As discussed in the previous column, empathy alone does not necessarily make people take action on behalf of others – much less the kind of conscious action that leads to transformation. Feelings in and of themselves are just not strong enough – particularly when other factors are in play (outer pressure, inconvenience, ideology, direct orders from others, etc.).

Most people shy away from stating political views in their profiles – but that looks like a big mistake. It may attract more dates, but long marriages tend to be among partners with similar political ideologies.

2012 is here. As you plunge into the New Year, take this moment of surging optimism and energy to revive your spirit and discover new and better versions of what you can be.

I think I may be a little late jumping on the chia seed health train. I have an expensive bag of the flavorless gelatin-y seeds in my cupboard. And I have, reluctantly, gulped down a third of the bag, each time convincing myself how great I would feel and how my heart would thank me for all the Omega-3’s. Then I conveniently stuffed the bag behind a very decorative bag of some holiday festooned white chocolate and peppermint coated pretzels. Yum! Well, after polishing off the pretzels, the chia bag is again visible and mocking me. It is time to work on the recent resolution, already several days old, of trying to eat healthfully. Not so easy for a chef.

Astrology 411: When reading your horoscope, it’s always a good idea to read your sun sign, as well as your rising sign. Your sun, moon and rising are the 3 main elements in your natal chart that are the footprints for shaping who you are. Your rising sign is the way you go about your life… it’s “how” you get to your destination. If this was a choose-your-own-adventure book, then it’s YOUR way of going about the adventure.

What will your adventure entail this month? Read the Hora-Scopes and find out!

If the root of all evil is the failure to consider the existence of the other; and the root of all good is the recognition of the existence of the other, the all-purpose antidote would be the attribute of empathy – right? Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

When we met, sparks flew from the first moment. Neither of us have ever experienced anything like it… he said the following:

1. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my sober existence
2. I have never had a better time than the time we spend together
3. You have so much going for you- you’re brilliant, beautiful, and you have a great career
4. We are two halves of the same whole

Ok, so when a man feels all of these things supposedly, how could he just let me go like that?

Your wedding day WILL be the most fabulous! Day! Of! Your! Life!

However, hindsight is 20/20. There may be elements of your wedding that you may look back on with regret or remorse. It’s never a fabulous feeling, but you should know that as long as you have love, that’s all that really matters.

Just in case, though, it might be helpful to learn what other been-there-done-that brides have to say about their weddings. The Wedding Yentas recently asked a group of married ladies: What do you wish you could go back and change about your wedding day or wedding planning experience?

The elusive Homing Pigeon is a man who reeks of wanting to get married. He can be spotted from a mile away. A light bulb goes off in a man’s mind when he wants to find a wife, and he morphs into a Homing Pigeon. He might suddenly wake up one morning and realize that all of his friends are married, everything is about couples, and he asks if you’d be alright settling in Scarsdale.

I think back to that first date when I, frankly, was on the fence (he since has told me that he was too) and I wonder what would have happened if either of us cut it off at that point.  So often we are quick to judge. Think of the times when you made a quick decision – either at work or with a purchase?  How happy were you in the long run? Studies show that 55% of Americans believe in love at first sight, but with a divorce rate that hovers close to that number, maybe we need to rethink our way of making decisions about a potential partner.

I keep my basic criteria for deciding whether or not to go on a second date very small…