http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/02/creating-transformation-in-practice-part-2/ Where celebrities, experts and JDaters come to kibitz! Fri, 24 May 2013 02:30:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/02/creating-transformation-in-practice-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-32081 Miriam Mendelson Tue, 28 Feb 2012 22:53:29 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=48751#comment-32081 Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mia. Your instincts are correct. If you are feeling like intervention is not a good idea - then, for you, it is not. This is very much a 'gut call'. It depends very heavily on what kind of vibes one gives out in a particular situation. If one is not sure of how to approach a situation constructively, or whether it is a situation that should be approaoched at all, then caution is prudent. However, keep in mind that there are often ways to intervene that don't directly involve one's own self at all - for example, calling the police when their is any concern or suspicion of danger to someone else. In future columns (and thanks for the reminder) I intend to speak about how one knows when a situation 'has your name on it' and what are ways to set proper boundaries against risk and over-interference (remember, it's about making a difference, not 'controlling the world'). Thanks again for sharing, and perhaps you will find that there are ways that you can make a difference in the lives of others without evoking a negative response - I hope so. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mia. Your instincts are correct. If you are feeling like intervention is not a good idea – then, for you, it is not. This is very much a ‘gut call’. It depends very heavily on what kind of vibes one gives out in a particular situation. If one is not sure of how to approach a situation constructively, or whether it is a situation that should be approaoched at all, then caution is prudent. However, keep in mind that there are often ways to intervene that don’t directly involve one’s own self at all – for example, calling the police when their is any concern or suspicion of danger to someone else. In future columns (and thanks for the reminder) I intend to speak about how one knows when a situation ‘has your name on it’ and what are ways to set proper boundaries against risk and over-interference (remember, it’s about making a difference, not ‘controlling the world’). Thanks again for sharing, and perhaps you will find that there are ways that you can make a difference in the lives of others without evoking a negative response – I hope so.

]]> http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/02/creating-transformation-in-practice-part-2/comment-page-1/#comment-30431 Mia Sun, 19 Feb 2012 15:51:21 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=48751#comment-30431 Having the courage to step in where others fear to tread is a delicate call. The older I get the more I realize that many people do not want and even deeply resent "interference." These are great examples of your own experiences that turned out well. I have a long list of experiences that did not turn out well, and I'm assuming you do, too. These days, I generally hesitate more than I did in the past, which is not necessarily a good thing, just a learned behavior. Your courage is inspiring. Having the courage to step in where others fear to tread is a delicate call. The older I get the more I realize that many people do not want and even deeply resent “interference.” These are great examples of your own experiences that turned out well. I have a long list of experiences that did not turn out well, and I’m assuming you do, too. These days, I generally hesitate more than I did in the past, which is not necessarily a good thing, just a learned behavior. Your courage is inspiring.

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