Comments on: The Dangers Of Serial Daters http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/ Where celebrities, experts and JDaters come to kibitz! Fri, 17 May 2013 23:42:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Pauline http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-93261 Pauline Thu, 13 Dec 2012 08:34:28 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-93261 @Jay I am just like you, it's called being a free spirit. Why so people assume that every conversation leads to something more when we are simply connecting to other human beings. This is society today. Madness @Jay I am just like you, it’s called being a free spirit. Why so people assume that every conversation leads to something more when we are simply connecting to other human beings. This is society today. Madness

]]> By: CH http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-82921 CH Sat, 17 Nov 2012 15:36:15 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-82921 I've recently had several women who appeared to have a good first date with me, they told me they wanted to see me again, and then about-faced and wouldn't tell me why. It's enough to make me wonder if someone (and here I'm thinking the JDate web people) had contacted them and passed on something about me to turn these women off. I'm wondering if a website would do this. I am not aware of any woman complaining about me and I have no reason to think that any would. But is it possible that the good folks at JDate would undermine the dating prospects of one of their paying subscribers?! I’ve recently had several women who appeared to have a good first date with me, they told me they wanted to see me again, and then about-faced and wouldn’t tell me why. It’s enough to make me wonder if someone (and here I’m thinking the JDate web people) had contacted them and passed on something about me to turn these women off. I’m wondering if a website would do this. I am not aware of any woman complaining about me and I have no reason to think that any would. But is it possible that the good folks at JDate would undermine the dating prospects of one of their paying subscribers?!

]]> By: jay http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-64061 jay Mon, 01 Oct 2012 16:21:57 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-64061 The other thing I find hysterical on dating sites, is, if a woman dates a guy and she goes to bed with him on the first date she is not to be trusted again or respected, but what is said of the guy?? Your advice is very one sided, not at all objective and I would expect a site like yours to give sound advice. If you wish to bash women it should be in private. There are people who are looking for someone special and move around date sites doing just that. There are men and women who are looking for sex. That is their choice so long as there is honesty in their approach to others, respect and move on. My advice would be to follow your own instincts, not look for the signs someone else has decided tell you someone is to be trusted or not. Surely it is the case that actions have consequences. If one is having a sexual relationship without first building a friendship then it is quite likely there will be possible problems later on. IT is like the bible says, do not build your house on sand, we all need stable foundations and it is so in relationships. The other thing I find hysterical on dating sites, is, if a woman dates a guy and she goes to bed with him on the first date she is not to be trusted again or respected, but what is said of the guy??

Your advice is very one sided, not at all objective and I would expect a site like yours to give sound advice. If you wish to bash women it should be in private.

There are people who are looking for someone special and move around date sites doing just that. There are men and women who are looking for sex. That is their choice so long as there is honesty in their approach to others, respect and move on.

My advice would be to follow your own instincts, not look for the signs someone else has decided tell you someone is to be trusted or not. Surely it is the case that actions have consequences. If one is having a sexual relationship without first building a friendship then it is quite likely there will be possible problems later on. IT is like the bible says, do not build your house on sand, we all need stable foundations and it is so in relationships.

]]> By: jay http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-64041 jay Mon, 01 Oct 2012 16:13:03 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-64041 My partner views me as a serial dater, because I am one chatty woman, I am not rude and I know how important it is to be polite. I am a midwife and it is my job to build a relationship with someone who is vulnerable very quickly in order that they trust you. Also my father was in the RAF, this involved moving around, I learned as a child to be sociable very quickly in order to be accepted by my peers at school. I love people and find all people fascinating. I will talk to street seller, Big issue sellers, tramps, ticket sellers in train stations, a guy in a bar if I am there alone, waiting for a appointment when I have arrived at the destination too early. I see absolutely nothing wrong in this behaviour. I have played golf and been chatting to total strangers on the way around the course who happened to be male but it would not have made any difference to me male or female. I have taken phone numbers to maintain contact with people I have met on the coach to London and it drives my significant other mental. He calls me a serial dater and simply does not understand me. He tells his friends I go into bars to chat up other men. I am at the point of calling it a day. He is just too possessive. How do two so different people reconcile these sorts of issues. My partner views me as a serial dater, because I am one chatty woman, I am not rude and I know how important it is to be polite. I am a midwife and it is my job to build a relationship with someone who is vulnerable very quickly in order that they trust you. Also my father was in the RAF, this involved moving around, I learned as a child to be sociable very quickly in order to be accepted by my peers at school. I love people and find all people fascinating. I will talk to street seller, Big issue sellers, tramps, ticket sellers in train stations, a guy in a bar if I am there alone, waiting for a appointment when I have arrived at the destination too early. I see absolutely nothing wrong in this behaviour.

I have played golf and been chatting to total strangers on the way around the course who happened to be male but it would not have made any difference to me male or female. I have taken phone numbers to maintain contact with people I have met on the coach to London and it drives my significant other mental.

He calls me a serial dater and simply does not understand me. He tells his friends I go into bars to chat up other men.
I am at the point of calling it a day. He is just too possessive. How do two so different people reconcile these sorts of issues.

