“Oops I did it again.”
That’s what 37 year old Caroline from Chicago said when she fell for yet another married man she met online. Apparently Caroline’s penchant for men who are attached is not uncommon among single women. According to a study released by researchers at Oklahoma State University, single women were more attracted a man when they thought he was married or taken – a phenomenon labeled “mate poaching.”
Not that everyone acts upon it, and it isn’t just single women who get involved with married men, but the role of single women as home wreckers is unfortunately not a new one. But, also consider the married male subjects who tested positive for being more attracted to single women in that very study. If you follow the same logic, they too are as guilty, if not more, of violating their marriage vows.
Lest we point fingers and blame it on psychological tendencies, the real issue is of infidelity being encouraged and perpetuated by the ease with which the Internet allows rogues to find and connect with unsuspecting singles, like Caroline. In fact, according to MSNBC, research shows that up to 1/3 of people using online dating services are married.
So in our never ending search to find true love online, an elephant that remains in the (chat) room is whether or not the person on the other side of the screen is married. The next time you’re in doubt, here are some clues that may help you figure out if a guy or gal is double dipping:
1. They insist on meeting you at odd hours and in dark, remote or secluded places.
2. They put off introducing you to anyone in their life.
3. They avoid taking telephone calls when the two of you are together.
4. They have you programmed into their phone under a business name, a nickname or some other inconspicuous name.
5. They do not give you their home telephone number.
6. They often have to leave unexpectedly or cancel plans at the last minute.
7. They leave the room whenever their cell phone rings.
8. They are always busy on weekends and holidays.
9. They refuse to get intimate. (You’d be surprised how many people cheat emotionally but are too afraid to cross the line when it comes to sex!)
Finally, remember to trust your gut. Don’t ever ignore your internal alarm system, as chances are good that your conscience is telling you something that your outer senses may be overlooking.