When you have a friend with benefits, you have someone whom you can call anytime of day; not just for a hookup, but also for companionship. You may go out with them to a movie or dinner, but you know at the end of the day, there are no pressures or expectations. But is having a friend with benefits actually beneficial?
Like most everyone, I was brought up to believe that romance and falling in love is indeed a very specific, time-tested process. Everyone seems to think that after you meet someone, you need to date for a while (sometimes for years) and then eventually decide if you want to marry this person.
Sometimes it takes someone outside of your circle of friends and family to have the perspective of seeing your life and problems as they truly are… and offering some insight into resolving them. I believe I am that person for you. I see so clearly where you have gone astray romantically, and exactly what you need to get back on track. Renee, here it is in a nutshell: you need a Jewish man.
They say death happens in threes. I’m not really sure who ‘they’ actually are, nor am I really sure how many rounds of old fashions ‘they’ were kicking back while concocting this debatable little theory, but last year I became a believer… and, unfortunately, an unwilling observer.
Should you date an ex’s friend? Should you date a friend’s ex? Should you date someone you know your friend was once interested in, but never dated?
As a young, Jewish single, I am going to use myself as a case study for this article. To give some context, I estimate I went on about 75-100 dates before I turned 25 – yet none of the women I dated grew up Jewish. It wasn’t that I was opposed to dating Jewish women; I just never had. Now that I am 28, however; the tides have turned…
So I’m having a Rat Pack moment the other day, sipping a martini and listening to Frank Sinatra singing “L.A. Is My Lady,” a song in which he uses the City of Angels metaphorically for his romantic relationships. Yeah, it’s just a typical Thursday for me, when it strikes me that my own version of the Chairman of the Board’s hit would be “Writing Is My Lady.”
Living in New York City, I attend numerous events, functions and get-togethers for Shabbat dinners with my friends. No matter where I am, if it involves singles (and it usually does), everyone is having the same conversation. In short, people are complaining that New York City is a horrible city to live if your goal is to find a long-term relationship or marriage. But is it really?
As someone in her mid-thirties who has had more than her fair share of dates, my parent’s words ring in my ears loudly: “Stop looking for perfection.” To that I think, I’m not looking for perfection, just the perfect person for me. However, after a while, I start questioning myself. Are they right? Are my standards too high? Am I searching for the impossible and not giving people enough of a chance?