There was one person sitting at the table. She was a little Jewish woman old enough to be my mother. Now I was really uncomfortable having lunch with an incredible woman while sitting across from my mother. You can’t imagine how hard it is to show a personality and try to be enamoring to a beautiful woman in the presence of your Jewish mother.

Abigail and I walked out of the restaurant together. I was thankful that lunch with my mother was over, but sad that I was not able to spend more quality time with Abigail. We parted ways and while walking away, I said, “I would like to see you again.” I had no clue whether or not Abigail liked me or not and could have kicked myself for asking her out for another date. Little did I know, Abigail was as nervous as I was and did not know what to say.

Abigail and I went out on another date a few nights later. We could not stay out long because it was a school night and even though her son was with the nanny, she wanted to be home for his bedtime. The next day, Abigail asked me if I would be her date to her son’s school gala. It was during dinner that Abigail had asked to excuse herself from the table, when we had our first kiss. It was as magical as my vision of Abigail coming through the front doors of the restaurant. 

The rest is history as Abigail and I got married on March 27, 2011. I will always have the memory of my pretty girl walking through the door of the restaurant for the first time.

Abigail and Howard
Houston, Texas

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