I don’t know what to say exactly. I think this depend on situation. If nature called in both, then why not. .This is an attraction feeling. It’s actually no waiting period for this. Definitely cannot be just from one side, other side supposed to be ready too. If this happens very soon then the close relationship started immediately. Why do we have to waste of time? I am just kidding. Nothing wrong with sooner sex if this is an appropriate and acceptable from both sides. And love started with understandings, trust, respect, care and you name it…Sometimes we live with a person for many years but still don’t know this person exactly.

1. She’s just not that into you.

2. As a woman, the idea of being “typed” according to whether I’ll put out early is kind of insulting. (I understand that’s not purely what you’re “typing” these women as, but you’re still typing me and it’s objectifying, Mark.)

3. Nobody is “punishing” you. You’re not a victim; you’re a capable writer at one of the biggest-grossing personals website in the world, and you are a man of free agency.

I’ve heard that “don’t punish me for other mens’ actions” a million and one times. Boo hoo! That’s just an excuse for wanting to get in my pants. At 38, I know what feels safe and comfortable and what works for me and what doesn’t. I’m not “punishing” you; I’m respecting myself. This isn’t about you; get over yourself. (And that message goes out to all men who use that excuse, not just you Mark.)

The simple truth is, if women felt respected by men in general, they’d “put out” a lot sooner. I like sex, but I also like feeling wanted. I like pancakes in the morning and lunch in the afternoon. I like non-food-related accoutrements as well. But in essence, don’t just act like you like me when you want some, and then talk about how “busy” you’re going to be over the next couple of weeks after you’ve gotten it (and no it’s not because I’m bad in bed because I’m damn good in bed.)

Man up. Respect.

You know what friendship leads to? Hearing about the other people they’re into and dating. Read the handwriting on the wall and Move on!

A set of “rules” … the other person may also be relieved … or … they may see this as disinterest or uptightness, a low sex drive, a lack of attraction, or even of their own failure. The result of course … everyone’s confused… and things often end far too early.

Without doubt, there’s an elephant in the room … so … use your instincts and keep your guard up … slow down off back off when things don’t feel right … be yourself and who you really are when they dock … and be ready … … for some who aren’t right for you … some where you aren’t right for them … and some where you’re both right for each other.

I wish you all … dates you can be yourself with … fun (and some good sex) along the way … and that you find the person you’re looking for.

My philosophy on all this is that it’s not black and white and each situation is different.

I feel that as we fall in love with ourselves, which is really the ultimate prequisite to any healthy relationship, you learn to strike the right balance.

First and foremost for me, I am on the journey I just mentioned above; falling in love with myself. From there I know everything is possible and I can have cirque de soleil, passionate lovemaking on one first date and coffee on another. My only rule these days is there are no rules.

Happy hunting!

All this means is that you’ve been passing up good for great. It’s on its way!

M

I had sex with my ex-wife on our first date. It lasted more than 14 years and we had 3 great kids. I’m a very sexual person, and it’s important to me, but the real connection between a man and a woman is heart to heart. Either that will be established or it won’t, and both parties need to keep up their antennae to see if it’s happening.

Now, I won’t disagree that getting too sexual too early can derail a relationship if things get weird because of differing expectations, or that the woman feels too vulnerable or clingy as a result of having sex before trust was being developed. If sex and trust grow at a similar pace, I think the relationship has a chance of growing. If the guy is really interested in something long term, he’ll do things to build it.

If a woman is really aware, I think she can tell when someone cares more about her and how she is, vs. getting between her legs. However, we do all fool ourselves at times, and fail to really see what’s happening, for the hope that it’s real.

Of course, the final problem is that it surely seems that good guys finish last – men who are really nice often lose out and bad boys win. I’ve dated a few women who liked it more when I didn’t pay too much attention. Guys, if you ever read some of the David DeAngelo work, he addresses that. Weird phenomenon!

And then there’s the female book readers of those “Date like a man” books I see on occasional night tables….