If you are failing to successfully meet women online, odds are there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. However, there may be something wrong with the techniques and approaches you are using to make a connection with these women. To help you understand what I mean, I’ll compare approaching beautiful women in bars to attracting these same women online.
I’m always a little reluctant to share with people where I’m from. When asked, I start by saying I’m from “Miami,” giving them a general taste and geographical contextual idea that I’m from the southern part of Florida (which should never be confused with the conservative, accent drawling ‘ridians from the North).
There is one dating turnoff that kills more potential relationships than any known to man. Even worse, millions of men across the world are committing this deadly sin every single day. The question is, are you guilty of this mistake?
What follows, then, is a woman’s guide to the inner workings of a man’s brain. Read it and weep. And, just a short note to my male readers–please don’t hate me because I am honest.
Every now and then, the boys and I like to venture out and pick up women in “real life.” Sometimes I just can’t help but laugh when I overhear women telling my friends how cute or sexy they are. The reason I laugh is because some of the guys I hang around are far from the great looking (sorry boys, I owe you a round)! These guys are short (5’5’’), skinny (stick-figure style), pale (almost sickly), you get the idea. Still, women are not mocking them when they are calling them sexy. They actually think these guys are attractive.
For many Jews, the High Holidays can be fraught with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and regret. And that goes double if you’re a chicken doomed to end up as soup. Or don’t know what fraught means. But even for us humans, one of the reasons for this holiday melancholy is our tendency to idealize High Holidays and synagogue services past, succumbing to precious memories of friends and relatives who’ve moved away, grown away, or passed away. We’d give anything for one more holiday meal with them. Even Uncle Jake, with his same corny jokes and pull-my-finger trick every meal.
“It was an honor being chosen as the Chosen JDater,” Jeremy said. “I had a lot of fun reading about the women who entered to win a date with me. It was refreshing to see that there were women who shared a lot of the same values as me.”
The best way to keep your motivation and excitement for a first date is by taking initiative with whom we go out with. Too many online daters are guilty of being way too passive, letting the emails role in, and only responding to those that contact us first. This may be easier since we save tons of time performing searches and emailing, but it is the easiest way to fall into the trap of becoming a “serial dater.”
As I mentioned in last month’s column, wooing in a romantic relationship is apparently either on its way out, or has been out for a long, long time. But apparently that doesn’t always mean that delaying sexual gratification is on its way out. It just means that wooing may have been replaced by a little something called “establishing a foundation of friendship.” One difference – wooing generally originated from the man; the desire or request for the foundation of friendship invariably originates from the woman.
As somewhat of an expert when it comes to deciphering online profiles (yup, I can tell which guy will arrive late and expect to split the bill and which girl has very few interests outside of herself), here are a few tips to help you. And, some of these even apply to real-life dating!