I’m in love with “The One.” He is a dream come true, but has been hurt badly by other women and has trust issues. He is afraid to show me he cares, thinking I will hurt his feelings. What should I do? I care for him so much.

I guess what I have been looking for is someone whom I can spiritually grow with, and who is possibly into Kabbalah, as that is a main passion of mine; it is what brought me into Judaism. However, I have been getting a sense that Kabbalah is considered a Neanderthal belief system. Is this considered a turn off to women in the Jewish community?

I am everything a man could want: outgoing, witty, warm, caring, fun, educated, athletic, confident, musician, professional, mentally and financially stable. I’ve been on every website, dated lots of men, gone to many single weekends, but I just can’t find the one. I feel it’s because perhaps men feel intimidated by me and my accomplishments; they don’t want to travel to date; they are commitment-phobics; they are not mentally and financially stable. What should I do?

Love isn’t just about finding someone. It’s about keeping them. If you are only focusing on the finding, and not on the keeping, how can you ever hope to achieve a lasting partnership, which is what you profess to want?

Relationships don’t fail. It’s relationship skills that fail. Skills can be learned. Are you actively studying and learning those skills now? Well, you should be.

How do you know which of your partner criteria you should hold out for forever? Which are the ones it’s okay to compromise on? The longer you are single, the harder it becomes to figure it out.

Most people shy away from stating political views in their profiles – but that looks like a big mistake. It may attract more dates, but long marriages tend to be among partners with similar political ideologies.

I have been dating a man who has been divorced for two years but was married for 37 years. He said he wants to get married again, but he’s been hurt and has built walls up. Sometimes he is not dependable and seems to run from his feelings for me. He is just under 60 years old and I am in my middle 50s with no time to waste. What is your advice?
– In a Quandary

I have been dating a woman for a few months now. I’m a substitute teacher seeking a full time job. I also work as a pet sitter and in a retail store part time. I barely make $30,000 a year. She is a pharmaceutical rep for 25 years making at least six figures. She thought she could get past my wages and not having my own place, but it eats her up inside. She is afraid she has fallen for me, and I have fallen for her. Now she is asking to just be friends.

Anytime we can’t find or achieve something we really want, it’s hard not to get discouraged. But try to keep some perspective. The average age of marriage for men today is 28 — which means half are older than 28. Also, the more education a person has, the later it is he or she will probably marry. You are still well within the “normal” range that life partnerships happen these days.