I have never been much of an athlete, unless you consider the two sports in which I lettered in high school great feats of fitness: golf and cheerleading. I did, however, prepare for my online dating life as if I was in training to win the gold medal of love (i.e. the perfect guy). After years of dating practice with many love injuries and disqualifications, I finally got to the finish line. If you are still in the midst of the dating rat race, perhaps these words from famous athletes can inspire you to stay in the game!
An important part of becoming transformational is the journey through the roles of victim, to victor, to transformer. Let’s look at each of these in turn:
What are the essential characteristics of a victim?
It’s hard to write a column about film this week without briefly touching on the shooting in Aurora, Colorado. One of the main reasons that people go to the movies is for an escape; they want to leave the stresses and troubles of their daily lives behind and immerse themselves in a different world. Sometimes that’s a funny world, sometimes it’s an exciting one, and sometimes it’s even a tragic one, but at the end of the movie, you get up and leave that world behind.
Behavioral therapy starts with just one step, followed by many repeats. Substitute your unwanted, self-destructive dating or love habits with behaviors that will work for you.
Most women fear divorce more than anything, but what if divorce isn’t even in the cards because your new beau wouldn’t ever dream of getting married? If you’re like every other marriage-minded woman, you’re tired of being single and you’re looking for love. It’s thrilling to want to jump into a relationship with a new man, but make sure you don’t get stuck with a man who will NEVER put a ring on your finger! Here’s how to spot these pesky time-wasting bachelors, the men who don’t want to give up the single life.
Some might say I’m an impulsive person. I get an idea, and I act on it. Case in point: Quitting my former job and starting A Little Nudge. (Perhaps that was more of a well-researched impulsion!) Basically, when I want something, I go for it. And yet, I’ve learned that in dating, slow and steady wins the race.
Dear Matchmaker Rabbi:
I’m thinking of joining JDate, but I’m only partly Jewish in my ancestry. I was sent to a Jewish kindergarten, but had no other Jewish education. Since I’m not 100% Jewish, is it wrong to date Jewish girls, even if I tell them the truth on the first date?
I would have no problem committing to converting (which as I understand is a long process). And I would feel funny dating a non-Jewish girl. What do you think?
― Only Sort of Jewish
Compared to most dating coaches, I have relatively few rules. However, of the rules that I do have in my eBook, there is one that’s key to follow if you have any hope of your first date turning into something long term. The rule? Set a drinking limit BEFORE you head out on a date. It’s easy to feel a connection with someone after a few gin and tonics, but you also have to have a connection in the sobering light of day if you really want a successful relationship.
There is something about the heat of summer that makes our craving for intense flavors seem stronger than ever. The hotter it gets, the more flavor I want. I yearn for cool and refreshing foods, but somehow strong herbs, garlic, assertive vinaigrettes and spices just seem right under the hot summer sun. As summer progresses, basil is on every single menu I write and rosemary works its way in to many of my dishes. No more polite vinaigrettes either. I want a sauce for my salad that screams, “YEOW!” I just can’t seem to get enough.
Summer has officially arrived and that means longer days, later nights and a lot of icy-cold white wine. Whether you’re out on a first date, planning your future on a fortuitous fifth date, or cozying up with a long-time lover, there is a great big world of white wine out there.