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So I’m having a Rat Pack moment the other day, sipping a martini and listening to Frank Sinatra singing “L.A. Is My Lady,” a song in which he uses the City of Angels metaphorically for his romantic relationships. Yeah, it’s just a typical Thursday for me, when it strikes me that my own version of the Chairman of the Board’s hit would be “Writing Is My Lady.”
Oh, my synagogue sweetheart. The Jews may be God’s chosen people, but you are my chosen woman. Let me lead you upstairs now, much like Moses led our Jewish ancestors out of captivity in Egypt.
One of the loneliest, most challenging activities and times of day for singles who’ve not yet met their JDate Beshert is climbing into that big empty bed, late at night, all alone. But that need not be the case. You see, even when I don’t have a current romantic partner, I’m never alone at night in my bed. Why? Because joining me are the living memories of my past failed relationships.
So before you let yourself be swept away by someone new, give your JDate match this fool-proof quiz to see just how Jewish they truly are! If they can’t answer correctly, but you can, you may want to reconsider labeling them your Beshert!
Okay, I’ll admit it – we men excel at messing up our romantic lives. This is why romantic songs and movies and Hallmark cards are so popular – among women.
Ladies and gentlemen, fellow members of the Chosen People, and fellow JDaters®, I come to you today with a confession and a request. My confession: I have experienced approximately 750 coffee dates. That’s right—I have had a one-date connection with 750 women. My request: Kill me now.
Women sometimes accuse men of being interested in only one thing. And it’s not Scrabble. And I’ll admit that occasionally we are only interested in one thing…
Years ago, when I met someone who had life-partner potential, someone who could be my first real adult relationship, I held on tighter than Donald Trump to a bad hair style.
Is there a 12-step program for Jewish singles? If so, sign me up for the JDA – Jewish Date-aholics Anonymous.
What follows, then, is a woman’s guide to the inner workings of a man’s brain. Read it and weep. And, just a short note to my male readers–please don’t hate me because I am honest.