You want your wedding to be the event of the century, right? Your guests should regroup at the following Friday’s Shabbat oneg in the temple’s banquet hall and gush about what an affair the ___stein and ___berg wedding was, yes? Your mother’s mahjong group will hardly get to the game at hand because they’re so busy yenta-ing about the celebration of her daughter’s big day, isn’t that so? Well, all this can come true with a few things to think about when it comes to making the wedding of your dreams for you and avoiding all nightmares for your guests.
Mensch (which can also be spelled mentsh—the more correct romanization of the Yiddish) comes straight from German, where it means man or mankind. As the Yiddish saying goes, “a mentsh tracht und Gott lacht” [Man plans and God laughs]. Along the way, mensch picked up other meanings. A second meaning that has passed from usage is as a synonym for servant. To be somebody’s mensch was once used as a slur by Yiddish writers such as Sholem Aleichem and David Pinski.
With Labor Day just one month a way, it’s tempting to celebrate white wine while you still can. Perhaps you’ve got a refrigerator filled with half bottles from your last garden party, or your wine cellar is overflowing with Chardonnay specials from the local liquor store. Think of it, too, as a last hurrah. When the sandals, shorts, and skin go back in the closet, a little inhibition follows. Fall carries with it a sense of seriousness, not to mention the High Holidays – so get your kicks now while you’ve still got summer as an excuse.
Anytime we can’t find or achieve something we really want, it’s hard not to get discouraged. But try to keep some perspective. The average age of marriage for men today is 28 — which means half are older than 28. Also, the more education a person has, the later it is he or she will probably marry. You are still well within the “normal” range that life partnerships happen these days.
With [two days off of work/Rosh Hashanah] over, it’s time to look forward to Yom Kippur. And as always, that means [apologizing for stuff that isn’t my fault/penance], because [God says I have to/it’s always good to take stock of where things stand with our loved ones]. So I am writing to set things right with [you jerks who crowd my space/my family and friends]. Since I [can’t be bothered to do this in person/couldn’t reach out to all of you in time], the mass communication method seems like the [best cop-out/most practical way to go].
Sorbets are one of my favorite treats. I make them all year round but especially in the summer. The farmers market offers inspiration for my flavors. Recently, the stalls were abundant with gorgeous tempting blackberries. Typically eaten out of hand, blackberries are fragrant and complex. Simple to make and a crowd pleaser, sorbets are perfect for summer or anytime.
As always we start our alphabet of improvement with the A’s: Attitude, Attention, Appreciation, and Affection. These aren’t the tools for refining your looks, but developing your strengths from the inside out. Men are obviously attracted to a woman who exhibits the Attitude of confidence and control. This poise will ultimately warrant positive Attention—and from the right kind of man. Once you’ve got their Attention, it is your job to show off your assets. To keep them coming back for more, it’s going to take a proper amount of Appreciation and Affection. Don’t put up walls, but keep yourself distant enough that you don’t seem desperate.
I’ll offer myself as just one example. In my early 20s, I had no interest in tying myself down with a permanent relationship. I was a late bloomer emotionally, and I was just beginning to find myself and what I wanted in life. I also used to joke that I had already been in a miserable 30+ year marriage — my parents’. It took me awhile to mature and acknowledge that just because they had a terrible marriage, that didn’t mean all marriages were terrible.
The art world, too, has often used “Jewess” to describe art with Orientalist—and sensual—overtones. According to Daniel Belasco, a curator at The Jewish Museum in New York, some works of art depict “Jewish women who used their wiles and their alluring sexuality.” In 1862, French sculptor Charles-Henri Cordier created a bust called “Jewess from Algiers,” which portrays a striking woman cloaked in Eastern garb; a striped headdress covers her hair, and her shoulders are draped in a voluminous and intricately detailed white cloth.
Finally, you give a whole range of “reasons” why you think your dates don’t like you, but I can’t tell what they are based on. You say it’s because you don’t have a college degree, but has anyone actually told you that? Then you say it’s because you aren’t their age, but you then admit you have had a date with a 29- and 36-year-old. So, that explanation doesn’t ring true.