Home » For JDaters by JDaters

How to Tell If Your Date Has Soul Mate Potential

Submitted by 4 Comments

CRTV-797-header-MM

If you’re anything like me (and if so, God help you), you approach any new JDate with a full and open heart, hoping that at long last, this one could be your Beshert, your soul mate. Of course, as we well know, this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s usually not the case because soul mates, by their very definition, are something rare, special, elusive, miraculous. There’s a greater chance of Congress passing a piece of Obama legislation than your next date being your soul mate.

Still, being the optimists we are, we never cease hoping and searching. But how do we know when the person sitting across the table from us at Starbucks has that all-important soul mate potential? Honestly, we don’t. We must, then, trust our gut feelings, combined with what we can learn by taking the following multiple-choice quiz I created exclusively for you. Because you’re worth it. Or so I’ve heard. Correct me if I was misinformed.

In any case, take out your pen and prepare to respond honestly as you discover:

How to Tell If Your Date Has Soul Mate Potential!

1. When you first see him…

a)      Your heart skips a beat.

b)      You hear songbirds serenading.

c)       You Google “restraining order.”

 

2. She reveals that one of her biggest goals is…

a)      To vacation in the Greek isles.

b)      To make every day a paradise for her soul mate.

c)       To be recognized as the foremost artist working with body fluids.

 

3. For your second date, you pick her up…

a)      In your Toyota Prius.

b)      A bouquet of roses.

c)       In prison.

 

4. He says before meeting you, he never knew…

a)      What real love was.

b)      How thrilling simply holding hands could be.

c)       That he was heterosexual.

 

5. Her attitude about children is basically…

a)      Life is meaningless without them.

b)      We teach them, but we learn even more from them.

c)       They are best served sautéed with some fava beans and a fine Chianti.

 

6. His relationship with his parents?

a)      He can’t say enough good things about them.

b)      He attributes every one of his positive traits to them.

c)       If you mention them, he breaks out in hives.

 

7. She loves to have sex…

a)      After first establishing a solid bond of friendship.

b)      As often as possible.

c)       In a department store display window, during lunch hour, “Unless you’re too uptight.”

 

8. His attitude about marriage?

a)      It’s a sacred bond that strengthens a couple’s commitment to one another.

b)      It would be the emotional high point of his life.

c)       Can’t afford it, what with the alimony payments to his first three wives.

 

9. Your friends’ first impression of him?

a)      “He’s a keeper!”

b)      “If things don’t work out between you two, can I have his phone number?”

c)       “I first noticed my wallet was missing after he gave me a hug.”

 

10. She confides that her greatest fear in life is…

a)      The possibility that one day she might lose you.

b)      Becoming too incapacitated to take care of herself and you.

c)       That the voices in her head will return for a ninth time, and this time never leave.

 

Mark Miller is a comedy writer who has performed stand-up comedy in nightclubs and on TV, written on numerous sit-com staffs, been a humor columnist for the Los Angeles Times Syndicate and is a current humor columnist for The Huffington Post. His first book, a collection of his humor essays on dating and romance, is scheduled to be published by Skyhorse Publishing on February 3rd of 2015, and is titled: “500 Dates: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars.” But he says he’d trade all his success away in a minute for immortality, inner peace and limitless wealth.
Email this post Email this post
Bookmark and Share

4 Comments »

  • Zooeyooey1450 says:

    When I cook red beans with Jamaican coconut milk- you’ll never fall asleep.

  • james e goggin says:

    I have GROWN UIP IN A JEWISH AREA AND MOST OPF OF MY FRIENDS WERE JEWISH.IN HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE I PLAYED BASKETBALLI WAS INTERSTED IN HISTORY AND PSYCHOLOGY. THE FELLOWS I PLAYED BASKETBALL IN MY FRESHMAN YEAR. THE FELLOWS I PLAYED WITH WANTED TOM GO TO A FRATERNITY THAT ACCEPTED ALL RELIGIONS.THE ONLY ONE THAT DID WAS PREVIOUSLY ALL JEWISH .WE JOINED THAT FRATERNITY. THAT OPENED THE DOORS IN ALL FRATENITIES.I FOPUND THE INTELLECTUAL STIMULATIOPN VERY HELPFULL TO MY DEVELOPMENT. ALSO MUHLENBERG COLLEGE PROVED TO BE VERY HELPFUL 0 MY EDUCATIONA GROWTH.FOR CERT5AIN REASONS WAS RECRUITED INTO THE CIA AND SPENT TWO YEARS AS AN AGENT IN BERLIN(1962-1964).On returning to the USA I OBTAINED A 60 CREDIT MASTERS DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY AT QUEENS COLLEGE AND A PH.D. AT YESHIVA UNINIVERSITY IN PSYCHOLOGY.AT THAT TIME4 I MET MY BELOVED WIFE EILEEN.WE HAD A WONDERFULL RELATIONSHIP FROM 1966 TO 2011 WHEN SHE DIED OF HER 3RD. FORM OF CANCER.I Am now looking for a romantic relationship with a good fit to my PERSONALITY.I like close intimate relationships with women.Age is not AN ISSUE.I LIKE ALL CULTURAL EVENTS, TRAVELLING AND TIME TOGETHER.

  • Mark Miller says:

    Eileen, remind me not to fall asleep while you’re cooking beans.

  • Eileen says:

    What’s weird is when you think you’ve met your soul mate only to later sautee HIM with fava beans. Not that I’ve done that.

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.


+ 4 = 5

Jmag Search
Search now! »
Please enter a zip code.

polls

  • What Halloween costume turns you on most?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...