Article Archive for Year 2012
The Great Date contest has a winner and we think it just may be Beshert!
Dear Matchmaker Rabbi:
I’m thinking of joining JDate, but I’m only partly Jewish in my ancestry. I was sent to a Jewish kindergarten, but had no other Jewish education. Since I’m not 100% Jewish, is it wrong to date Jewish girls, even if I tell them the truth on the first date?
I would have no problem committing to converting (which as I understand is a long process). And I would feel funny dating a non-Jewish girl. What do you think?
― Only Sort of Jewish
There is an old joke among those who are familiar with the Mussar Movement: A new student comes to a Novardok yeshiva and during the first mussar session begins to cry, “I am a nothing! I am a nobody!” An older student whispers to a friend, “He’s here for one day and already he thinks he’s a nobody!” It’s a strange joke until one learns more about the Novardok brand of mussar.
Searching through your matches on JDate can make you feel like a kid in a candy store! But, if you want to skip the sugar-rush, then it’s best to pick out just a few matches at a time and focus on making a good first online impression. Even when there is a computer (or a smartphone) between the two of you, first impressions count! Your initial contact could make or break whether you score a date. Ready to get focused? Here are a few suggestions to help you spruce up that first email and improve your chances of getting a reply.
Guarding Shabbat is a Biblical commandment that requires a fair bit of knowledge to perform correctly. The act of guarding Shabbat requires that a person refrain from all creative works (known as melachot) throughout the day of rest. To make it easier for Jews to preserve the sanctity of Shabbat, the rabbis enacted numerous laws, creating protective fences to prevent one from breaking a Torah law. The best known of these “fences” is muktzeh, the Talmudic term for an item that serves no purpose on Shabbat, and thus many not be used or moved on Shabbat.
I wish I lived 200 years ago so I could woo a woman the way single men did back then. Who even uses the word “woo” anymore, much less knows what it means? Who even gives much thought at all to what they say to the opposite sex? Maybe Kanye West, but the rest of us – not so much. The media and the MTV generation and life’s increasingly rapid pace have pretty much finished off traditional courtship, replacing “wooing” with “hitting on” or “coming on to” or “making your move.” It’s so sad. Where’s the poetry? Where’s the passion? Where’s the heart? For many of us men, unfortunately, it’s all in our pants. Okay, I’ll speak for myself.
Have you ever checked your cell phone on the hour, every hour until that certain someone called or texted? Or worse, are you guilty of checking your inbox every five minutes, waiting for the object of your affection to email you? The lowest moments in our love lives often come when we are sitting around, waiting for someone else to hit us up. Instead of wasting your evening away stalking that hottie online, why not reach out and make something happen? How do you do that? By staying active on JDate! That means sending Flirts, emails and Instant Message requests to anyone who sparks your interest! This might seem scary at first, but remember, everyone else on JDate is looking to meet new people as well. They’ll be thankful you decided to reach out and say hello!
The mitzvah of hachnassat orchim is so important that it is listed as one of only six mitzvot for which “a person eats the fruit in this world, while the principal remains for that person in the world to come” (Shabbat 127a).
I made my profile on JDate and marked my religious status as, “willing to convert.” I knew that was going to be my path, regardless of my dating status.
Compared to most dating coaches, I have relatively few rules. However, of the rules that I do have in my eBook, there is one that’s key to follow if you have any hope of your first date turning into something long term. The rule? Set a drinking limit BEFORE you head out on a date. It’s easy to feel a connection with someone after a few gin and tonics, but you also have to have a connection in the sobering light of day if you really want a successful relationship.