Articles tagged with: Erika Ettin
Some might say I’m an impulsive person. I get an idea, and I act on it. Case in point: Quitting my former job and starting A Little Nudge. (Perhaps that was more of a well-researched impulsion!) Basically, when I want something, I go for it. And yet, I’ve learned that in dating, slow and steady wins the race.
In this day and age, sex runs rampant throughout pop culture. There are TV shows (Sex and the City was a personal favorite), songs, and plenty of movies that go into far more detail than I care to.
Finally – you’ve met someone on JDate! You went on a first date, and you kind of liked each other. Then you went on a second date, and you liked each other a little more. You went on a third date, and thoughts of exclusivity started permeating your mind. So, when is it time to take down your online dating profile? Should it be after a certain number of dates? Or, after you’ve had “the talk”? Maybe it should happen after you’ve changed your Facebook® status to “in a relationship” (the tell-tale sign for younger people these days)? Or, is unsubscribing from online dating site emails enough?
When you peruse the online dating sites, many of the profiles say some variation of the exact same thing. Often, we don’t learn anything about the person we hope to date! The key to online dating is to differentiate yourself, lest you fall into “Generic Profile Land.” Some common phrases to avoid include…
In almost every aspect of life, we go after the things we want. Not happy in a job? Search for a new one. Some recent weight gain getting you down? Up the ante during your workouts. Why is it then, in dating, we think happiness will just find us? It’s as if we think we have a sign on our foreheads flashing, “Single and ready to mingle!” Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works. In online dating, writing a great profile is only half the battle. To really be successful, you have to be proactive and e-mail people of interest.
When you’re putting yourself out there in the vast online dating pool, it’s important to take the time to read and re-read your profile to make sure that “your” not messing up easy words and hurting your chance to find the perfect match. Robert Thaler and Cass Sunstein, the authors of the book “Nudge” (which has nothing to do with my business), point out that it’s often the important decisions – the 401(k) and the health care plan – that get the shaft, while we spend more time and energy doing the much smaller tasks. As they observe, “… 58 percent [of those in a survey] spent less than one hour determining both their contribution rate and investment decisions [for their 401(k)]. Most people spend more time than that picking a new tennis racket or television set.” They also note that once the investment decision is made, the choices are rarely, if ever, looked at again.
Keep it fresh. That sounds like something we’d probably see on a head of lettuce at the supermarket. Or maybe it’s something some rapper would say on his new album. But, when I say, “Keep it fresh,” believe it or not, I’m talking about your JDate profile.
A lot of people recently stated their New Year’s resolution as, “I will find love in 2012.” If you’re one of those people, read on to find out how you can make this the year you find “The One”!
A picture’s worth a thousand words… but 10 pictures are a waste of time. Now that Facebook® has taken over the world, when it comes to online dating profiles, people often confuse the concept of posting just a few flattering pictures with posting a whole album. I have no doubt that your pictures from your trip to Greece with you standing on the Acropolis are amazing… just remember, there’s a time and a place for them, and that place is not JDate®. When choosing which photos to put in your online dating profile, use these five rules of thumb:
People join online dating sites for many reasons: To find an activity partner, a friend, a date, a long-term relationship, marriage, or marriage and children. JDate is even nice enough to lay out all of these choices side-by-side for us. All it takes is the click of a button or two to list what we’d like to find in our online dating adventure. Curiously enough, “pen pal” is not an option. In fact, nothing of the sort is listed – not “letter-writer,” “someone to keep me occupied at work,” or “e-mail buddy.” Nope – it’s just not a choice. Why? Because people do not join online dating sites to simply e-mail back and forth. People are looking to form a relationship, not an e-lationship.
Online dating isn’t easy, which many people don’t realize. They think they can just throw a profile up there and wait. No way, Jose. That’s like walking into a bar and just plopping yourself on a stool without even trying to make conversation with anyone. It’s just not going to work. I also realized that many people do not want to put in the work, which is what led to starting my own business, A Little Nudge. I give people a little nudge in their online dating lives because I truly think it’s the way to meet.