Question: “Being in my early 40′s, successful, not sure I’m going to have kids and single, I’m finding the qualities I seek in a man have shifted from those I sought in my 20′s and 30′s. I’m meeting some great guys, mostly online. They have their stuff together; they’re successful, maybe have kids and possess a lot of what I look for in a partner (fantastic on paper)…but, there’s no chemistry, no romantic connection and no physical interest. As much as I try to be open, I know a second date won’t stir that spark. If he asks me out again after that first date, what do I say and how do I be honest without hurting his feelings?”
Roles and rules in the world of dating have been jumbled in recent years. We are bombarded by a pop culture of television shows, movies, books and songs depicting men and women in traditional and non-traditional positions in the workplace, family, and relationships. It can be hard to tell which of the old rules of dating still apply — and which ones even your grandparents would consider out of style.
It’s a problem we all face:
You find an attractive someone on a dating site. You craft a witty, fun, complimentary and intelligent email and send it off, and two weeks go by with no reply. What gives? You’re not a freak. Your picture is hot. You’ve carefully chosen corroborating pictures that make you look socially well-adjusted and fun, and you (and your mother) consider yourself a solid catch. What happened?
The answer is simple. You’ve made a mistake so common; no one even knows there’s a better way. Prepare to be enlightened.
One of the best features on JDate is the ability to upload your photos as well as view photos of potential matches. Most people will sort through photos before reading somebody’s profile. When people don’t have photos on their profile, or have photos of themselves in group shots or the photo was taken from a distance, fewer potential matches will peruse their profiles. Knowing that, wouldn’t it make sense to update and upgrade your profile photos?
In the Q&A following a conference presentation the other evening, I received an interesting question from a 37-year-old man who asked, “It seems that the women I encounter sign off on never-married men who are on the plus side of 35. Do you find that social stigmas and stereotypes surrounding bachelors still persist and, if so, are they on the rise?”
There are certain questions that we must all address before those first few dates. What to do, where to go and how to keep the conversation flowing can be sources of angst for many single people. There are so many variables that come into play, from choosing a suitable meeting spot or finding a fun (affordable) activity, to dealing with the “getting to know you” lulls, that it’s easy to understand how the prospect of an evening out can become just another laborious chore…
Few people realized that last week, the third week in September, was National Singles Week (often referred to as Unmarried and Single Americans Week). Many assume that this is just another Hallmark Holiday, but probably had not considered the fact that a whopping 96 million Americans 18 years old and older are single (never-married, divorced or widowed).
“If you have two friends in your lifetime, you’re lucky. If you have one good friend, you’re more than lucky.” Or so the saying goes. But friends drift apart, move away or tie the knot.
The key to success on JDate is a well-written profile. By joining JDate, you have taken a big step toward finally meeting Mr./Mrs. Right as opposed to Mr./Mrs. Right Now. Since you are now serious about finding somebody special, take the time one evening to fully complete your entire profile, especially the essays.
It happens every year when the first cool wind blows through the air right after Labor Day, and just like that, our attention turns to fashion, football and must-see TV. As the nights get colder and the clothing gets comfier and cozier, it becomes increasingly easy to put your love life on hold until the next sign of Spring.