For many Jews, the High Holidays can be fraught with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and regret. And that goes double if you’re a chicken doomed to end up as soup. Or don’t know what fraught means. But even for us humans, one of the reasons for this holiday melancholy is our tendency to idealize High Holidays and synagogue services past, succumbing to precious memories of friends and relatives who’ve moved away, grown away, or passed away. We’d give anything for one more holiday meal with them. Even Uncle Jake, with his same corny jokes and pull-my-finger trick every meal.
“It was an honor being chosen as the Chosen JDater,” Jeremy said. “I had a lot of fun reading about the women who entered to win a date with me. It was refreshing to see that there were women who shared a lot of the same values as me.”
The best way to keep your motivation and excitement for a first date is by taking initiative with whom we go out with. Too many online daters are guilty of being way too passive, letting the emails role in, and only responding to those that contact us first. This may be easier since we save tons of time performing searches and emailing, but it is the easiest way to fall into the trap of becoming a “serial dater.”
As I mentioned in last month’s column, wooing in a romantic relationship is apparently either on its way out, or has been out for a long, long time. But apparently that doesn’t always mean that delaying sexual gratification is on its way out. It just means that wooing may have been replaced by a little something called “establishing a foundation of friendship.” One difference – wooing generally originated from the man; the desire or request for the foundation of friendship invariably originates from the woman.
As somewhat of an expert when it comes to deciphering online profiles (yup, I can tell which guy will arrive late and expect to split the bill and which girl has very few interests outside of herself), here are a few tips to help you. And, some of these even apply to real-life dating!
There is a standard recipe for most dates when you meet someone online. First, you get a phone number. Second, you make the call. Third, you set up a casual first date. While some of us tend to get creative with our first date plans, most of us opt for something easier like meeting for drinks which is a smart and effective way to meet someone new for the first time. The great thing about meeting for drinks is that it won’t cost you much, it allows you to relax when you may otherwise feel nervous, and it typically doesn’t come with much implied pressure. With that said, you still need to be careful when it comes to choosing the right location for this date idea.
The Great Date contest has a winner and we think it just may be Beshert!
I wish I lived 200 years ago so I could woo a woman the way single men did back then. Who even uses the word “woo” anymore, much less knows what it means? Who even gives much thought at all to what they say to the opposite sex? Maybe Kanye West, but the rest of us – not so much. The media and the MTV generation and life’s increasingly rapid pace have pretty much finished off traditional courtship, replacing “wooing” with “hitting on” or “coming on to” or “making your move.” It’s so sad. Where’s the poetry? Where’s the passion? Where’s the heart? For many of us men, unfortunately, it’s all in our pants. Okay, I’ll speak for myself.
Brad Pitt, Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney; I’m sure you are all really nice people, and I mean that. However, you are making the online dating lives of men who want to get into serious relationships around the world much more difficult. I know it’s not your fault; you’re just acting the parts that were written for you. Still, the problem is that women see your movies and expect these hopeless romantic stories to become their reality.
A few months ago I wrote an article about using online dating sites like JDate to meet someone that might live (way) outside your zip code. It’s not to say that the process is easy, many people won’t even bother to have a conversation with someone who’s not geographically desirable, but you’ll come across the few who will — and the even fewer with which you’ll have something in common. One conversation leads to another, you eventually meet in person, and your romance begins. So what happens if you do meet someone special?