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2. The Limitations of Happiness 2. The Limitations of Happiness

We human beings like to think that we are the masters of our destiny – that we are able to shape the circumstances of our lives. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. We may be under stress because of our financial circumstances. We may not be satisfied with where we are in our professional lives.  We may experience hurt (intentional or accidental) at the hands of others – even those we love. We experience disappointment when things that seemed promising at first do not turn out the way we had hoped. We may be lacking that special relationship that we so deeply desire. Our future may be uncertain. While all of this may seem a little bleak – it is all just a part of the reality of life – some of the ups and downs that make up a very human existence.

Is It Okay To Ask Someone If They Are Willing To Relocate?
Is It Okay To Ask Someone If They Are Willing To Relocate?

Dear Matchmaker Rabbi,

I met someone who seemed interested but before we had the chance to meet, I was asked very directly if I would be willing to relocate. My response was, “Not sure as we hardly know each other,” and then I was told, “My time is very valuable.” So, while still agreeing to meet him, I let him know if he could not make the appointment we had set to please let me know. And so he did try to reach me and left a cell phone message. I was left with the option to meet very briefly on a work day when it appeared more convenient for him. Very disappointing encounter, and we never met.


Roasted Whole Turkey – Quick, Easy and Drama-Free Roasted Whole Turkey – Quick, Easy and Drama-Free

Spatchcocking is easy and takes only a few minutes and either a very sharp knife or really good kitchen shears. While the process is simple and easy, the time saved in cooking equals big payback. Because the turkey is butterflied, the heat is more evenly distributed, and a 12 pound turkey will take about 1 ½ hours to roast versus a whole turkey, which will take over 3 hours to roast. A spatchocked chicken takes about 30 minutes to roast, while a whole chicken takes an hour.

1. The Transformational Life 1. The Transformational Life

What does it mean to live transformationally? At its heart, this idea is related to one of the greatest gifts that we as humans possess: The ability to perceive and envision greatness in others and in the world as a whole.

In essence, living transformationally means being able to hold a vision of the people around us and the world we are in and live out of that vision. Doing so – and doing so effectively – enables that vision of greatness to emerge in others and in the world as a whole. As more and more of us live this way, the world becomes transformed – both because of who we are and because of the effects that we produce all around us.

Still Hot, Why Not? Still Hot, Why Not?

Age gracefully.  This old saw has been cutting into our psyche for generations.  We are supposed to age like a ballerina, tiptoeing through the pasture.  Lovely snow-white hair lifts …

Avoid the E-lationship Avoid the E-lationship

People join online dating sites for many reasons: To find an activity partner, a friend, a date, a long-term relationship, marriage, or marriage and children.  JDate is even nice enough to lay out all of these choices side-by-side for us.  All it takes is the click of a button or two to list what we’d like to find in our online dating adventure.  Curiously enough, “pen pal” is not an option.  In fact, nothing of the sort is listed – not “letter-writer,” “someone to keep me occupied at work,” or “e-mail buddy.”  Nope – it’s just not a choice.  Why?  Because people do not join online dating sites to simply e-mail back and forth.  People are looking to form a relationship, not an e-lationship.

Pumpkin Cake
Pumpkin Cake

Thanksgiving is only a few days away, and instead of the usual pumpkin pie, try this delicious, lightly cinnamon-scented cake.

This is my favorite pumpkin cake. It is versatile and can be baked into layers, a loaf pan, or cupcakes.

Psssst, Men – Beware of These Potential Dating Disasters! Psssst, Men – Beware of These Potential Dating Disasters!

There are men who manage to go through their entire dating lives without stress, anxiety, failure, offending anyone or being offended, rejecting anyone or being rejected, without encountering even one dating dilemma or disaster. They, instead, have smooth, successful, joyous, passionate, love-filled, worry-free dating lives without incident. Do such men really exist? Yes! Do they truly have such idyllic dating lives? Indeed they do. Can you find them on JDate? Sadly, no. Then, who are these men? Well, as it turns out, they’re called — fictitious characters. You’ll find them in books, plays, TV shows and movies, but you certainly won’t find them in real life because they are fantasy figures, much like Zeus, Harry Potter, or a viable Presidential candidate.

The Ins and Outs of Marrying Out
The Ins and Outs of Marrying Out

There’s a Jewish saying that may come in handy at this romantic juncture: Man plans, and God laughs. It rhymes in Yiddish (“Mann tracht, und Gott lacht”) and applies even more to women’s heartfelt plans. Once my beloved and I had pledged our devotion, problems came flying from all sides. From his mother, a devout, cross-wearing Christian, the comment: “better a Negress than a Jewess.” From my mother, a refugee from Eastern Europe, disappointment and scorn: “So,” she said irritably, “a Jewish boy I see you couldn’t find.”  She had a point, my parents had meticulously raised me to meet Jewish boy after boy; not only at years of religious school, but at the Ivies to which they had scrimped to send me. And yet, here was my situation: I wanted to marry a gentile who loved the Jews, and he wanted to convert to Judaism and marry me.

Thank You
Thank You

As Thanksgiving approaches, it’s a good time to take stock of what makes you feel lucky. Chilly weather and more time spent snuggling under blankets- never far from a baking pie and warm spices can turn your insides to jam, especially when there’s someone close by.

This is a great time to guzzle rich red wines with complex and earthy notes, along with full-bodied white wines with unexpected character. Speaking of unexpected character, I’d like to take a moment to mention some people I’m thankful for when it comes to love and romance.

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