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Is Hollywood Destroying Our Love Lives?

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Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney; I’m sure you are all really nice people, and I mean that. However, you are making the online dating lives of men who want to get into serious relationships around the world much more difficult. I know it’s not your fault; you’re just acting the parts that were written for you. Still, the problem is that women see your movies and expect these hopeless romantic stories to become their reality.

First and foremost, it would be wrong of me to not point out that there is nothing wrong with wanting a little romance, or longing to “fall for someone.” Yet, women sometimes see a Hollywood film and truly believe that their own version of a romance on the grandest scale (like the one in the movie) is going to happen for them too. They believe their fairytale is going to come true, they’ll meet the greatest guy in the world, he’ll sweep her off her feet, and she’ll live happily ever after like a princess. Whether these thoughts are conscious or subconscious, they are often there.

I’ve met other women who have more old-school Hollywood notions when it comes to romance. That means they like a little bit of drama mixed in. I mean no “perfect romance” should actually start out perfectly, right? We all know the old format for a Hollywood romantic comedy…

Girl meets guy. Girl hates guy, but finds him beautiful. Slowly, she starts to develop feelings for him while fighting it. They fall in love. Suddenly, there is a big misunderstanding and they break up! The misunderstanding is eventually resolved and they live happily ever after.

I’m sure this alternative to falling in love instantly would work just as well for many women out there. Especially those that believe they are destined to be swept off their feet by a Ryan Gosling-type character. It may not happen to everyone, but why not them, right?

Expect for one little problem: life is not a movie, and this is reality. In real life, we don’t often meet the man of our dreams when he accidentally spills a cup of coffee on us as we are running late to an important meeting. Nor do we coincidentally run into the same gorgeous hunk later that day as he offers to take us out to dinner to make up for his clumsiness. And we especially don’t begin to fall in love with him over that romantic candlelit dinner that turns into the “most romantic date of our life” (or insert any similar movie scenario here).

Feelings take time to develop in real life, and the movies are to blame for many women deciding to write men off too fast. Instead of getting to know these men, women sometimes instantly dismiss them instead, even when the first date goes well. Why? Because the date went well, but it wasn’t earth shattering!

So, for anyone who thinks like this, please stop with all the preconceived notions of what your future mate should be, look like or live up to. Judge people based on who they are when you meet them. Get to know each person you meet. Take the time to give things a chance. This is how real feelings are developed, feelings that are not based on superficiality.

Hollywood is great, but it has created a culture of singles who seek the unattainable. Throw out that misguided thinking and give those that deserve it a chance! And, most importantly, remember, you are not Julia Roberts or Channing Tatum! I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that, but acceptance is the path to recovery!

Joshua Pompey is the author of three online dating books for men, and runs a profile writing service. For more information on his online dating books click here. You can also learn more about The REAL Online Game’s online dating profile-writing service here.
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