After 30 years of nagging by my mother (well, she didn’t start when I was born, so let’s say – at least 14 years – it felt like 30!) and a recent berating by my younger sister, I decided to make every attempt and truly try to date someone Jewish. I am not saying I never dated anyone Jewish, but it was never serious. So I put all the feelers out there to everyone that I knew from different Jewish organizations, to see if they knew anyone that was single, Jewish, attractive, fun…surprisingly, the majority told me to try JDate. Internet dating? Strange…maybe? My younger sister dabbled in it a little…oh well…I’ll try.
Wow! This is fun! Who’s online…Who’s looking at my profile…Who’s Flirting with me…Who should I Flirt with? Email? What should I write? Should I be funny? Sincere? Inquisitive? Did JDate tell me that someone emailed me? I went on several dates, had a decent time, even dated someone for a little while – but no match. I turned my profile off and started dating someone not from JDate for a few months. That relationship didn’t go anywhere. There I was – a little older, not much wiser, but back on JDate; and here came the euphoria again. Who looked at my profile? What should I write now? Did they respond? It was addictive! I logged on several times during the day…it almost became like a mini job – but it was fun! Unfortunately, no serious match again, so I turned my profile off and dated someone outside JDate. This back and forth happened for the next few years. As soon as any current relationship ended, I found myself back on JDate. JDate was like this comfortable, trustworthy sweatshirt. The one you always go back to. You know it, how it feels, how it keeps you warm…
The last time I “turned on” my JDate profile before logging off for good was in the beginning of 2007. There she was; an adorable blonde – holding two small dogs in her hands – smiling infectiously. Now came the euphoria again…what should I write? Will she reply? I opted for simple and sincere. She replied. A few emails back and forth, talked on the phone a bit – we planned to meet with a group of friends in a downtown lounge. I dragged a couple buddies; she was going to drag a girlfriend. My friends and I showed up. They didn’t. Then she called, her friend was a no show. It was still early, there was still hope (I was hoping). Several more calls, her friend was still a no show. So while she was at home, and I was out with my friends, we talked several of times on the phone at length. Looking at my watch I realized that it was 1 am, she was still home, I was still out, but we were still talking. The next thing I know, I was driving home to get a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts (from a recent trip to Hawaii – and her favorite!), and driving to meet her. I showed up to Margarita’s house at 2 am (the same night we were supposed to meet). She came out with her two dogs. Our first date consisted of dog walking for two hours at 2 am all the while having a wonderful conversation. I can’t even begin to describe the way I felt driving back home after meeting her. I was excited, thrilled, had butterflies, couldn’t wait to see her again.
Our next several dates consisted of a baseball game, lunch, the symphony, a house party – with lots of conversation, and tons of chemistry! I was hooked. I felt like a little kid at a toy store for the first time. So excited and thrilled every time we talked, every time we saw each other, every time she smiled, she laughed…We were inseparable! I never imagined that there was anyone out there that was truly my partner; someone that understood me, the real me.
Margarita and I “officially” moved in together on January 1, 2008. On November 14, 2008, after nervously pacing around the house before a dinner that we were hosting and driving Margarita nuts, I asked her to give me a few minutes of her time. Her evening had been stressful organizing the dinner, but she complied. I held her hand and said how in-love with her I was, how happy she makes me feel…Then I dropped down on one knee, took a little box out of my pocket and asked, “Would you make me the happiest man in the world and spend the rest of your life with me?” After exclaiming 29 times “Oh my God!” and “Is this for real?” she finally said “YES!!!!!!!”
We were married on April 5th, 2009.
Tips for other JDaters:
The best thing about how Margarita and my relationship started was that from the beginning we were 100% honest with each other about everything. About what we felt, what we thought. What we liked or disliked. We didn’t play any games. It was wonderful!
Thanks JDate. Thank you so much for always being there!
Margarita & Avi
San Diego, California