As I was getting ready for a date on Saturday night I began to think about my body language and what I am really saying with my non-verbal communication. I look at the body language cues my clients are always sharing with me, but my own have never been that important to me, at least in the dating arena. Of course there is always my grandmother’s voice in the back of my head reminding me to watch my posture and stop tapping my legs. But that is neither here nor there. She wants me to find a nice Jewish man so I kept those reminders with me during my date last Saturday night, too.
Remember learning how to interview? What is the cardinal rule? Eye contact! The more eye contact the better, that is if you are interested, of course. I was well aware of my eye contact last Saturday and it worked. I gave him long gazes and didn’t turn away, even when I was feeling uncomfortable or unsure of myself. Now, don’t get me wrong I wasn’t staring at him all night long, but I was giving him enough eye contact so that he was aware I was interested in what he had to say. I remained very aware of the times I looked away and made a conscious effort not to stare at other restaurant patrons, the ceiling, or the floor. I kept my focus on him.
I made sure my stance was open and inviting. I did not cross my arms and did everything in my power to ensure my body was facing him throughout the date. I leaned forward on a few occasions, just so he knew I was paying attention.
I made sure to laugh, give him open lipped smiles, touch his arm when the moment seemed right, and tilt my head every so often.
None of these non-verbal tasks were difficult, but that’s because I was interested. Since I was so keenly aware of what I was doing, I decided to study his body language throughout the evening as well. He initiated and returned my eye contact. He never crossed his arms, and he leaned in towards me on several occasions. We began to mirror each another using a completely non-verbal language. My findings? He called- we are going out again this Saturday. Wish me luck.