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Dealing With Online Dating Fatigue

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We all come to online dating with different agendas in mind. Some of us merely want to date casually, others want a busier dating life, and of course there are those looking for the whole package: marriage, kids, and everything that goes along with it.

For those of us that fall into the third category, meeting women online can become frustrating at times. No matter how successful we become at learning how to attract women, there are no guarantees we will find that perfect match quickly. This is because finding a perfect match online is just as hard as finding a perfect match in real life.

I know it sounds like that should not bet the case with online dating since. Perusing all those dating profiles is meant to help us narrow down the results and find our matches easier than ever, right? Heck, JDate even has a compatibility survey to help us learn whether or not a person would make for a compatible match!

While survey and personality tests can help us narrow the search, they can only take you so far in your quest for “The One.” It’s easy to feel as if you are looking at your perfect match on paper, but nothing can truly predict in-person chemistry.

There will be times when it feels like you’ve been going on a lot of dates that fall short of what you are looking for. You may even show up for a date thinking you’ve finally found everything you’ve been searching for, only to be let down when the fantasy doesn’t live up to the reality.

The real problem is that many people become jaded online daters when they are looking for that special someone for too long. When they feel run down by “dating fatigue,” they start believing that every date they go on will wind up “going bad.” In their mind, dating starts to feel like a chore. Have you ever felt this way? Have you ever lost your excitement and enthusiasm for date? Have you ever fallen into that pre-date mindset of “let’s get this over with,” before a date even begins?

If you answered yes, you may be suffering from online dating fatigue. Online dating fatigue will not only put you in a negative mindset, but could even start to cause you to make bad decisions about who you date, how often you date, and how you respond to great matches. You may even start going on way too many dates hoping you will eventually find the right one, only to have your first-date performances come off as “less than optimal” because of your dating fatigue. If this is happening to you, you may need to schedule short breaks from logging in to your online dating account.

First, if you’re logging in every day, schedule a 24-hour break to get your mind off obsessing over finding Mr./Mrs. Right. Use your time to catch up on a TV show, work out, or read the end of that novel you’ve been meaning to finish. If that’s not enough, give yourself a nice, long weekend away from your love life by refusing to log in for three days. This will hopefully be enough time to refresh your excitement for dating again.

Take one of these short breaks from your online dating account and not only will you return feeling energized and enthused for dating, but you’ll likely make much better dating decisions. Plus, you’ll have even more fodder for your first-date discussions thanks to the fact that you caught up on your favorite TV series, read an interesting article, or saw a critically-acclaimed film that just came out. The important thing to remember is that no matter how frustrated you get with finding “The One,” you will find that special someone (just make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process by getting fatigued)!

Joshua Pompey is a dating coach who has written four eBooks on dating. If you’re looking for the right approach to meet women online, click GetREALDates Online Dating Openers for more free information from Pompey. You can also find over 700 pages of information on the subject by clicking on his site: The REAL Online Game Online Dating Guides for Men.
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6 Comments »

  • SinglesMax says:

    Well I think is on individual cos some people get addicted staying online chatting everyday no sleep .. It happen up my brother ..

  • bailong says:

    Very true. Online daters need a little break in between to feel energetic again.

  • Gertridge Poch says:

    Isn’t video on Blindcupids a bit overshooting the target?

    Blind people can’t watch videos. No, I am not trying to oppress them. I am, instead, calling a naturally arranged phenomenon by the Intelligent Designer, that blind people can’t see, and videos are visual.

    Anyhow. People tell me I think too much.

  • Gertridge Poch says:

    In my seven years of internet dating sites I never met one woman for a date. I was rejected, on the average, about 3,442 times per annum.

    So… others go on dates? What a hugely disappointing surprise for me.

    What’s your secret, guys? I bet you’re over 5’4″, have a car in the least, and don’t cut your own hair. Also, some of you must take showers every day.

    Well, with that much work to perform, who needs a woman?

  • BlindCupids says:

    Great article! When dating site members are presented with too many options they can suffer from profile overload and burnout. We recommend two 15-minute intervals a day – no more no less.

    BlindCupids.com is an interracial dating site featuring video profiles.

    http://youtu.be/s8cy27vHWic

  • Sandra says:

    The issue here is not online dating, but how you are using it. The fact remains with other “fatigue” or addictions such as FB. One must know how to use these services while managing other daily tasks.

    One more thing. “Mr. Perfect match” is not available. So what you should do is to get the nearest match and try to close gaps.

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