Over the years, I‘ve learned some tricks of the trade to save as much time as possible while online dating.  Call me a gold-digger all you want, but when I evaluate profiles, I employ a specific method of attack.  First, I look at the pictures to make sure I can stand looking at him.  Next, I go straight to the line that lists his profession to make sure he could provide for my future two children. Then I read what he has to say in the written paragraphs.

Dear Matchmaker Rabbi,

I am wondering if I could get some insight in regards to being a convert attempting to be successful with dating Jewish men.

I’m almost 30 and feel like I am running out of resources and options. I have developed a great relationship with the members at the local Temple. I have asked my rabbi and was advised to try the black Jewish community. I did and was unsuccessful, as I have a feeling that the Jewish men I encounter are not so sure about dating me, as I haven’t completed conversion yet.

I also have had Jews consult with their rabbi about dating me as I do impress/scare the men to the point that they have to do so. I also participate in Jewish community events, as well as Jewish dating events, in order to ‘put myself out there’ so to speak.

1. Is it appropriate for a Jewish man/woman to date a convert while the convert is in the process of completing their conversion?
2. What could a convert do in order to show that they are dedicated to Judaism and all that entails, during a date, without having to regurgitate all of the information that the convert has spent years learning?
3. Would it be best if a convert just wait until the conversion process is complete before attempting to date a Jewish male/female?
4. What advice could you give to a convert who is trying their best, yet keeps getting rejected, and frankly, is finding Jewish dating to be a big disappointment, due to the lack of acceptance and constant requirement to prove their “Jewishness”?

– Committed

Since the pagan elements of trick-or-treating have effectively been “neutralized,” is it wrong to allow our children to participate? The Torah’s answer is “yes.” Through its prohibition of “foreign” customs, the Torah draws attention to its own uniqueness. Primitive people found themselves in an overwhelming, mysterious and threatening environment in the face of which they felt powerless and vulnerable. They created religious rituals and superstitions as a way of exerting magical influence over the forces of nature that they could not control physically. Man made religions thus reflected the fears, anxieties, hopes and fantasies of their adherents. The Torah is designed to challenge and educate human beings at the highest level of which they are capable—morally, intellectually and emotionally.

I’m not writing about how men our age love to sew.  Even the most credulous among you would not believe that.  Men may love to cook on the grill but when it comes to threading a needle, not only have they no interest, but their eyesight is going. 

Men our age love women with pinking shears.  That they apply.  To balls.  No, not balls of yarn.  Balls of self-confidence, ego and masculinity.  Men just love to get their balls snipped.

Ever received something like this?
The day, the dress
The bride, the groom
The joy, the tears
Will all come so soon
Professing true love
To my husband-to-be
With family and friends
All watching me
I hope the sun will
Be shining down,
Keep your fingers …

The last time I saw him, I asked him if he thought our relationship had a future. I have reasons to doubt that after all the months of waiting for him to act like we’re a couple, and make room for me in his life. His answer was that he wasn’t optimistic, and he struggles to be hopeful. He said he wanted to continue to be together, and we could “wait and see”. I ended the relationship after that. I feel terrible and miss him everyday. My heart isn’t into the dating scene at all. I understand that not all relationships are meant to be, but I’m confused by the mixed signals he gives me. I talk to other people who tell me that he hasn’t treated me as well as I deserve, and that I should accept that whatever his issues are, they are his issues, and I should move on. What do you think?

Dear Rabbi Singer, My marriage just ended.  I’ve very recently started searching through the profiles on JDate.  How do I know if I’m ready to take that next step, to start getting to know a new someone? Is there a certain amount of time I should wait? I’m not sure if I’m searching because I feel ready to start again or because I don’t want to be on my own.  Thank you for your help with this. On My Own.

This satisfying and riotously colored dish will please all of your sukkot and Shabbat guests.  I like to hollow out a pumpkin and roast it for 15 minutes, so that it is not raw, and then present the finished tagine in the beautiful, toasty-orange gourd for a big WOW presentation. I serve the tagine with my Pomegranate Glazed Chicken or braised pot roast.

I have never been a kugel enthusiast. I like the idea of comforting warm noodles baked with savory or sweet fixin’s , but the paradox is that I am not a fan of soft-mushy pasta. I guess it is because, as a chef, I struggle to serve perfect al dente pasta that is toothy and with a little bite left in it.  

Somehow my dislike for soft noodles does not translate to soft bread. I know this is not logical, but I am breaking my Yom Kippur fast with a warm, welcoming bread pudding. Even the name, Bread Pudding, screams COZINESS, and that is what I need after the fast.

But perhaps the best part of October is that it comes with an enormous amount of amazing dating opportunities.   As I always stress throughout my online dating advice, the one goal that we must have with online dating if we wish to find success, especially for us guys out there, is to be interesting and original.  This is the key to separating ourselves from the competition and not appearing to be just another “boring guy” that beautiful women have been approached by millions of times.