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As I mentioned in last month’s column, wooing in a romantic relationship is apparently either on its way out, or has been out for a long, long time. But apparently that doesn’t always mean that delaying sexual gratification is on its way out. It just means that wooing may have been replaced by a little something called “establishing a foundation of friendship.” One difference – wooing generally originated from the man; the desire or request for the foundation of friendship invariably originates from the woman.
I wish I lived 200 years ago so I could woo a woman the way single men did back then. Who even uses the word “woo” anymore, much less knows what it means? Who even gives much thought at all to what they say to the opposite sex? Maybe Kanye West, but the rest of us – not so much. The media and the MTV generation and life’s increasingly rapid pace have pretty much finished off traditional courtship, replacing “wooing” with “hitting on” or “coming on to” or “making your move.” It’s so sad. Where’s the poetry? Where’s the passion? Where’s the heart? For many of us men, unfortunately, it’s all in our pants. Okay, I’ll speak for myself.
According to a recent research study, three of the hardest things on the planet are diamonds, iron, and dating after divorce. After your divorce, you pretty much have to go back to school. You need to relearn how to love and trust, which is increasingly more difficult in our disposable-relationship society. Women know that if any man cannot provide what they want, the next man who can provide it could be just one JDate click away.
The weekend had arrived, romance was in the air, and after several hard days at work, I was so in the mood for love. I was looking good, feeling good, had a wallet filled with cash, and was ready, willing and able to do anything my hot, beautiful date desired. Life was filled with sweet potential. There was just one tiny problem – I didn’t have a hot, beautiful date. Despite all the bounty on JDate, I didn’t have a date, period. I was the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle. I was Dateless in Los Angeles.
It was a warm April afternoon – the kind of afternoon that said, “Kick off your shoes, pick up the Talmud, pour yourself a cup of borscht with a dollop of sour cream, and while the day away.” But I was not to have the relaxing pleasure of that kind of afternoon. Not that day. For there was a knock at the door. Oh, by the way, my name is Rabinowitz. Shlomo Rabinowitz. And I’m a JPE — Jewish Private Eye. My specialty? Affairs of the heart.
JMag contributor Mark Miller loves Jewish women! Of course, that’s no surprise. As Miller points out, there is a unique connection to a shared culture, history, religion and tradition that just fits. And although Miller has certainly dated his share of non-Jewish women, he has plenty of reasons to believe he will ultimately wind up with a Jewish woman. Do you love Jewish women too? Read his column and then share what it is about Jewish women that makes you love them as well!
Psssst… I have a confession to make, and I have to get it off my chest. Not only do I not have the typical male problem of an inability to commit to a romantic relationship; I seem to have the exact opposite syndrome. You see, I commit way too often and too easily. Say I’m on a coffee date that appears to be going well. The woman is attractive, the conversation intelligent, entertaining and flows smoothly. You might think she’s interested in me. I certainly do.
Believe it or not, the life of the single Jewish person isn’t all nerve-wracking pain, disappointment, frustration, stress and heartache. Okay, perhaps I’m being overly optimistic. But there are a couple of positive things to be said about being single. No, really! For example, the world is filled with fascinating occupations and I’ve gained invaluable experience in most of them simply through dating. As a result, my resume is now thirty-four pages long. But I use a smaller font, so it seems more like seventeen.
There are men who manage to go through their entire dating lives without stress, anxiety, failure, offending anyone or being offended, rejecting anyone or being rejected, without encountering even one dating dilemma or disaster. They, instead, have smooth, successful, joyous, passionate, love-filled, worry-free dating lives without incident. Do such men really exist? Yes! Do they truly have such idyllic dating lives? Indeed they do. Can you find them on JDate? Sadly, no. Then, who are these men? Well, as it turns out, they’re called — fictitious characters. You’ll find them in books, plays, TV shows and movies, but you certainly won’t find them in real life because they are fantasy figures, much like Zeus, Harry Potter, or a viable Presidential candidate.
From the very start, Jews and Jewish humor figured prominently. “Saturday Night Live waved the wand and said ‘Let there be Jews,’ and there were Jews, on the network, on the show, openly discussing their lives in sketches, as writers and actors,” says Marilyn Suzanne Miller, one of the show’s original writers.