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Can You Love the Same Person All Your Life?

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The number of divorces rises steadily, and yet we hope for different expectations than those of the generation before us. The divorce rate alone can make us seriously question whether or not people are capable of loving the same person for their entire life. We know that to be human is a perpetual evolution, and that our needs, desires, expectations and individual personalities are an evolution as well. So isn’t it sensible to ask: can you love the same person all your life? Single or dating, newlyweds or long-time lovers, we’ve all wondered about this question. Love Intelligence gets to the bottom of this question and shows you the keys to ensuring your response is “YES!”

A very modern line of questioning

All the angst and doubts tied up in this question of forever are relatively recent. Changes in society, the end of the patriarchal world, and the expectation that couple life should always be “exciting,” means that a modern couple is no longer the same as a couple that existed 50 years ago.

Then, being in a couple was a token of security. The exchange was clear: both partners were comforted in a relationship of security (above all, financial security). Today, this is not at all the case. The needs of a couple are no longer the same. Both men and women are more independent. Today we expect love and not simple material comfort.

The couple, therefore, is no longer a synonym of social or material obligation. Instead, being in a couple is a source of joy and personal fulfillment! Today, we expect our relationship to make us happy and fulfilled. And for those who expect that the feeling of love of those first years won’t run out, time seems like the real enemy who can destroy love’s progress, passion, desire… and finally the couple!

So, is it possible to love the same person for the rest of our life?

Yes, it is completely possible to love the same person all your life! But the essential condition is that you have to WANT to! Many think that time is the enemy; that kills love, but time is above all essential for love to be born AND to flourish! In my coaching sessions, I’ve met many men and women who don’t think of their partners’ feelings anymore, they complain that they feel less desire, that there is an absence of passion… but this is NORMAL! The transition between the love state and love can be very violent psychologically because we have to admit that love is a voluntary act. A couple that has spent ten, twenty or thirty years living together simply can’t behave like a couple in their early heady days of their relationship. Here’s why:

4 Essential Keys to Make Your Love Last Forever!

Making love last forever is possible and it is the heart of Love Intelligence’s 5th step of the Method, here is how:

1.  Don’t take the other one for granted

Taking your partner for granted stops you from opening up to them, then you consider that they have nothing to teach you anymore and that you no longer need to make efforts. That’s a big mistake! Stay awake! Your partner will never « belong » to you; something about them will always be out of your hands. That’s why you must always prove that you deserve their love.

2.  Discover how they’ve changed

People evolve constantly, and so do their needs and plans. You have to admit that the other person may still have things that will surprise you. Try to find out how they are changing.

3.  Communicate

As time goes by, you don’t always have time for long, deep conversations with your loved one! Even though ordinary conversations are still a way of maintaining love between two people. Talking with your partner is a way of letting them know that you appreciate their presence. Don’t hesitate to talk about your little secrets, your fears; it will strengthen your intimacy.

4.  Show Goodwill

The most important element for a couple to last is that both people involved want it.

No matter how difficult it is on a daily basis, as time goes by, if both partners really want to go further together, then nothing will stop them.

Having doubts and asking yourself questions about your relationship is healthy, what isn’t healthy is when you don’t feel like you’re going somewhere together. To learn how to do this, just follow the 5 key questions of the Love Intelligence Method.

Florence Escaravage was born in Paris and lives there today with her husband and 3 kids, after living in the United States along the way. She founded Love Intelligence® in 2007 after spending two years consulting with an expert committee of leading psychologists, effectively professionalizing the sector by being the first (and only) love coach to create and implement an internationally recognized certification.
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