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On Dating: Using All Of The Available Resources

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So you’re in a good place to date and meet someone for a “serious” relationship — now what? There are many great offline ways to meet very eligible singles: I know, I’ve been there and done that! As someone who essentially makes a living going out and socializing with single people, my dates are often stunned when they realize I still use an online dating site to find myself matches.

But here’s why I do it: you never know how or when you’re going to meet someone worth dating. It could be at the grocery store, at your best friend’s party, online, or just out and about. You just don’t know. That’s why it can be hard to tell what you “should” be doing in order to meet that person.

So what’s my advice to you? Do it all. Be open. Be receptive. If someone suggests you try an online dating site, what do you have to lose? A new hotspot just opened and your friend wants to check out their menu? Go with them. Don’t close your mind, creating limitations for yourself when it comes to places where you could meet someone fantastic.

Here’s the thing — as a dating coach and matchmaker who runs her own business, I socialize a ton. From entrepreneurial events, to networking meetups, to randomly approaching a stranger at Starbucks®, I meet a lot of people. So when I started writing for JMag, I figured creating a JDate profile was worth a shot.

And here’s what happened — for months, I received a lot of messages, met different people, started conversations, went on first dates, some second dates, fewer third dates, but I just stayed receptive to the idea that it was worth it.

And in a way, you can say it was — despite all the connections I make on a regular basis, despite all of the real-life contacts I have, without JDate I wouldn’t have met a fantastic person who’s been nearby-ish all along. The story goes that some odd months ago, my JDate subscription ran out and I couldn’t send any messages. When I read his profile, I knew I wanted to send a message and so I re-subscribed. One message later… is to be continued.

So here’s my last question to you  — what are you waiting for? Whether its joining JDate, trying a new venue, attending a speed-dating event, or asking your friends to set you up, there are always resources to find dates and meet new people. Make it happen!

Melissa E. Malka is a dating coach and matchmaker in Chicago, IL. She’s been described as “a cross between Darwin and the Millionaire Matchmaker” and would love to hear from you here.
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One Comment »

  • Ben A. says:

    It’s all rather simple.

    After women raise their kids they stay at home and then wonder why they don’t meet anyone. And that means going out without a full assembly of other women. Aren’t two of you enough?

    And ladies, please don’t wear a ring on your marriage finger if you are not married. Serious men have no desire to waste our time on married women, nor single women that don’t even realize what a ring on the wrong finger means.

    In the old days no one met without exchanging a personal greeting card- even the women (so getting a phone number was easy). Now where did that did that cultural icon go, this time around with an email address?

    Finally, its too bad we’re are not back in Hawaii- back years ago when the location of a flower in the hair said: “I am married” or “I am single and want to meet someone else”.

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