Should you date an ex’s friend? Should you date a friend’s ex? Should you date someone you know your friend was once interested in, but never dated?
As a young, Jewish single, I am going to use myself as a case study for this article. To give some context, I estimate I went on about 75-100 dates before I turned 25 – yet none of the women I dated grew up Jewish. It wasn’t that I was opposed to dating Jewish women; I just never had. Now that I am 28, however; the tides have turned…
So I’m having a Rat Pack moment the other day, sipping a martini and listening to Frank Sinatra singing “L.A. Is My Lady,” a song in which he uses the City of Angels metaphorically for his romantic relationships. Yeah, it’s just a typical Thursday for me, when it strikes me that my own version of the Chairman of the Board’s hit would be “Writing Is My Lady.”
Living in New York City, I attend numerous events, functions and get-togethers for Shabbat dinners with my friends. No matter where I am, if it involves singles (and it usually does), everyone is having the same conversation. In short, people are complaining that New York City is a horrible city to live if your goal is to find a long-term relationship or marriage. But is it really?
As someone in her mid-thirties who has had more than her fair share of dates, my parent’s words ring in my ears loudly: “Stop looking for perfection.” To that I think, I’m not looking for perfection, just the perfect person for me. However, after a while, I start questioning myself. Are they right? Are my standards too high? Am I searching for the impossible and not giving people enough of a chance?
Oh, my synagogue sweetheart. The Jews may be God’s chosen people, but you are my chosen woman. Let me lead you upstairs now, much like Moses led our Jewish ancestors out of captivity in Egypt.
Robin Rosenaur recounts the struggle of holding on to her faith in love through a long string of first dates!
One of the loneliest, most challenging activities and times of day for singles who’ve not yet met their JDate Beshert is climbing into that big empty bed, late at night, all alone. But that need not be the case. You see, even when I don’t have a current romantic partner, I’m never alone at night in my bed. Why? Because joining me are the living memories of my past failed relationships.
Take a stroll through your local bookstore and you’ll find self-help guides telling you what to say during a job interview, a funeral, a corporate speech – even a conversation with a dolphin. Nowhere, however, will you find even one paragraph describing what might be appropriate to say to your lover while making love… until now.
I’ll start off with full disclosure, I’m a JDater® just like you, and have been on this site longer than I ever imagined, so clearly, I don’t have all of the answers. I do, however, have some of the answers, and will attempt to provide some insight as to why you’re not hearing back from women when you reach out.