]]> By: Josh http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-41051 Josh Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:51:13 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-41051 Wow Patricia! I could have written the exact same critique as you spelled out precisely how women deal with these issues. The problem is not gender-based for there are serial dating men and women. The issue at the core is dating itself. Today, a date is either a hookup or a make or break meeting between two people who don't know a thing about each other. Brilliant concept. What it should be, as Joshua puts it, is a chance to get to know someone not as a date but as a friend that could lead to a romantic date. Unfortunately, that rarely happens because we simply don't care enough about each other to bother with it. The funny vibe thing that you refer to is an example of that and it is the women (as exemplified by that vibe) that have all the rules and regulations. Most men are pretty relaxed about all this. It is also funny to me that the only ones who seem to take the time to talk with each other are those 60 and up. That could be because they are each grandparents so sex is not the main focus of the meeting, friendship is. The romance and sex comes later. If only we could take that lesson and apply it to our 40s and 50s when we still have a few years left to enjoy each other. Wow Patricia! I could have written the exact same critique as you spelled out precisely how women deal with these issues. The problem is not gender-based for there are serial dating men and women. The issue at the core is dating itself. Today, a date is either a hookup or a make or break meeting between two people who don’t know a thing about each other. Brilliant concept. What it should be, as Joshua puts it, is a chance to get to know someone not as a date but as a friend that could lead to a romantic date. Unfortunately, that rarely happens because we simply don’t care enough about each other to bother with it. The funny vibe thing that you refer to is an example of that and it is the women (as exemplified by that vibe) that have all the rules and regulations. Most men are pretty relaxed about all this.

It is also funny to me that the only ones who seem to take the time to talk with each other are those 60 and up. That could be because they are each grandparents so sex is not the main focus of the meeting, friendship is. The romance and sex comes later. If only we could take that lesson and apply it to our 40s and 50s when we still have a few years left to enjoy each other.

]]> By: Patricia http://www.jdate.com/jmag/2012/06/the-dangers-of-serial-daters/comment-page-1/#comment-40941 Patricia Wed, 13 Jun 2012 00:37:16 +0000 http://www.jdate.com/jmag/?p=66641#comment-40941 Joshua this is in response to the above, I am sure that there are women and men that do what you said, However you have not taken in consideration that when you go out you might be going out simply to make connections not only for dates but also to connect with people and net work. The other thing that you guys do not seem to understand is that no, we do not expect to be swept off our feet like in the movies, we know that is great acting and nothing else, however there most be a strong chemistry in order to have a bond grow between the two people involved. Sometimes although you find the person extremely handsome or beautiful it does not happen. So do you think that people should lie in order not to hurt the other person or should they be sincere with them? The other thing is that sometimes women get a funny vibe immediately from the date that it will probably not go anywhere and that the man is only looking for a quick lay. Therefore does not bother seeing them again and continues on her quest to find a better match, so you are telling me that in order not to be called a serial dater one should simply stop all together? I think you men have too many rules and regulations to follow and I think half the time you do not know yourself what you actually want leaving us women baffled. The other thing that I have noticed is that if things do not work out with a guy he finds it extremely easy to bash the woman to make himself look good. Women do not do that, they simply state it did not work out. It is hard enough to date at our age and find that true friend and lover. We do not need another thing to add to the list of being concerned about. Middle age woman who is in the dating game right now and tired of the ups and downs that it offers. This is the second time that I have stated that because it is annoying to constantly see the same comments. If the answer came out exactly the same it should tell you it is the honest opinion of someone who does not know or think of herself an expert within the subject Joshua this is in response to the above, I am sure that there are women and men that do what you said, However you have not taken in consideration that when you go out you might be going out simply to make connections not only for dates but also to connect with people and net work. The other thing that you guys do not seem to understand is that no, we do not expect to be swept off our feet like in the movies, we know that is great acting and nothing else, however there most be a strong chemistry in order to have a bond grow between the two people involved. Sometimes although you find the person extremely handsome or beautiful it does not happen. So do you think that people should lie in order not to hurt the other person or should they be sincere with them? The other thing is that sometimes women get a funny vibe immediately from the date that it will probably not go anywhere and that the man is only looking for a quick lay. Therefore does not bother seeing them again and continues on her quest to find a better match, so you are telling me that in order not to be called a serial dater one should simply stop all together? I think you men have too many rules and regulations to follow and I think half the time you do not know yourself what you actually want leaving us women baffled. The other thing that I have noticed is that if things do not work out with a guy he finds it extremely easy to bash the woman to make himself look good. Women do not do that, they simply state it did not work out. It is hard enough to date at our age and find that true friend and lover. We do not need another thing to add to the list of being concerned about.
Middle age woman who is in the dating game right now and tired of the ups and downs that it offers.
This is the second time that I have stated that because it is annoying to constantly see the same comments. If the answer came out exactly the same it should tell you it is the honest opinion of someone who does not know or think of herself an expert within the subject

]]>