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You Love To Laugh? Wow! Really? Because I Hate Being Happy!

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After online dating for a bit, you may start to see a lot of the same descriptions in someone’s profile.  I often wonder how it’s possible for so many people to write the same things. I doubt someone’s reading their competitor’s profiles and picking one line from each one.  It’s one thing to start reading a lot of the same descriptions, but when a lot of the same details include awful clichés, I immediately skip to the next one! So what should one include and not include in their online profile? How about starting with a little positivity!

I believe one should write the positive things about themselves and what they’re looking for, instead of focusing on the negative, (like I am going to do for a good part of this article)! One should include their passions and interests; things that make them “tick.” If you like to stay healthy and feel it’s important to maintain an active lifestyle, include that in your profile.  Let people know what you do to stay active (cycling, dancing, hitting the gym, etc.) and then say you’d love to find a partner with whom you can share the same activities. I understand a lot of people like to travel and stay active, myself included. But one’s definition of travel can vary, from trips to Florida and Vegas as your big yearly trip to traveling to places like Southeast Asia and Australia. So if you have any amazing places you’ve been, list them – it will give you things to talk about. List things that may set you apart from others or that give someone a true insight into what makes you unique.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who are negative in their profile.  For example, if someone writes, “If you don’t know the difference between there, their and they’re, or you’re and your, it’s not going to be a match.” Really?! When you meet someone in a bar, do you really ask them if they know the different between all of those words? How ridiculous of a statement is that and why do so many people write that in their profile? I understand you’re trying to say you are looking for someone halfway intelligent, but you sound like a total moron writing that when describing what is important to you in a potential partner.

Another phrase that gets under my skin is when someone describes some traits they don’t like, and then write “need not apply.” Need not apply for what? Am I applying for the incredible opportunity to go on a date with you? Even if I agree with those characteristics you don’t like, your personality comes across as cocky or arrogant. To me, you already sound like a jaded, negative type of guy.  I don’t know about you, but I’m looking for a positive person… someone who is going to look at the glass half-full rather than half-to-completely-empty.

Most of all, if you are going online to meet people, you want to show your best face to others.  Therefore, in the first paragraph, when it asks you to describe yourself, don’t say things like “I don’t know what to write here” or “They say I have to write at least 500 words, so I’m going to keep saying nothing to fill up the space.” Also, don’t start off by saying things like, “I can’t believe I’m on here,” because guess what? I’m on here too! So what are you saying about the fact that I’ve chosen to use the site as just another way to meet great people I wouldn’t otherwise meet?

No one likes to think of dating as a job interview, but in all reality, people are trying to get to know you, so put your best self forward and present as you would in a job interview. No one would be negative and say that they can’t believe they at a new company, applying for that job.  At the beginning of relationships, people are always trying to be on their best behavior and that should start at the very beginning, before the first date.

Michelle Jerson is a relationship talk show host and reporter residing in New York City.  She loves to travel and founded the website, www.passportromance.com.  She is currently looking for a few good men to join a matchmaking service for which she recruits.  No charge and no catch! Email michelle at michelle@passportromance.com
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3 Comments »

  • Seth says:

    i agree with your article, i have used some of those phrases and i have fallen into some of the same traps… i try to change up my profile from time to time to keep it fresh, but i do find that no matter what you write in those little boxes, doesn’t matter, some people go no further than looking at a picture. Sometimes I think that some people are on here just to waste time, because many that i have run into are not here for dating, because if they were, you would see progress.

  • Akiva says:

    Other cliches that make me wince are: “I love life” (Really? You mean you’re not contemplating suicide?), and “I’m happy in my own skin” (Really? You mean you don’t wish you were someone else?).

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