Barbara and Marty: “My daughters suggested I try JDate…”
I had been widowed for a few months after my husband passed away from a very long illness.
It was my sixtieth birthday, and Mother’s Day, and my family and I were joking about dating when my elderly mom said, “What about the temple dances?” Well, we all know those days are over! So, we all decided I should give JDate a try. It was not a good experience at first. I was not ready and – in addition – was not very computer savvy. I went off JDate and never thought about it again.
A year later, I felt different. Having new experiences as a widow and participating in widow support groups, I went through the grieving process that cannot be avoided. I was now ready to date.
From the very beginning I saw many of the same faces I had seen a year earlier, and was a bit discouraged… until I noticed a new face that was not only unfamiliar, but interested me! This is my favorite part of the story as it directly applies to the question of how JDate was able to help. I had never initiated writing to a man, and was not comfortable doing so! I called customer service at JDate and expressed that, and then elicited their help. The gentlemen on the phone was fantastic… he helped me compose something that was appropriate and conservatively stated. I felt very comfortable with his suggestion and sent the message.
Later that evening there was a response waiting for me from Marty! And by the fourth day, he asked if I was comfortable enough to meet for a cup of coffee. When I arrived at the bookstore, Marty had a big smile on his face and six hours later I had to leave for a previous commitment.
I also lost my spouse several years earlier and missed being in a loving relationship. My daughters suggested that I try JDate; it was rocky at first as I attempted to compose an accurate profile and upload flattering photos. After an unsuccessful period of time, I gave it up.
I re-joined JDate six months later and soon after was pleasantly surprised to find a cheerful query on a Monday evening after work. Happily, I replied immediately, and Tuesday work seemed brighter than normal. Having made a connection makes you feel on top of the world. Emails were exchanged back and forth and an afternoon meeting at a neighborhood cafe was arranged. When Barbara entered the seating area, an uncontrolled smile spontaneously broke out on my face. We lost track of time that afternoon, which was the beginning of our relationship…
People are always asking how we met and we tell them that if not for JDate, we probably never would have crossed paths. The takeaway from our experience is that online dating takes a few tries, and requires updating, tweaking, and fresh photos that are simple with only you as the subject (your children and animals are always welcome). Some final advice is to keep your profile simple, honest, and true to who you are.
We are getting married this coming October. Our families are blending together, and are very happy for both of us.
Barbara and Marty