Comments on: Whatever Happened To Woo?

By: Naomi

Naomi — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 20:04:39 +0000

I agree with the commentor who said that people’s focus is materialistic these days. The real meaning behind “I’m as comfortable in a cocktail dress as I am in jeans,” is “I want to let all rich, powerful men out there — the kind I’m really targeting — know that I’m not going to embarrass them at the firm Christmas party. I look good when I’m dressed up and I know how to behave the way you’d want the woman you’re showing off as your possession to behave in front of the equally rich and powerful men in your social circle.”

Me, I’m not nearly as comfortable in a cocktail dress as I am in jeans. I can handle a formal party and sometimes I like to, because they’re exciting, but ‘comfortable’ isn’t a term I’d use to describe them, nor would I want it to be. I spend most of my time down here where it’s cozy: with the children, animals, books, music, massage, and a lot of love, laughter, adventure and joy. Being wooed would be nice, but so would meeting a man who likes to live quietly and comfortably, without wealth or power but with the kind of love that matters.

If anyone wants to join me here, feel free to drop me a line.

By: Marc

Marc — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 05:37:14 +0000

I agree with joanie, without wooing, how do you want the other wants, likes, what’s important. It creatwes true intimacy, not to be confused with sexual intimacy. Without that bond, how can you love?

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:23:01 +0000

What a great laugh to start the day!
Seriously,though, it it so sad that we have become so abbreviated in life and in love that there is no time to woo. It’s a state of mind, really. Taking the time to feel rather than talk or do. I agree with the comments from Richard, that we only take a “vacay”. It’s all about speed and “checking things off the list”. I even used that expression with a guy I was making plans to meet. He lived a distance away and I mentioned that given the mutual attraction through photos, etc, we should meet to see if there is something there or not, so we could “cross each other off the list”. I’m ambarrased to even admit to having said that. The supermarket analogy from Kira was right on the money.
Well, if we all agree with the statements, what can we do in our own personal situation to make a change? Get in a romantic mood, invision the state of being while in love with someone and then compose your profile. And, maybe keeping the phrase”it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” as a guide. I just might open my heart to the “right” person. Otherwise, I will never know when he’s in front of me.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 05:26:02 +0000

Very succinctly and eloquently put Mr.Comedy Writer! I agree with you 100%, however, I challenge you to put your $$ where your mouth is! I do recall some time ago, we had a marvelously creative exchange. You appreciated the lack of dribble in my profile, but because I didn’t live within a 20 mile radius of you, you weren’t wiling to add me to your line up of dates you described to me for the following weekend. Where’s the woo factor in that?!

They say that a person shows their true colors right from the start, and in your first paragraph you shamelessly admit that your heart is in your pants. So, perhaps, you are the one who could most benefit from reading Mr. Hugo. Perhaps you should look inside to see that it is the size of the heart which resides north of your zipper that really matters.

By: kristen (yeshurun) hope

kristen (yeshurun) hope — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 20:33:15 +0000

…lots of very good insights!

By: Michal

Michal — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 08:39:02 +0000

Dear Mr. Miller,

It gives me a great hope knowing that there is at least one man on this planet who wishes, like me, to a less cynical world.
even i who wishes to find a passionate ,self confidence gentleman, don’t believe it even when i’ll meet him.
we got so used to be cynical, moving forwared magor stages in relationsheep… so thank you. thank you for make me belive again.

Michal

By: Rob

Rob — Sat, 04 Aug 2012 14:04:30 +0000

I miss being wooed……. I miss the genuine excitement of getting to know someone. We are all (men and women) so afraid to become vulnerable, to allow time to get to know each other and to allow someone to get to know the real you. We try to be cool, laid back, easy going, hot, sexy, fast or have some list of desired traits and we miss what is really sexy, intimate and exciting. We are in a rush….and we miss the real fun of spending time, getting to know and really finding true intimacy. True intimacy is scarey and we are not always in control of it.
We interview each other as if its a job. I believe in chemistry and that interests are peaked and ……yes our roles are mixed and switched at times causing us all to often live somewhere in between, but at the end we want it but have no idea how….. Perhaps we should start there? Maybe a wooing class one for men on how to and one for women on how to receive it. Perhaps a YouTube video class………LOL
I miss sweet notes left by my morning coffee cup or the message that let’s your imagination take you on a wonderful journey throughout your busy day……..Wooing is delicious and necessary!!!
“Love is not all: It is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain,
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
and rise and sink and rise and sink again.
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
pinned down by need and moaning for release
or nagged by want past resolution’s power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.”
― Edna St. Vincent Millay
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By: joanie

joanie — Fri, 03 Aug 2012 00:29:02 +0000

I think many years ago a man wooed a woman to show her that he was serious in getting to know her. He took his time, they formed a bond that was not based on sex and therefore they had a solid foundation to build from. I think this was what helped people “fall in love” because it was not the typical Cosmo Magazine type scenario where the rule is you go on 3 dates and then you have sex. People today don’t get to know each other. The instant gratification factor in our society doesn’t really allow for wooing or meaningful long term loving relationships.

Men and women used to respect each other more because I think you were stigmatized if you didn’t treat the person right or if you were divorced which made it much more important to get it right with the person you were going to married. And if you didn’t get it right, you at least made the effort to try to make the marriage last and be civil. I think a lot of people think when they get married, well if it doesn’t work out I can always get a divorce. We just don’t try to make things work. Marriage is work and you have to nurture it and maintain it because when you don’t there is always someone out there who would be more than willing to see if they could make things work.

I think there was a sense of sensuality that made waiting for the right person titillating. People slow danced and touched each other without being rude and nasty and practically having sex in front of everyone on the dance floor. And that doesn’t mean those dances weren’t sexy–they were. It just means people had restraint and respect. I think that is a huge part of what is missing with regard to wooing. Men and women don’t touch each other without it meaning let’s have sex. Before people held hands, they embraced, they put there arms around each other even at home sitting on the sofa watching tv. Think about how sexy it is to just sit on the sofa and kiss. VERY SEXY! Remember high school? There was that excitement about just being with the person. You couldn’t wait until the next day to see them. Now you don’t have to. You can SKYPE all night so you never have to wait to see the person again. It’s crazy.

I miss wooing. PLEASE Cosmo…start the rumor that wooing is back!!!

By: Michaela

Michaela — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 00:21:48 +0000

I am deeply appreciating Mr. Miller’s article.
I would like to add more comments. It is sad to see that people are losing a value of real Love. The material matter tried take over people’s souls. Either in a cocktail dress or in jeans people ask the same questions on date: What do you do for living? How much money do you make? Do you own a house? What is your business/occupation? People are looking for material values but not for good personality and soul with high moral values. Forget about the romantic values…the people are not looking into inside person but what is around him and what that person has…
People don’t realize that material income value is not important compare to a high moral value. The high moral person will stay forever, whereas the material one will be gone with a material values if something would be going wrong. For example, a man can marry younger girl if he is reach. One day he got physically sick and his young wife will not even help him to get him better, but she’d take his money and leave for a younger and healthy one.When a person is sick the money value really is not important, and he doesn’t really need them anymore. What he needs in this moment is her support next to him. No one can buy health with money. The person with high moral value qualities would never leave a sick one and will stay with him/her forever until the end.
In addition, I would say that the physical body, the looks are adjustable but again, the inner soul is a permanent matter.
I believe that my other Half is somewhere looking for me. How will I recognize him? I am trusting my intuition, which will “signal me” that he is the One.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Sun, 29 Jul 2012 16:23:55 +0000

Mr. Miller:
The only woo I’ve found comes in the form of the 19th century setting romance novels I read on a weekly basis.