He’s cute, smart and successful, but after a year as a JDate.com Subscriber, 38-year-old Darren was getting tired of being rejected by the women he tried to connect with online. He lamented “they just don’t respond to any of my notes and I don’t understand what I am doing wrong,” when he decided to enlist some online dating help from SingleEdition.com.
His essays were sweet and nicely written, and his preferences realistic and not too narrow in scope, so why was this eligible bachelor not getting the attention he deserved from female JDaters? It became evident after one quick assessment where the problem lay – the images that Darren selected to publish in his personal profile were not optimal. And this was not a comment on his looks, but rather how he presented himself.
Some people are too afraid to post personal pictures while others upload a gallery of inappropriate photographs. How can you tell for certain if those candid shots you selected are doing you justice? Experience has led us to believe that there is indeed a “science” to selecting the right image. Here are five helpful tips to figure it out:
Choosing the Right Image
1. No Picture, No Play – If you are nervous about getting busted by friends or colleagues, too shy to share or scared for your safety, think again. The single most important element of creating an attractive online profile is the inclusion of a personal image. In fact, studies reveal that 85% of online daters would not connect with someone without a picture. Adding one picture can grow your prospect pool dramatically and a lack thereof may explain why your profile is stagnating.
2. Skip the Body Shots – Those abs of steel you reveal may increase your click through rate but let’s face it – no one wants to date a person whose midriff has been circulating in the Jewish community, no matter how big the city you live in may be. So do yourself a favor and save those beach body images for a later date. If you must, shots that hint at that marvelous physique are better than those where you look like a show-off.
3. Posing with the Posse: Group shots make it difficult for potential candidates to spot who you are. They can also send the wrong message – as the expression goes you are judged by the friends you keep. If you’re in the market to meet a serious mate, a picture of you and your buddies downing shots may send the wrong impression.
4. Keep Your Ex Out of It – Pictures with the ex, even if they are 99% cropped out, also send the wrong message. If you don’t want onlookers to think you are on the rebound, a serial player or insecure, it’s best to opt for an image of you solo.
5. Keep Control of Your Photo Library – One image paints a picture, 2-3 suggest you’re seriously searching, any more than that gives off an air of desperation or arrogance.
6. Don’t Hide Behind a Mask – You may look hot with hair, sunglasses or last year’s Halloween costume covering your face, but obscure face shots may not do you justice. So don’t be afraid to show off your smile and be sure to choose images that are recent. A picture of you from more than 10 years ago – before you lost your hair or put on 15 pounds, will only lead to a letdown later.
If ever in doubt, just ask a friend for a second opinion. And always remember it’s not what you look like but the impression you put out there that makes all the difference.