Dear Rabbi Singer,

I need some advice. I am not getting any interest from men using online dating. I am considering lying about my age to see if that helps… I know honesty is the best policy, but I also want a date!

-Does age matter?

Dear Rabbi Singer,

I know distance can be a barrier, but is there any trick to starting a long-distance relationship when you’ve never met in person? I’m looking to move across the country this fall and have already started searching JDate for new guys who live in my future community. How do you start a relationship online, and keep a spark until you get the chance to meet face to face?

Dear Rabbi Singer,

I’ve been on JDate for a few weeks. There are several men I’m interested in meeting, but I’ve been burned on other dating sites by emailing men and never hearing back. I’m pretty, thin, successful, funny and smart.  Dating is never a problem once I meet someone. However, it seems like the online space is a man’s playground where women need to wait to be picked. Is there some way to get on a man’s radar on JDate that isn’t too forward and gets the conversation going?

-Should I Write or Wait?

Dear Rabbi Singer,

Both my parents are very liberal and don’t have much, if any, religious affiliation. However, I decided that Judaism is the right way of life and have considered myself a Jew for the longest time. I intend to perpetuate it by raising Jewish kids and having a Jewish home. Unfortunately, many Jews I know view me as incomplete when they compare me to themselves, which was not an issue and nothing my over-confident character couldn’t handle.

Dear Rabbi Singer,

I recently went out on a first date that lasted till 3 am. We had soooo much to talk about and share. Now it’s 8 days later and I haven’t heard a peep from him, although I see that he’s still active on JDate. Any ideas why this happens?  I think it’s quite common.

I am a somewhat fanatical atheist from a primarily Jewish family (3 of 4 grandparents). My values regarding family and community, as well as my own cultural self identification, are very much aligned with Judaism. I attended some Hebrew school under duress, but eventually got my way and opted out. I often argue that being an American Jew is an identity that extends and can exist separately from religion and faith, but I know that this position is often in the minority.

I love dating and being with Jewish men. But, it seems that everyone wants to have kids. I enjoy being around children, at least part time. But having my own is not an option. Should I even continue looking? Or should I give up and move on to other religions?

Dear Rabbi,
I have to say, I’m really out of touch when it comes to this whole “online dating scene”.  You see, being 39 and single (and struggling just to make new friends in this town I’ve lived in for almost 15 yrs) has been downright exhausting!  I’ve turned to temples, synagogues, JCCAs and the Jewish Federation for help, and now I feel like the only direction to go is online.  Even though I’ve tried this online scene before and failed, I keep coming back to it because everyone says this is where you’ll meet people, this is where you’ll meet your beshuva, to which I reply, “bah humbug” (for a lack of better words!!!).

When we met, sparks flew from the first moment. Neither of us have ever experienced anything like it… he said the following:

1. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my sober existence
2. I have never had a better time than the time we spend together
3. You have so much going for you- you’re brilliant, beautiful, and you have a great career
4. We are two halves of the same whole

Ok, so when a man feels all of these things supposedly, how could he just let me go like that?

A man from California contacted me online.  I live in DC. I wrote to him that while he seemed like a great guy, how were we supposed to date being 3,000 miles apart? He wrote and said he was from this area, and he comes back here to take care of his elderly parents frequently.  So, we started emailing back and forth like crazy and then talking on the phone.  After about six weeks, he said he was coming back here to see me and see his parents, in that order. We met and hit it off immediately. We saw each other several times during that visit. When he went back to San Diego, we continued emailing and calling. He came back here about two months later and again we had a great time together. I was falling in love, and from everything he said and did, the feeling was mutual. I thought a miracle had happened. This went on for almost a year. Then, he said he had something very serious to tell me the next time he saw me. Turned out to be that he is MARRIED.  I WAS FLABBERGASTED!!!!