Take a stroll through your local bookstore and you’ll find self-help guides telling you what to say during a job interview, a funeral, a corporate speech – even a conversation with a dolphin. Nowhere, however, will you find even one paragraph describing what might be appropriate to say to your lover while making love… until now.

So before you let yourself be swept away by someone new, give your JDate match this fool-proof quiz to see just how Jewish they truly are! If they can’t answer correctly, but you can, you may want to reconsider labeling them your Beshert!

Okay, I’ll admit it – we men excel at messing up our romantic lives. This is why romantic songs and movies and Hallmark cards are so popular – among women.

Ladies and gentlemen, fellow members of the Chosen People, and fellow JDaters®, I come to you today with a confession and a request. My confession: I have experienced approximately 750 coffee dates. That’s right—I have had a one-date connection with 750 women. My request: Kill me now.

Women sometimes accuse men of being interested in only one thing. And it’s not Scrabble. And I’ll admit that occasionally we are only interested in one thing…

Years ago, when I met someone who had life-partner potential, someone who could be my first real adult relationship, I held on tighter than Donald Trump to a bad hair style.

Is there a 12-step program for Jewish singles? If so, sign me up for the JDA – Jewish Date-aholics Anonymous.

What follows, then, is a woman’s guide to the inner workings of a man’s brain. Read it and weep. And, just a short note to my male readers–please don’t hate me because I am honest.

For many Jews, the High Holidays can be fraught with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and regret. And that goes double if you’re a chicken doomed to end up as soup. Or don’t know what fraught means. But even for us humans, one of the reasons for this holiday melancholy is our tendency to idealize High Holidays and synagogue services past, succumbing to precious memories of friends and relatives who’ve moved away, grown away, or passed away. We’d give anything for one more holiday meal with them. Even Uncle Jake, with his same corny jokes and pull-my-finger trick every meal.

There aren’t many outstanding “inter-political” couples we can look up to. Up until last year we could cite Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger and Democrat Maria Shriver as peaceful partners, but they’ve since said “hasta la vista, baby.” Arnold’s back making movies and Maria’s no doubt back dating human-sized men.