The Hora-Scopes: Your March Forecast on Life & Love
Mercury, the planet of communication, is currently in your sign, Aries, and it’s joining up with Uranus in the process. So basically, anything can happen – especially with that hot and fiery mouth of yours. Oh, she said it! Simmer down the hot temper, especially while Mercury is in retrograde motion starting on March 12th. And as it slowly makes its way back into imaginative Pisces, you will be feeling some real, internal inspiration. I’m talking the kind of inspiration that Adele songs were written from. Have you heard of her? Think they’ve played her on the radio once or twice. Back to the point, another heads up that with your ruling planet (Mars) still in retrograde motion, it’s not time to commit to that “project” yet (and by project I mean eligible JDates®). As much as you are an action oriented sign and like to make impulsive decisions, it’s simply only time to date, date, and date some more. And when these two planets go direct in April, you can choose which bachelor or bachelorette really does spark your fancy…bachelor/ette #2, will you accept this rose?
Taurus, you’re in luck! Yes, I know it’s usually Sagittarius that’s the lucky sign, however, in mid March when transiting Venus conjuncts Jupiter in your sign, expect a huge expansion with love and money. I know what you’re thinking…what’s the catch? Are you gonna make me eat gefilte fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner before this luck comes flying in the door? No. But if I said yes, it could have been funny to watch you do it. Anyway, the point here is that March is going to be a great month for you, especially because Venus is your ruling planet! I can’t wait to see what is going to come out of this…you may even win an Oscar. Oops too late for that, so just focus on the gefilte fish, and it basically can only go up from there! Mazel Tov!
Hello and shalom Gemini. (Will that ever get old? Nope.) Mercury, the planet of communication, which just so happens to be your ruling planet is going retrograde, aka backwards on March 12th. (Oy backwards?? But we just learned how to go forward!) [Cue hand over eyes smiley]. This means two very important things: 1) let’s reschedule your plans of auditioning for The Voice to a later date and 2) you’ll have to ask one of the twins to hold the duct tape over your mouth while the other works on their charades skillzzz. Ummm, what? Yup! OK, the real story is from March 12th – April 4th it would behoove (love that word) you to hold off on signing any contracts, but if you have to, make sure you read the fine print. (Ahem). You never know what kind of hoopla you could be getting yourselves into. Although I’m sure one of you would like it, it may not be best for your long term goals of finding love and building your career. In the meantime, stick to your “Words with Friends” addiction – and keep the words G-rated…for now…
Cancer, time for some coffee talk…let’s discuss…with Mercury, the planet of communication, going retrograde on March 12th, it will be affecting your solar 10th house of career. Let me put it to you this way…after months of baking all those brownies for your boss and offering to pick their kids up and drive them around…it’s basically, well… time to keep doing that! Even though you’ve been trying to butter them up with all those Paula Deen recipes, it’s not yet time to ask for that big raise or promotion. (Oh, I see where you’re going with this…you’re actually trying to take their job while they’re home sick with indigestion. Got it!) Well, keep the snacks coming, especially until Mercury goes direct on April 4th. And until then, try not to blast them on Facebook. With Mercury in charge of communication when it goes retrograde, it’s not uncommon for mishaps to happen, and I don’t want to see you doing the walk of shame from the HR office…or from your ex’s house who you know you shouldn’t even be seeing in the first place. Hey, just trying to keep you employed and help you let go of your unhealthy attachment in the meantime. That’s what friends are for…keep smiling…keep shining….Someone please stop me before I end up in Chinatown doing Karaoke for middle-aged men with gold chains. No offense.
Hello to you, Leo! Unlike your neighbor above, your career is about to take off with Jupiter and Venus (luck and money) coming to a solar 10th house near you. While these two planets conjunct in your house of career, this could be a time when you get that raise that you KNOW you deserve. This is Leo we’re talking about here. You’re sexy and you know it! Also, this is an opportune time to focus on that career of yours and bring it to the next level. Huge expansion could be heading your way and I promise it to have more staying power than Snooki’s. High five!
Virgo, your solar 7th house of committed relationships is currently packed with transiting planets, and when Mercury moves back into Pisces during its retrograde period, it’s going to add another layer to the mix! This means your relationships could be high on your to do list right now. Wherever the planets are transiting is a clue to the lessons that we need to work on and with these planets opposing your natal sun the focus is going to be on balance – making sure your needs are met, as well as your partners. Code Red: Note that both Mars (planet of action) and Mercury (planet of communication AND your ruling planet) will both be retrograde until April 14th. In the meantime, work what your mama gave you, but don’t close the door to new opportunities that could be coming your way next month.
