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Don’t Let Dating During the Holidays Get You Down

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The holidays are a stressful time. What do you buy your boss that doesn’t scream “I’m sucking up” but instead says you’re being thoughtful?  Why does the bathroom scale suddenly show a scarily large number that makes you recalibrate it five times and then decide to take advantage of holiday sales on a new one that works?  How many times do your annoying neighbors have to ask if you’re making your award-winning spinach dip for their annual holiday party?  Enough is enough!

The holidays are also a stressful time if you’re single and you don’t want to be.  Some people tend to rush into holiday relationships because the thought of yet another year of watching the ball drop with a pint of Chunky Monkey and your cat in your lap just doesn’t seem appealing anymore.  Holiday movies and TV shows don’t help matters, either, often putting undue pressure on people to couple up.  But in reality, things aren’t always so perfectly wrapped up in a little bow.  People say that after having a few drinks, you get beer goggles.  Along those lines, I don’t want people to get “holiday goggles.”  Instead, I encourage everyone to stick to their guns and avoid making hasty decisions in order to have someone to cuddle with by the fire.

I’d like to provide some easy, tangible steps that will encourage you to meet the right fit for you, whether in December, January, or next June.

  1. Join an online dating site (hopefully JDate!), and if you’re already on one, become more active.  As I’ve said in previous posts, just putting a profile up is only half the battle.  Initiating emails to people who interest you and being proactive (and positive) about the process is what really matters.
  2. Be socially active.  You know where you’re not going to meet the love of your life?  Sitting at home.  Go to an event and strike up some conversations with new people.  You never know who you might meet – a new friend, an activity partner, or your next great love.
  3. Join a group or class doing something that interests you.  That way, you’ll be having fun regardless of whether you meet someone or not.  And if you do meet someone, you know you already have that common interest.  A few examples are painting classes, hiking groups, and book clubs.  I actually just sang in a competitive karaoke league!  If you’re interested in something, a group probably already exists.  Just do some digging.
  4. Surround yourself with people who love and support you, like family and friends.  Take this time to grow the relationships you already have.  Evaluate your priorities, and take some much-needed time for yourself.  Often, when you feel better about yourself, you attract more people anyway.

Treat this time of year as any other in terms of looking for a partner.  While you may not have a date to your office holiday party, it’s better to go alone than to go with someone who is simply filling a void.  However, you may very well meet the person of your dreams by following the steps above, and then every day might feel like a holiday.

Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, where she helps people navigate the world of online dating. Her services include: writing unique profiles to get you noticed, helping to choose your best profile pictures, writing one-of-a-kind emails to get someone’s attention, and planning dates. Want to connect with Erika? Join her newsletter for updates and tips.
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