Libra, with the conjunction of Venus and Jupiter in your solar 8th house of intimacy, either your biggest nightmare or your biggest dreams are about to come true. Ok, that was a little bit dramatic even for my liking. Let me explain. Libra, being an air sign, you need your space. However, you are all about partnership, so you want someone there, but not necessarily all up in your biznatch 24/7, right? Well, with this beautiful aspect happening in your solar 8th house, you have the opportunity to take your relationship to a deeper level, one that you might not be so comfortable with. Remember though, Mercury is turning retrograde on March 12th, but karmically this is an important time. You may experience feelings you didn’t know you had, deeper feelings than an air sign is typically comfortable with. This is a good thing. We are all here to experience the full range of emotions, and now is the time to explore all that rises to the surface. Don’t worry, I’ll put the do not disturb sign on the door. Was that an Herbal Essence commercial or did you discover what this aspect could really mean??
Scorpio, just because Valentine’s Day has come and gone does not mean that love for you is out the door. Just the opposite, might I add. Venus and Jupiter will be making a conjunction in Taurus which just so happens to be in your solar 7th house of committed relationships. Key words: Love and expansion with your special someone? “You betcha!” This is an inspiring aspect that would even make George Clooney think about popping the question. Ladies, get excited. Men, don’t take me so literally, and stop running for the hills. You know it’s what you secretly want anyway. Time to accept the fact that you, Mr. Scorpio…yes you, are a hopeless romantic…even without any glasses of Manischewitz. L’chaim!
Sagittarius, I know how much you like to travel and explore, and with the influence of Uranus, the planet of revolution, change and unexpected surprises, (good ones only for JDate members…we made a deal) it’s a great opportunity for you to meet someone different, unusual, and perhaps even from another country! I know you’re always looking for an adventure, but may not want to be tied down just quite yet. Good news is Uranus likes to keep you on your toes. If anything, it may be you trying to keep up with this new and exciting person. Think of the possibilities. I’m already excited for you…Anyone else feel like dancing the Hora? Kidding, I scared you, didn’t I? Yes, I know…freedom is your middle name and you will find a partner who feels the same – it’s written in the stars.
Capricorn, this month there are a lot of opportunities happening in your solar 3rd house of communications, and even more so when Mercury turns retrograde and sashays its way back in there for a second visit. Aaaand action, take two! Hold up, wait just a minute, not so fast Mr. Mountain Goat (oxymoron anyone?) Anyway, with a cluster of planets in your solar 3rd house, they all happen to be in Pisces. Can we say bottleneck? Roadblock? Yes, this may feel a bit like you are stuck on the I-405, but more importantly, it may also feel a little too spacey for you since all these planets are in the emotional water sign of Pisces. Thankfully, oh earth sign, you always seem to have your feet planted so firmly on the ground. Take some time during the Mercury retrograde cycle (March 12th – April 4th) to gather your thoughts and ideas and use that time to plan your long-term strategy. Yes, even Old McDonald had to plan out his farm before he had his goat. Maaaahhh. (That was my goat interpretation, I hope you enjoyed it).
Aquarius, this is the month for you to really tap into that spiritual side of yours. I know some of you left brainers are thinking, me? Spiritual? No way! I’m an engineer or a scientist. Are you talkin’ to me? Yes, I’m talking to you! When Mercury (planet of communication) turns retrograde on March 12th and conjuncts with Uranus, (planet of revolution, sudden insights, and forward thinking) you have a huge opportunity to answer a lot of the questions that you’ve been recently asking yourself. It’s time to put Siri away and stop asking her the questions that you already know the answers to. You to Siri: “Do I believe this astrology lady or is she making this up?” Siri: “Yes, she is so witty and wise.” (Coming from Siri, not me!) Moral of the story, again, listen to your intuition, you know it’s always been right.
Happy birthday, Pisces! Guess what? Lots going on for you again! Yes, being a mutable sign that you are, you are always juggling many things at once. Mercury turns retrograde on March 12th and around March 23rd it will slide back into your sign. There has been a heavy Neptunian influence lately, meaning you’ve probably been feeling a bit like you’ve been in a fog. Not sure what I mean? Let me put it this way; you know when you overload on carbs and can’t move…well there you have it! It’s been a carb-heavy couple of months for you. I suggest you use this time wisely. You can either sit on the couch and fantasize about visiting planet Ork (just aged myself, big time) or you can tap into the abundance of creativity and inspiration that all Pisces have. Basically, it’s like sick days that don’t roll over…use it or lose it!